Patty Wilkinson Writing, traveling, having fun and meeting up with friends old and new!

#64 The Beginning- A Love Story

The Beginning- A Love Story

By
Patty Wilkinson

(Some adult scenes, violence and strong language)

Thanks to Sally Bahnsen for the screen cap

Chapter 1

Jess Harper was pure tuckered out and hot as blazes.
The noontide summer sun beat fiercely down upon him.
He removed his battered black Stetson and wiped his sleeve across his sweat and dirt ingrained handsome features. Then jamming the hat back in place, he reached for his canteen and took a swig of the warm fusty water and gave a little grimace of distaste.
What he really wanted was an ice-cold beer in the company of his beautiful girlfriend Millie Johnson, who he knew would be working at the Laramie saloon round about now. Then a long relaxing soak in the hot tub before making sweet, sweet love to his best girl. Then he revised the situation some and decided that the visit to the hot tub should come first. Figuring he’d be none too popular turning up with several weeks trail dirt ingrained into his clothes, hair and well…just about everywhere else he mused ruefully.
He was just reviewing the situation when he heard the rumbling of a Stagecoach in the distance and sure enough a few moments later a dust cloud announced the imminent arrival of the Laramie Stage. Jess reined his mount in at the side of the road. But instead of rattling on past, the driver pulled hard on the lines and brought the four in hand to a sweating, head shaking and snorting standstill.

The animals looking decidedly annoyed at being treated in such a cavalier manner, prancing and stamping to show their displeasure.
Jess looked up to the box and straight into the rheumy old eyes of none other than his good friend and sparring partner Mose Shell.
“Well looky here what the wind blew in! If it ain’t none other than Jess Harper back from exotic parts,” the old timer said throwing Jess a toothless grin.
“Howdy Mose…missed me then?” he chuckled.
“Not me son, but I figure that partner of yours, old Slim back at the ranch has. He’s been expecting you back a week ago and gettin’ pretty sick of doin’ all the chores himself, so I hear. What happened did ya get lost on that ol’ cattle drive then?”
“Nope I didn’t get lost,” he growled with a fierce look, albeit in jest, “just had a little trouble with some dang rustlers but I sorted ‘em out pretty good.”
“I’ll bet you did boy,” Mose said grinning even more broadly, “Oh well, I can’t sit around jawing’ with you all day got me a schedule to keep ya know.”
“Umm…you mean a hot date with Miss Daisy’s apple pie and coffee,” said Jess, with a grin, knowing Mose had a soft spot for their middle aged housekeeper.
“You know me too dang well the old timer laughed. I’ll tell her to keep some hot for you, shall I?”
Jess shook his head, “Tell them I’ll see them tomorrow huh Mose, got me some business in town first.”
Mose gave a big belly laugh at that news, “I’ll just bet ya have boy, I’ll tell Miss Millie to look out fer ya when I pass through, you should make it within the hour huh?”
Jess nodded in agreement, “Yup, thanks Mose, be seein’ you.”
*******
Millie dashed down to the other end of the bar looking flushed and excited.
“Lily, Lily…he’s on his way home…Mose has just been in and said he saw him back on the trail a ways. Cover for me will you, I just need to go freshen up some…please!”
Lily turned her blond curly head towards her best friend and grinned from ear to ear, “Heck Millie anyone would think you hadn’t seen your man in months not just a couple of weeks,” she chuckled.
“Three weeks and four days to be precise,” Millie said hotly, “and it’s alright for you, Slim’s been around all the time, well on Saturdays anyway and I’ve missed Jess so much!”
“Alright, I’ll cover for you, but don’t be up there forever Mill. Tom will be back from the bank in five and you know he doesn’t like us working the bar alone,” She said referring to the barkeep, their boss
“OK, but it’s hardly busy is it?” The striking, dark haired young woman said casting a dismissive eye down the saloon, to where three or four diehard barflies were enjoying a post dinner whiskey or two.
Millie was back down in record time. Wearing a low-cut dark violet colored dress trimmed with pale lemon lace, her gleaming chestnut locks freshly brushed and pinned up into a sophisticated style, making her look both demure, but also more than a little glamorous as well. A fresh slick of lipstick along with some of her favourite perfume with a subtle flowery scent gave the finishing touch to her stylish appearance.
“My oh my, the boy will be carrying you off upstairs before he’s even slaked his thirst with a cold beer,” Lily chuckled wickedly.
“Oh you,” said Millie blushing and slapping her friend’s arm, “Is Tom back yet?”
“Yes, brewing some coffee out in the back, I said you’d just popped to the bathroom.”
“Thanks Lil, I owe you,” and the curvy brunette sashayed over to the batwing doors to peep out down the street.
She returned a few minutes later, “No sign yet,” she said anxiously.
Lily raised a quizzical eyebrow, “This isn’t like you Millie, sure you and Jess are mad about each other I know that, but you’re not usually so edgy. You mostly just take his crazy way of life in your stride, don’t worry this way anyway, that’s for sure. That’s what he loves about you I guess,” she finished sagely.
“Huh, what…. he said that?”
“Umm yes a while back, he was a little drunk to be honest. It was on his Birthday, you had to work that night. Do you remember we were really busy? He just sat at the bar all night accepting Birthday drinks and watching you, “Lily said with a smile.
Millie chuckled, “I remember I said he should have gone out someplace with Slim, but he just said he wanted to be near me,” and her eyes misted at the memory.
“Yes, well I heard him say to Slim, that you were darned near perfect, way you accepted him the way he was, number of times he seems to get beat up or in trouble. He said nothing fazed you.”
“He said that did he?” asked Millie looking secretly pleased, “Well I guess when you’ve been around Jess as long as I have you get kinda used to his lifestyle.”
Then she looked thoughtful, “You said darned near perfect?”
“Umm…he said if you could just cook half as well as Miss Daisy you’d be absolutely perfect.”
“What? He said that…really?”
Lily burst out laughing, “Nah I’m just funning you.”
“Why you!” and Millie threw her a little pout.
“What is it Mill, you’ve been like a cat on hot bricks these past few days waiting on him, what’s bothering you?” asked Lily looking concerned.
Millie just shrugged, “I don’t know just one of those silly notions really. I just keep getting this feeling that I won’t ever see him again. I can’t think why, he’s only been on a cattle drive for goodness sake, not even riding posse or something dangerous like that.”
“You silly goose, he’s on his way Mose said so…Go on, go and take another look out the door I bet you’ll see him riding in any minute as large as life and twice as much trouble,” she said with a giggle.
Millie gave her friend an impulse hug, “Oh Lily you are so good for me. You’ve certainly stopped me being silly and fanciful thanks, you’re a good friend,” and with that she wandered off back to the saloon door, to peep out once more.
*******
Unbeknownst to Millie, Jess had arrived in town a good twenty minutes ago and had been passing the time of day with old Bert from the livery whilst the young cowboy tended to his horse at the same time.
“I’ve got me a boy who helps with rubbin’ down and feeding you know Jess?” he said with a chuckle as the old timer leaned on the stall chewing on a straw, hat tipped back as he watched Jess caring for Traveller.
“Yup, I know it and he’s a great kid too…But I kinda like to tend my own mount after a long hard ride, you know Bert? It seems kinda fittin’ after he’s looked out for me so well.”
The livery owner beamed and said, “Well they can say what they like about you Jess Harper…but I do like a boy who looks out for his horse …can’t be all bad….”
Jess just nodded sagely…and then what the old man had said hit home and his head shot up… “Why you old son of a… dad gum it Bert!” And he threw him a gentle punch, which the old man parried with ease.
“Just joshin’ you boy, you know that…So how’s about a coffee and you tell me all about them thar rustlers of yours huh?”
“Uh, well I’d like to Bert, but I’ve got me a hot tub, a young lady and a pint of the best beer waitin’ on me, so I figure I’ll give you a rain check on that,” he replied with a cheeky grin. Shortly after he patted Traveller on the rump, called his farewells and made his way off down Main Street towards the hotel.
The street was getting busy again after the dinner break lull, with shops doing some lively business and a good few thirsty men making for the saloon, much to Millie’s irritation. She had spent the last few minutes hanging about on the sidewalk on the pretext of sweeping but knew she couldn’t stay out much longer and turned to go back inside to give Lily a hand.
That was when she caught a glimpse of Jess striding along the sidewalk across the street, his saddlebags over his shoulder and making purposefully towards the hotel, destined for the hot tub Millie surmised smiling to herself.
She waved and called out, but the clatter of rider’s horses and wagons making their way up and down the street drowned her voice out.
She called again and then taking a quick look up and down the street ran across dodging the busy traffic.
Except she wasn’t quite fast enough….
A large heavily laden wagon suddenly seemed to come from nowhere careering down the middle of the street and caught Millie a glancing blow as she stood frozen to the spot with fear. Next moment she was hurled through the air and gave a shrill scream before falling with a sickening thud several feet away where she lay face down in the dirt…deathly still.
Jess’s head shot up and he stared in consternation at the unfolding events of the last few seconds as the other bystanders had done. Then he had a terrible gut feeling of doom and throwing down his saddle bags he tore across the street and stood motionless for a second looking down at the body as he recognised Millie’s best violet coloured dress…now covered in dust and smeared with blood. The other onlookers moved back for him and he knelt down and very gently turned her over revealing her deathly white face….and apparently lifeless, crumpled body.
“No, dear God no!” He uttered before taking her gently in his arms and cradling her limp body…fear making his heart pound like it might leap clear out of his chest. His jaw clenched and he felt rising bile as he looked into the face that he knew and loved so well, “Please God no,” he whispered again softly, tears pricking behind his desolate blue eyes….
Just minutes later someone came and bent down beside him, gently taking Millie’s wrist and Jess turned to see his good friend Doc Sam Baker, checking for a pulse. After another few seconds more, which seemed like a lifetime to Jess, Sam turned and nodded to him.
“She’s still with us Jess, carry her over to my office,” and getting up he pushed the now large crowd of ghoulish spectators roughly away calling for space for his patient. Then he turned back to Jess who was still cradling Millie’s inert form.
“Jess, Jess, come on,” he said urgently, registering that his friend was deeply shocked, “She’s OK buddy but I need to take a look at her in my office.”
Jess looked up at his friend with an almost vacant expression in his eyes and then shaking his head he appeared to wake from some private nightmare.
“Yeah, of course,” and he picked his girl up tenderly and carried her briskly through the crowds to Doc Sam’s place just a few doors down the street.
His young daughter, cum nurse, Carrie was there to meet them, ushering them inside and helping to lay Millie down on the examination couch before gently steering Jess away from the bedside.
“Just give Pa some space to check her out Jess,” she said softly, the deep shock and concern in his eyes mirrored in her own, Millie being a dear friend.
He threw her a mutinous glance, “I ain’t leavin’ her Carrie.”
“Alright, but just sit over here,” she said taking his arm and guiding him to a second cot in the hospital room, just give Pa some space to do his work huh Jess please.”
He sat and then hung his head looking shame faced, before looking back up at her “Sure…I’m sorry Carrie I didn’t mean to snap at you…it’s just …” and he could say no more, his throat seeming to close up preventing further speech.
“I know,” she said softly, patting his arm before going to help her father.
Sam bent over his patient and listened intently to her breathing and heart with his stethoscope, checking her pulse again and then flashing a light in her eyes and noting the response, before casting his daughter an anxious glance. They continued to work on Millie, stripping her of her garments and bathing and binding her multiple lacerations. Jess looked on as though living through his worst nightmare…his eyes dark and brooding. Aware that she was making no sound, was indeed still deeply unconscious and his heart froze with fear….
After a good hour the doctor turned away from his patient to look at Jess, noting the terrible despair in his eyes.
As soon as Sam had stopped working Jess sprang up from the cot where he’d been sitting watching every move and advanced on the sickbed, staring down at his love, now swathed in snowy white bandages. The dressings around her forehead making the terrible blue-black bruising to her face even more shocking.
“Why ain’t she come round yet Sam?” Jess asked looking back up to the doc, “It’s been over an hour. Then more aggressively, “I’ll kill that silly old fool Barton for drivin’ so dang reckless….”
“Steady Jess, one thing at a time huh, Mort’s dealing with Harold Barton, don’t you fret. As to young Millie here, she’s sustained multiple injuries. I guess he caught her almost full on, a miracle she wasn’t trampled under the horses….”
Both men sighed, digesting that grizzly thought, before Sam continued, “Anyway as it is she has fractured ribs, cuts and lacerations to her limbs and torso, but the worst injury seems to be this deep gash to her temple, where she caught it on the edge of the boardwalk.”
“But you’ve cleaned it up real good and stitched it, I saw ya Sam, she’ll be OK…in time huh?”
Sam sighed again and cast his daughter a worried glance before turning back to Jess.
“I think we need to talk buddy come into my study and I’ll get my housekeeper to fire up the hot tub for you too, you look like you could do with a good soak, refresh you some…huh?”
Jess just stared at him in disbelief, “What! Garl darn it Sam, never mind about the dang trail dirt…I just wanna know about my girl!”
“Alright Jess just simmer down. Millie will be er, sleeping for some time yet and Carrie will sit with her and let us know if there’s any change…any change at all. Now come on pal, you look like a man who could use a stiff drink.”
Jess was finally persuaded to join Sam in a whiskey in his office and once both men were seated in the comfortable armchairs flanking the fireplace, the doc started to explain.
“I need you to be aware of how serious this is Jess.”
“I can see how goddamn serious it is Sam! Hang it all, I’ve just watched you put the woman I love together again piece by piece…and sure it’ll take time for her to heal…I can see that…I….”
“Hush Jess just listen to me will you buddy,” the doc said raising his hand to stop Jess’s angry rant. Sure his friend was upset, real upset. But the truth had to be told and Sam needed to tell it while he still had the strength to say what had to be said…even though he knew Jess would be devastated.
“Did you see me check her pupil reactions?”
“Huh?”
“Her eyes Jess, I flashed a light in her eyes and well the truth is things aren’t looking too good.”
“Huh…what do you mean…. her eyes are damaged, she’s blind?”
“No…no nothing like that Jess, but the way the eyes react to light can be an indicator…of…well… of brain damage buddy. That knock to her head could have seriously damaged her brain. That’s why she hasn’t woken up. She’s in what we call a coma. Sort of deeply unconscious and it’s not looking too good…I’m so sorry.”
“What…what are ya saying Sam, she’s gonna die…or be simple if she wakes up from this here…this er… coma?”
“It’s just impossible to say Jess. It depends on how deeply unconscious she is and how long she stays in that condition. It is possible she could come out of the coma at any time. But the bottom line is while she is this way it will be hard, real hard, to get any water into her. She seems to have retained the ability to swallow…so far…But if she loses that and we can’t even spoon fluids into her, she’d just choke. Well then, without any fluids she’ll only survive a few days…a week at most.”
Jess bowed his head and then shot out of his chair and started pacing around the room looking agitated.
He shook his head, “No this ain’t gonna happen Sam, if she can still swallow then I’ll give her the water she needs until she wakes up…because I’m tellin’ you now she’s gonna make it.”
*******
Once Jess had checked on his girl again he was finally persuaded to wash up but refused anything to eat or drink and soon took his place back at Millie’s bedside.
“Hey sweetheart, I’m all washed up, been in Sam’s hot tub. You gonna wake up now, see how darned clean I’m lookin’ huh? I even had a nice close shave for ya Mill. Sorry about these dang trail clothes, still kinda dusty I guess, I’ll go change as soon as you wake up though huh?”
But she moved not a muscle, her poor battered face impassive, her eyes tightly closed and her breathing so shallow that Jess could barely make out the rise and fall of her chest.
“Millie, don’t do this,” he whispered, his voice choked as he took her hand his eyes pleading for some response. But there was nothing.
A second later Sam came in to check on his patient.
“Did I hear you talking to her just now?” he asked casting Jess a thoughtful glance.
Jess flushed a little, “I guess so, crazy I know…just tryin’ to get a reaction I reckon.”
“No, no my dear chap,” said Sam quickly, “on the contrary you are doing exactly the right thing.”
“I am?” asked Jess looking bewildered.
“Umm…I have just been studying the very latest information on comas in one of my Medical Journals and they seem to think there is a great possibility that the ability to hear is the very last sense to be lost. There is a very real possibility that Millie may be able to hear, even though she can’t react.”
“As long as her brain ain’t hurt so bad that she maybe doesn’t even know me,” Jess said looking profoundly upset.
“Yes…always supposing that Jess. But let’s try and stay positive. I really think talking might be the best thing for her right now and it certainly can’t do any harm.”
Jess just nodded, “OK so what do I talk about?”
“Uh…well that’s up to you buddy, things that make her happy, about the two of you maybe? Fun times you’ve had together…Heck even the bad times anything that might stimulate her and get that old brain working again huh.”
“OK Sam I’ll try.”
Chapter 2

Once he and Millie were alone together again he took her hand and squeezed it gently.
“I’m gonna be here right by your side until you wake up sweetheart,” he said softly, “and Doc Sam seems to think it would be good fer you iffen we talk well me that is,” he said with a rueful smile.
“Can you squeeze my hand if you can hear me Millie…huh, can you?” But there was nothing.
He sighed and then rallied, “OK so will you squeeze my hand when you want me to shut the hell up then huh?” he said with a grim chuckle knowing that would appeal to her sense of humour.
He looked up to the ceiling seeking inspiration and then back into the face he loved so well, “OK so how about that first time we met, can ya recall that Mill? I can like it were just yesterday,” he said softly.
He was trudging to school and pretty much dreading the reception he would get from old Ma Stark the school teacher when he landed there. He might only have been seven years of age, but already he’d gotten on the wrong side of the school marm. Mostly it was his Pa’s fault he reflected bitterly now…It was him that had kept the young Jesse at home from school more than he had attended. That was down to his Pa wanting him and the rest of the Harper brood to work the land. When he deemed it necessary that is, which seemed to be most of the dang time, Jesse reflected morosely.
It was already mid fall and this was his first day back after the long summer break. There was a chilly wind and the promise of rain later adding to his already miserable state of mind and he shivered a little his ragged shirt and ripped denims doing little to keep out the cold.
Then he heard it. The sound of childish raised voices and turning a bend in the road saw two diminutive figures ahead of him. The larger of the two was dressed in a grey dress with a white pinafore, a matching grey bonnet, and a pair of highly polished black boots. She appeared to be arguing violently with a toddler. He was having the mother and father of all tantrums, throwing himself in the dirt and screaming blue murder…his small face flushed and contorted with rage.
Jesse mooched over and stood beside them staring in morbid fascination at the scene before him….
After a while the girl turned to him, her beautiful brown eyes opened wide with frustration and she threw her arms up in a gesture of hopelessness. “I give up with him I really do!” she said crossly.
“What’s his problem?” Jesse asked looking at the small boy before returning his interested gaze back to this rather pretty girl.
“He wants to come to school with me,” she replied hotly, “I know Ma Stark will take young ‘un’s but he ain’t three yet and none too trustworthy in the outhouse department either,” she added conversationally. Jesse who had two younger siblings back home took this in his stride.
“Is he crazy,” he asked looking astounded, “so who’d wanna go to school iffen they didn’t hafta …huh?”
But before the girl could reply a rather harassed looking woman advanced upon them. She had similar coloring to the girl and an identical pinafore over her dark dress and looked apologetically at her daughter.
She scooped up the offending infant and gave the older children a rueful smile, “I’m so sorry my dears I do hope Tad hasn’t made you late for school. I only turned my back for a second and he was off after his big sis as usual,” she said with a friendly grin in Jesse’s direction.
Once her Ma had departed with the recalcitrant Tad, the girl turned to Jesse.
“Well howdy,” she said with a friendly grin, just like her Ma’s, “I’m Millie Johnson just moved into the old Barton spread, who are you?”
“Jesse, Jesse Harper, live over yonder,” he said tipping his head back towards the ridge, “our place backs onto your un I guess.”
“Pleased to meet you Jesse,” she said formally holding out a small clean hand.
He took it and shook it seriously, thinking what a nice kid she seemed.
“So Jesse ain’t you cold?” she asked matter a factly peering down at his bare feet.
He flushed up a little at that and his chin came up, “Nope, used to it ain’t I,” he said gruffly.
“How come you haven’t got boots,” she persisted…with the tenacity of a bossy little six-year-old.
He sighed deeply and finally decided to be honest, “I’m waitin’ on my brother to quit wearin’ his and pass ‘em down,” he said quietly. “As soon as they pinch him I’ll get ‘em I reckon.”
Her pretty little face that had been set in an enquiring frown now relaxed, “Oh I get it…yeah it really sucks doesn’t it,” she said cheerfully, “I have to wait on my big sis Ginny to get through with her stuff too, she’s ten, but real small for her age seems to take forever before I get her things though,” and she sighed, resigned to her lot.
Then she turned back to Jesse, relieved to see he had lost the stern expression and was now smiling at her in sympathy.
“That’s us, how about you, many more Harpers over the ridge?”
“Too dang many,” Jesse replied darkly.“My big brother he’s nearly twelve now, then there’s Francie she’s ten, me…I’m seven…well nearly eight,” he said proudly. “Then there’s the little un’ s a sister of nearly four and a baby brother….”
“Wow,” said Millie in surprise, “you ain’t kiddin’ that’s quite a brood…how about your Ma and Pa are they nice?”
“Ma’s real good yeah,” he said honestly. “She’s kinda strict with Bible readin’, washin and stuff, but she’s a right enough Ma, sure.”
“And your Pa?”
Jesse looked away quickly, “Come on,” he said starting to run, “that dang bells’ been ringin’ this past five minutes an’ there ’ll be hell to pay iffen we’re late.”
Millie grinned after her cussin’, ragamuffin new friend and tore down the road behind him.
*******
From that day on they were practically inseparable. Any time Jesse was able to skive off and go hunting or fishing it was with young Millie. He was amazed at the change in her that first time they met up on a Saturday afternoon in the woods adjacent to their homes.
Confidant in the fact that his Pa would be happily settled in the saloon for most of the afternoon Jesse had run off as soon as his chores were finished. Then with his fishing rod over his shoulder and joy in his heart at the prospect of an afternoon down by the creek.
He barely recognised Millie when she turned up after he had settled down on the river bank and had been fishing for a few minutes.
She wore a pair of faded denim dungarees, over an old plaid shirt and her hair was loose, cascading down to her waist in delightful waves and Jesse thought she looked wonderful. But then she proved to be an even better companion than he had hoped for. He had expected some girlie shrieks of revulsion when he baited the line…but nothing. Millie merely accepted the worm he offered before deftly baiting her own hook and casting the line. She then went on to pull out almost as many fish as young Jesse did and he was amazed.
But then she really excelled herself. He had sheepishly told her he had to fetch his Ma a couple of rabbits back for their supper.
“Well why hasn’t your Pa already done that?” she asked in surprise. Knowing that her own Pa had not only shot a small deer just that morning but had also butchered it for her Ma and it was doubtless now cooking to perfection in her Ma’s cook stove.
“He’s …er been kinda busy, so it’s down to me,” he said gruffly, again assuming the rather distant angry persona she had witnessed when his lack of boots had first been mentioned.
“OK,” she said lightly, not wanting to upset her new friend, “I guess I’ll tag along, try my new slingshot.”
Just half an hour later she had bagged two prime rabbits to Jesse’s one and happily handed over the largess.
“Hey I can’t take them,” he said rather brusquely, but Millie was adamant, “Heck I’ve no need of them…besides it was you that showed me the best place to find the critters. Just luck that I shot that big one, you’d have for sure iffen you’d seen him first.”
Jesse’s rather battered male pride was assuaged, by her words and he grinned in thanks, before they both turned for home.
That was when he realised how late it was.
The sun was sinking fast and he tore back home through the woods…into the house and then stood on the threshold observing the scene within. The table empty his Ma in tears, the young ‘un’ s looking apprehensive and his father furious. As Jesse slowly entered the rabbits slung across his shoulder, his Pa rose from the table roaring in anger.
“Where in hell have you been ....and where’s my dang supper!” he yelled.
*******
The following Saturday Jesse spent the morning slaving away in the yard completing all the chores his Pa had left for him, the relentless heat of an Indian Summer beating down and he was glad he had arranged to meet up with Millie later at the water hole for a swim.
As soon as his work was finished he hurriedly made his way across the ridge, down through the woods and into the narrow valley. Here the creek widened out into a large water hole surrounded by mighty pines offering some relief from the harsh heat of the noon day sun.
He found Millie asleep under one of the huge pines and woke her by tickling her until she screamed for mercy. Then they stripped off their clothes and tore into the icy depths of the swimming hole as innocent and playful as a pair of young puppies. They splashed and messed around for an hour or so before finally returning to the sandy bank and relaxing in the hot sun to dry off.
Jess was lying naked on his front, dozing when he felt Millie’s gentle little hand on his back and heard her give a cry of consternation, “Jesse?”
“Huh, wha…what is it?” he asked drowsily, rolling onto his side and squinting up at her.
Then he noticed the look of shocked dismay on her sweet little face.
“Millie…Mill what’s up?” he asked again.
“Your…your back,” she said swallowing and looking close to tears… “whatever happened to your back Jesse? It’s black and blue….”
He sat up and sucked in a deep breath, before turning to gaze at her, his expression unreadable.
“My Pa,” he finally whispered, “that’s what…I was late with his supper last week so he walloped me...real good.”
“Your…your Pa did this?” she said in ill-disguised horror wondering what sort of monster he must be, and thinking fleetingly of her of dear kindly Pa.
“Said so didn’t I,” he replied abruptly.
Then, after a long pause he said more kindly, “It don’t hurt too much, now anyways.”
When she didn’t answer he looked at her properly and saw tears streaming down her face as she cried silently.
“Hey Mill…don’t take on so,” he said quickly, “it ain’t of no big thing…Pa often whops me when he comes back from the saloon. I’m used to it now really I am. Besides I’m gettin’ to run faster than him,” he said hugging her and flashing his cheeky grin.
“Oh Jesse,” she said quietly, “I wish I could make it all better really I do.”}

Now Jess shook his head remembering that amazing compassion from the then 6-year-old Millie.
He looked down into the battered, but to his eyes still beautiful, face of the now grown up Millie, “Hell I sure wish I could make it all better for you too sweetheart,” he whispered.

Chapter 3

Millie was his constant companion during those adventurous days of their young lives as they slowly grew and matured, he mused now. Sure, he had other buddies, some boys and one or two girls too, but none of them could hold a candle to Millie. She was the best at fishing, best with the sling shot and yes, he admitted now his best friend. That was until something happened that kinda unsettled their friendship…for a while at least.
“Hey Millie, do ya recall the time we sorta fell out, over Abby? I guess you were kind of jealous huh?” He studied the deeply sleeping Millie for some hint that she had heard him, some small sign that yes sure she was mad jealous when Jess got that thing about Abby. He was just ten years old, Millie nearly nine….and Abby the older woman at fifteen and he sighed at the memory.
“You remember Millie…do ya?”
Abigail Jackson, now that had been a case of real Spring Fever if ever there was one. For the first awakening of feelings for the opposite sex Jess had to choose Abby Jackson to fall in love with when probably every red-blooded male in the town was in love with Abby too and didn’t she know it.
She was a tease of the worst kind, leading a man on and then knocking him back. She had a way of lookin’ deep into your eyes as if she knew everything about you, the eyes always leading you on to make an even bigger fool of yourself he remembered. Then she would give a few words of kindness and then next thing look like she was laughing at you. Boy he sure did suffer lovin’ Abby! When her Ma and Pa decided to sell up and move to Denver, well it near broke young Jess’s heart.
He turned to Millie as she sat next to him on the edge of the creek. Both of them were spending some time fishing together again for once, although Millie had seen very little of Jess over the last month.
“I’ve told ya before,It’s Jess now, not Jesse,” he said his eyes darkening with anger.
“Jess, Jesse what’s the difference?” Millie asked throwing him a scornful glance.
He just sighed and turned back to stare sullenly at the water below them.
“Oh, I get it,” she said after a moment, “it’s all about that Abby Jackson isn’t it? You just wanna appear to be older, you figure she’s really gonna take you serious just because you change your name Jesse?” She laughed nastily, elongating the final ‘e’ just to rile him more.
“Shut up,” he cried his face flushing a deep red and his eyes now almost black with anger, “What would you know about it Millie you’re only a little girl what’s an eight-year-old little kid like you gonna know about being in love anyways!”
“I know when someone’s being taken for a sucker and that’s you Jess. Sure, she cuddles up to you sometimes…all over you, ’Oh thank you for the flowers Jess, you’re so cute honey,’” she said in a parody of Abby’s dulcet tones. “Then she’s off with one of the Benson brothers, Chuck and Lenny she plays them off against each other too. Why can’t you see her for what she is Jess!”
“And why don’t you mind yer own business, you don’t know anything about it…you don’t understand!” and he stormed off without a backward glance.}

Now he peered down at his girl and stroked her limp hand gently.
“Hell, I’m sorry sweetheart,” he said softly, “I was real mean to you over Abby weren’t I…I guess it was the age difference between us, you didn’t really understand how I was feelin’. Well, I really loved her ya know. First time I felt… that way… about any girl. Sure, I loved you, always have I guess…but it was different back then I loved you as a buddy…nuthin’ more.”
Then he looked at her again, had she moved? Nope. He sighed and continued.
“You’re right of course I did make a fool of myself over Abby. But hell, I really thought I loved her…as well as a ten-year-old can be in love, that is. You were younger and like I say you didn’t really understand…not then anyway. I figure you were just jealous because she came between our friendship.”
He shook his head sadly, “She even let me kiss her a few times, ya know…Jeez I felt so darned bad when she left. But then I figure you helped me pick up the pieces. Forgave me like the good kid you were and we carried on just bein’ best buddies again until that Christmas after the summer I fell for Abby. That was a real special Christmas Mill….do ya remember it…huh?”
My Ma was real sick and Pa had sent the little ones and Francie off to relatives…but they didn’t wanna be bothered with me and my brother, so Wade, he went to a friend’s place and your Ma said she’d take me.

It was cold and dark when Jess finally arrived at the Johnson’s shack a mile or so over the ridge from where he lived. He stood outside the warmly lit little cabin, listening to the laughter and happy banter coming from within, a roller coaster of emotions flooding through him.
Part of him was incredibly angry at his Ma for being sick, at his Pa for, heck, just for being his Pa, and even directed at his good friends the Johnson family, having him to stay. He was the charity case and them doing a good turn for his poor downtrodden old Ma. He nearly ran off, the shame and anger taking over.
But there was another part of him wanted to join in, to be a part of this lively, happy loving family that was so different to his own. Wanted to be with his best friend, little Millie, and to laugh with Tad and tease her elder sister Ginny, to relax in the kind loving presence of Ma Johnson, who he knew would spoil him rotten.
Then there was Millie’s Pa… Gee, Mr. Johnson was a great guy. He was everything his own Pa was not;kind, approachable, sober and hardworking. Sure, the Johnson’s lived in poverty like his own folks, but at least Pa Johnson put food on the table and could provide the basics of a Christmas for his family. Mainly because he didn’t drink away every darn cent he earned, like his own Pa did, Jess thought bitterly.
He still stood undecided on the doorstep, hating being this figure of pity, but before he could run off, the door suddenly swung open and Millie stood there.
“Hey, I was just comin’ to look for you,” she said, her brown eyes laughing up at him. “Heck, what are you doin’ standin’ out here, Jess? It’s freezin’.” Grabbing him by the arm, she pulled him into the warm comfortable place that was home to her and her loving family.
From that moment on, Jess was treated just as one of the family. No big deal; he wasn’t some poor waif or stray landed to be viewed with sympathy, the poor Harper kid. Nope he was just treated in the same rough and tumble way as the other Johnson offspring, his presence viewed matter of factly, just another family member popped in to celebrate Christmas, and Jess had never forgotten that...his first real Christmas.
He’d bedded down in Tad’s room, and as the boys went off that night, Ma handed them a stocking apiece. Jess looked at her with questioning blue eyes.
“For Santa dear,” Mrs. Johnson said smiling down at him.
“Huh?”
“You put it down at the bottom of your bed, and Santa comes and puts presents in for you,” said Tad knowledgeably. “Heck, I’m only five an’ I know that, Jess,” he said in amazement at his hero’s ignorance.
“Oh, yeah, sure,” said Jess with a look of skepticism far beyond his years. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson exchanged a sad glance over the head of the world-weary boy who knew nothing of the childish joys of Santa Claus and all he represented.
It was with unbridled excitement that Jess awoke the following morning to find a stocking on the end of his bed stuffed with a generosity of gifts he found hard to comprehend. Never had he had so many good things just for himself, as any favors, such as they were, always had to be shared between the five children in the Harper household.
From the penny comic sticking out of the top to the bag of nuts in the toe, everything was a pure delight to the young boy and he just couldn’t believe his luck.
But then things just got better and better, from the pancakes with maple syrup at breakfast to the turkey dinner, to the games and fun and laughter. Every moment of the day was special to the young Jess, but the very best moment came just before bedtime.
Ma Johnson was putting an over-excited Tad to bed, and Ginny and her Pa were poring over a book she had been given, when Millie whispered for Jess to follow her outside.
Once they had made their escape, they ran over to the barn, and pulling the heavy door open, ran inside. After a moment, Millie lit a small lantern.
“What are we doin’ over here?” asked Jess. “It’s a mite chilly,” he remarked, noting Millie was wearing a pretty but thin party dress instead of her usual work a day denim dungarees, and wondered if she was feeling the cold too.
“Got somethin’ to show you,” she whispered, and turning, she slipped inside one of the stalls. Reaching behind a bale of straw, she returned with a small parcel wrapped in brightly colored paper.
Jess’s face was a picture of concern. “Hey Mill, I ain’t got anythin’ for you. I’m real sorry.”
“Don’t be daft. Didn’t expect anything,” she said stoutly. “Heck, I know how you’re fixed, Jess. It’s just been great you being over today.”
“Really?”
“Sure. Now you gonna open it or what?” she asked reverting to her little girl bossiness.
Jess carefully removed the wrapping, revealing a beautifully fashioned little bracelet made from leather thongs weaved together.
“It’s a special friendship bracelet,” Millie said smiling. “I’ve made it for you, and if you wear it, well, it means we’re best friends forever and ever. You want it?” she asked, suddenly shy.
Jess’s eyes were bright with unshed tears. “Sure I do; sure I want it,” he whispered.
She smiled at him, and taking it from his trembling hands, carefully tied the bracelet around his skinny little wrist. “Right, we’re officially best friends forever and ever now,” she exclaimed, “and you can kiss me.”
Jess stood there staring at her for a moment, suddenly realizing how pretty she looked in her party dress her tousled dark curls falling around her shoulders and a becoming flush to her cheeks. Then he leaned forwards, and gently taking her by the shoulders, he kissed her fleetingly on the lips, before pulling quickly back.
Millie beamed at him, now returning back to her bossy little self. “That was good for a first try,” she said, “very good. But I expect we’ll need to practice, when we’re all grown up, that is.”
“Yeah… ok,” murmured Jess warily, “when we’re grown up...yeah.” Shortly afterwards, they ran back to the house, laughing and pushing as they went, back to being as playful and carefree as a pair of young puppies.}

“And I guess we have ain’t we sweetheart…practiced kissin’ that is.”
Then he smiled, “That was the best darned Christmas I ever had as a kid, you know that? The way you all made me feel like I was one of the family…kinda special I guess…even your big sis Ginny was nice that day, remember? Then when you gave me that little bracelet, well I guess that was the best present I’d ever had….
Still got it you know, with my special stuff back at the ranch. Maybe we’ll have a little ‘un someday and I can pass it on huh?”
He looked down at her dear face again and felt the tears pricking at the back of his eyes, felt like his heart might break, she had to pull through this, she just had to.
He leaned forwards and very tenderly kissed her cheek, “I guess I’m about all talked out for tonight honey,” he whispered. Then he leaned back in his chair still grasping her hand gently, “but I ain’t goin’ no place I’ll be here just as soon as you wake up…OK?”

Chapter 4
The following morning when Doc Sam went to check on his patient he found Jess fast asleep in the chair next to the bed, but still gently holding Millie’s hand.
He shook his buddy awake and Jess sat up sharply looking around him in slight bewilderment before he remembered where he was and why.
“How is she Sam, any change?”
The doctor stood up from where he’d been studying his patient carefully and shook his head.
“I’m sorry Jess she’s a little worse if anything in fact I think she’s losing the capacity to swallow, was she alright in the night?”
“Yup I got quite a few spoonfuls’ of water down her, last one about an hour ago I guess…just gone five I think.”
“Umm…well I’ll give the next. I’m rather worried that we may have to stop administering it this way, it could well go down into her lungs if she really has lost her swallowing reflex.”
“Then what?” asked Jess squinting up at Sam fear suddenly clutching his heart.
Sam looked down.
“Then she’ll just have a few days…I’m so sorry Jess.”
He just dipped his head and cussed softly.
Then the next moment he was leaning over Millie grabbing her shoulders and shaking her…yelling.
“Wake up Goddamn it Mill, wake up fer Christ’s sake. Just wake up will ya!”
“Jess…Jess buddy, simmer down,” said Sam pulling him away, “Come on, come and take a break…Carrie will sit with her.”
Jess was finally persuaded to leave Millie in Carrie’s excellent care and went and slouched down in an armchair in Sam’s study, refusing anything to eat or drink.
“Jess for goodness sake you must eat something,” said Sam looking exasperated, “You’ll get sick next thing.”
“Well that don’t matter,” muttered Jess darkly, “iffen she don’t get well I don’t give a damn about me.”
The doc just sighed and said nothing more on the subject.
“I rode out at first light and filled in Slim and Daisy on the situation and they send their love. Slim was all for riding back in with me, but I said there was nothing he could do.”
Jess nodded, “Thanks, he needs to be at the ranch with me being away so long.”
“Daisy said the women’s group are all praying for Millie…and you too.”
He just nodded at that news and bowed his head before looking the doc in the eye.
“I reckon you think that’s about all we can do now dontcha doc, you’ve given up ain’t you…huh?”
The doctor sighed deeply, “You’ll never know how difficult it is for a doctor not to be able to help Jess. It’s what we’re trained for, to save lives and when we can’t well…it hurts you know…hurts real bad.”
Jess looked over at his friend the light of compassion in his deep blue eyes, “Yeah, I know that Sam and I’m sorry for being so dang ornery. I guess it’s the only way I can cope right now.”
Sam just reached over and squeezed his shoulder.
Then a second later the door flew open and Carrie rushed in, “Pa come quick, it’s Millie, she’s choking.”
*******
Sam had been able to avert disaster and Millie was soon breathing normally again, but it was obvious that she was now unable to take liquids orally and the end would be coming sooner rather than later.
Sam and Carrie had exchanged a troubled look as Jess settled down beside the bed once again after the panic was over.
“You do understand what this means don’t you Jess?” Sam eventually said sadly.
Jess’s head shot up and he threw Sam a challenging look, “Sure I do, it means I’ve gotta get her out of this darned coma soon as I can and iffen that means talkin’ to her ‘til I’m blue in the face then that’s just what I’m gonna do.”
Once Sam and Carrie had left the room he took Millie’s hand and said softly, “You sure gave us a scare there sweetheart, now you’re gonna have to wake up pretty soon and take a drink you’ve been layin’ there way too long…you understand me huh?”
There was no movement, her pale beautiful face impassive, her breathing almost imperceptible and her body as still and silent as though carved from granite.
He sighed deeply, “OK I guess maybe we’ll talk through some of the stuff that was kinda…kinda bad as well as real good, maybe that’ll get that old brain of yours tickin’ over again…huh?”
“First the real good bit huh? I guess we just went on being real good buddies, huntin’, fishin’ even shootin’ when we was older, you were a regular guy, just one of the boys, although I hafta admit a darned better shot than most of us. That’s why it hit me so dang hard the way you looked the night of the farmer’s dance. I figure you were about thirteen and I’d just turned fifteen and my life was tough…real tough.
See I’d never got on with my Pa, I guess that was no secret. God knows you saw all the bruises I carried courtesy of good ol’ Pa when he had been tipping the jug, which was most times by then. But since I’d hit my teens things had got worse, much worse. He realised that I was growing up fast and the day wasn’t too far off when I’d be able to beat him in a fist fight. In fact, I’d already downed him a couple of times when he’d been abusing my Ma and he knew I’d got me a gun too. Seems his brother, my old Uncle Seth had let it slip.
See Seth had been a friend to me back then…helped me out buyin’ shells and the like. That was until I found out what he was really like, but I guess you know all about that dontcha.” (See Wanted Dead or Alive)“Anyway, this Farmers and Ranchers Summer Dance was coming up and it was you who asked me to go with you. Ha, our first date and you asked me. I guess I’ve always kidded you about that ain’t I? See it was this way…as I remember it anyway.”
“I guess I’d always tagged along to the dances, well the ones held for families like the summer dance. It was a free for all sorta celebration of a good growing season and everyone from the new baby in the family to yer granny went and all had a good ol’ time. Even my Pa got real affable, amount of drinks he got down him so we usually had a swell time.”
“But this time was kinda special I guess because you’d asked me. I made sure I was turned out pretty smart, well as smart as it got in our house that is. I had my brother Wade’s best hand me down pants and a brand new pale blue shirt Ma had made me special for my Birthday. I guess my luck was runnin’ real good as Wade had just finished with some boots too. I reckon they were pretty much down at heel by that time but at least they were boots and I polished them until I could see my face in ‘em. I was feeling mighty good when I set off to collect you and walk you down.”

“Oh my don’t you look the part dear,” said Peggy Johnson standing back to view the personable young man on her door step. He held his Stetson in his hands, nervously running his fingers around the rim. His dark unruly hair, for once slicked neatly back and his clothes were quite smart and clean. He even wore boots she noticed with a little smile, bless the boy, Wade’s no doubt she thought absently.
Then before she could ask Jess in, there was a movement behind her and she moved a step back to reveal her beautiful daughter.
Jess too took a pace backwards his jaw dropping in admiration at this vision of loveliness before him. “Mill…Millie that you?” he almost squeaked.
She wore a figure hugging dress in pale yellow that accentuated her dark hair and eyes and showed off her newly matured figure to great advantage. Gone was the skinny little girl, in dungarees with the huge eyes and hair in braids. No, here as though having newly emerged from some sort of chrysalis was the most exquisite ‘butterfly’ and Jess just couldn’t believe his eyes.
She exchanged a knowing look with her Ma and then smiled back at him, “Sure it is cowboy,” she said tossing her chestnut curls that now cascaded freely down almost to her waist, “Are we goin’ or what?”
Millie’s usual matter of fact manner reassured him some and he offered his arm to her.
“I’ll see y’all at the dance later Ma,” she called as Jess proudly walked her off.
But after a second, he stopped in his tracks and turning back touched his hat and said, “I’ll look after her real good Mrs Johnson.”
She beamed at him then, “I know you will son, you always do…have fun,” and she retreated back into the house leaving Jess and Millie to make their way on the short walk to their neighbour’ s barn where the hoe down was to take place.
It wasn’t until he held her in his arms on the small improvised dance floor for a slow number that it really hit him that his relationship with Millie had changed irrevocably. The way he thought about her…hell he had to admit the way he felt about her had suddenly altered.
Sure, he’d flirted with girls before even stolen the odd kiss or two from some, in fact got real close to a couple as well but never Millie…never this way. Heck she was his best friend he didn’t do that kinda stuff with her. But now, suddenly he wanted to.
The way she looked up at him from under her lashes made his heart beat faster and he felt the warmth of her nubile young body, the heat emanating through her thin cotton dress as he held her close…Felt the soft pressure of her newly curvaceous body…against his own…felt himself begin to respond to her.
Hell, this was all wrong. This was Millie, his buddy his hunting, fishin’ fun lovin’ partner. When had she suddenly changed this way? She’d changed from a pal into a…well into a girl and a dang attractive one to boot.
At about the same time as these thoughts were crashing around Jess’s head, the same thing occurred to Millie. Well not that he was a boy and an extremely handsome one, she’d figured that a while back. No, she suddenly realised the profound affect she was having on him and hid a little smile...So this was what growing up was all about. Change…the end of one kind of friendship and the beginning of another she thought with a maturity way beyond her years. Maybe her big sis had been of some use to her after all, she thought smiling inwardly. She could be such a cow…but sometimes…just sometimes she was a blessing to Millie. And her sister’s insights into dating boys and that kinda thing were sure spot on she now realised….
Jess pulled back looking flushed and slightly self-conscious.
“It’s kinda hot in here, fancy a turn outside?” he asked casting her his cheeky, if slightly uncertain, grin.
Once they were out the back of the barn Jess turned to Millie and figured she looked even more beautiful by the light of the full moon.
“Your folks seem to be enjoying themselves,” Millie said.
“Yeah,” muttered Jess quietly, “Pa is happy enough as long as the grog's cheap and flowin’ real plentiful.”
“What about your Ma?” she said softly, “Is she enjoying herself?”
He shrugged, “As well as she can I guess considerin’.”
“What, the way your Pa is you mean?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I guess” and he shrugged again, “anyways I ain’t interested in what they’re thinkin’.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah…come on Millie…this is …well kinda different huh?”
“Different?”
“Sure…you know what I mean between you and me…well it feels different anyway.”
“Oh?” She asked tipping her head on one side and peering up at him through those thick lashes again a half smile on her beautiful lips.
“You know dang well,” he said suddenly exasperated, “how we are…together…tonight.”
“And so, how are we?” She asked now teasing him and giving him a bold look.
Jess could bear it no longer…he had to kiss her…he just had to.
He leaned in taking her pretty heart shaped face in his hands, he slowly…oh so slowly moved in, until their lips were just gently grazing each other, then he pulled back. The intensity in his dark blue eyes thrilling to the young Millie, then he once more leaned in and this time took possession of her lips making it clear as to what he would like to do next.
After a few minutes he pulled back and looked deeply into her dazed expression, “I… I didn’t know,” he faltered, “I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to?”
She gave him a tiny smile, “Oh I wanted you to alright” her brave words hiding her nervousness and inexperience.
He smiled down at her, “Millie…I…”
Just then the barn door crashed open and Francie ran out looking distraught, “Jess come quick, it’s Pa he’s collapsed.”
Jess cussed softly under his breath, “Sure he has,” he muttered.
“Jess please,” wailed Francie, “Come on!”
Jess flicked a glance at Millie, “Go on,” she said quickly, “they need you….”
He nodded grimly, “I’m sorry,” and then squeezing her hand turned abruptly and followed Francie back into the barn.
His Pa was out cold on the floor, Wade and his Ma leaning over him looking anxious and a wide circle of bystanders viewing the events with interest. Some sharing his Ma’s concern and others looking on cynically a knowing look in their eyes, Harper had over imbibed yet again.
Jess reached for a pitcher of lemonade on a nearby table and emptied the contents over his Pa’s face and a moment later he came to cussing and coughing as he looked around him in ill-disguised bewilderment.
“Git his other arm Wade,” Jess growled taking charge of the proceedings and a moment later they hauled him up and carried him off home, Francie and his Ma following on shamefacedly.
When they got back Jess and Wade unceremoniously chucked their Pa on his bed whilst his Ma turned to their good neighbour who had been babysitting the little ones... “Thank you Janie I appreciate you sitting in.”
The elderly woman threw her friend a concerned glance, “He’s been tipping the jug again then?”
Ada Harper just nodded, looking totally defeated and sinking onto the chair opposite.
“Why don’t you just leave him honey, move on…huh?”
She looked even more dispirited, “How Janie…with all these kids…how do I manage that….at least we’ve a roof over our heads.”
Jess who had been hovering in the doorway took a pace forwards, “Ma, are you OK?”
She looked up and called him over and he ran to her and hunkered down beside her chair, “Why dontcha go Ma, us ‘uns will be OK, me and Francie can watch the young ’uns…...just go for a break from him at least.”
Ada looked at her middle son the light of love in her tired eyes, “I can’t leave you boy. Or the others, never, but thankee for the thought, you’re a good boy, more than I deserve.”
Jess looked down his face angry, “I could kill him for what he puts you through,” he muttered. And those words were to come back and haunt him in the weeks to come.
It was the following Monday before Jess saw Millie again.
She caught up with him as he was mooching down the road to school.
“Hey I didn’t expect to see you today,” she said throwing him her charming smile, “Your Pa not keeping you home to work?”
“Still sleepin’ it off,” he muttered.
Jess turned and really looked at her properly. She wore the same old worn dress with the clean white pinafore over it. The same polished boots, her hair neatly tied with a ribbon band, but again cascading freely down her back, her figure even in the loose-fitting dress, suddenly appearing wonderfully shapely and her eyes when she looked into his, teasing and slightly knowing.
“Hey what’s up Jess, have I got dirt on my nose?” she asked as he continued to stare at her intently.
He leaned across and ran a gentle finger down her nose, “Nope it’s perfect,” he said with a grin.
“Well then…” she asked her head on one side and eyebrows raised, “what?”
“You,” he said softly, still looking raptly at her, “When did ya grow up and get so dang pretty?”
She looked down and flushed deeply before looking back up into his eyes, “Jess, this won’t change anything will it…all that kissin’ an’ all…I mean we can still be best friends, can’t we?”
“Hey…sure, sure we can, why not?”
“Oh, I don’t know, it’s Ginny I suppose, she has all these boyfriends and then when they split up…they never speak again, I just couldn’t bear that.”
He looked deeply concerned, “Hell me neither Millie, maybe we should just stay best friends who kinda like to kiss every so often…huh, so how would that be?”
“Umm I guess that would work,” she said with a little giggle and then leaning forwards kissed him gently on the lips before pulling back and laughing again, “Come on, we’ll be late, catch me if you can,” and she darted off at speed Jess tearing after her both carefree young ‘uns again.
It was the following Saturday that tragedy struck….
It was dusk and Pa Johnson was locking up the chickens when he smelled burning. He looked up and saw a plume of smoke snaking up into the cool evening air just beyond the ridge at the back of the house then he heard distant shouts and gunshots. Moments later he was joined by his wife and young Millie.
“What’s going on Pa?” Millie asked, looking at the darkening cloud of smoke rising up beyond the ridge.
“Looks like there’s trouble over at the Harper place,” her Pa said looking anxious and running to where his horse was tethered by the corral. Millie went to follow him but he stopped her.
“No, you stay here with your Ma, Tad and Ginny,” he said quickly, “It sounds like there’s some bad stuff going on over there.”
Then he turned to his wife, “Stay inside honey and lock the door, don’t open up until I’m home again …OK?”
By the time Mr Johnson arrived a small crowd of neighbours and town’s folk were already gathered there desperately trying to douse the flames but it was obvious it was too late. The building just a mere skeleton….
The crowd was illuminated by a huge moon now and the deathly red glow from the fire and Mr Johnson could just make out Francie being comforted by some friends, Wade looking on at the ruined shack in horror. Jess was being held back by his Uncle Seth and a neighbour as he desperately tried to get back into the burning building to save his kin.
Of Mr and Mrs Harper and the youngest children there was no sign.
Johnson dismounted and went across immediately and it was clear Jess had been in the fire. His clothes singed and stinking of smoke. His hands and feet burnt, although he seemed not to notice as he struggled to get free…yelling over and over, “Let me go…fer God’s sake let me go!”
Mr Johnson stepped forwards and grabbed the boy by the shoulders turning him around so he was forced to look at the older man, “It’s over Jess…its over boy, they’re gone,” he cried.
Jess just stared at him in horror, before turning back to look at the smouldering building his face a study of despair as the truth of it finally dawned on him…they were all dead…his Ma and Pa and the young ‘uns all dead…and he collapsed to his knees.
Mr Johnson was all set to take the boy home with him, heck offer him a roof over his head for as long as was needed…He was a good kid and his Millie adored him, he knew that. Once he had calmed the kid some he had turned away to check on Francie and Wade. On finding out they were both being attended to by close family friends he turned back to Jess to take him home but he had vanished….
*******
It was Millie who finally found him the following day.
When her Pa had returned with the news that the Bannister Gang had raided the area burning all the share farmers homes to the ground, including the Harper shack, Millie and her Ma had dissolved in tears, Millie almost hysterical until her Pa reassured her that although Jess was burned, he was alive.
“Why…why did he run off that way Pa?” She cried later as he was tucking her up for the night.
Mr Johnson shook his head, “You know Jess, he’s always been a kinda independent kid, never accepts help from anyone. And I guess part of him is like a hurt wild thing, just wants to lay low and lick his wounds. But he’ll be back sweetheart, and I promise you he is welcome here for as long as he wants.”
“Thanks Pa and I’ll find him,” she said sleepy now. “I know where to look I’ll find him and bring him home.”}

“And you did didn’t you Millie? Find me that is,” Jess said now, still holding her little hand…so cool and unmoving.
“I was holed up at our den out by the creek just the way you knew I would be,” he whispered.
“You came real early, just as dawn was breaking and found me in that hollow under the big pine. Shook me awake and you looked at me with such love…such compassion Mill. You didn’t say a word just looked at me and then held me real close. I guess I knew then I loved you, that I always would,” he sighed.
“Then we talked. It was when I told you about Ma and the babies cryin’ out for me that you broke down and cried.”
He sighed deeply, “I didn’t, not for a long while Millie. I couldn’t cry I was just too dang angry I guess. My heart so full of hate all I wanted to do was ride out and kill those bastards. I’d got my gun and old Patch too both safe in the barn so I had me a pony and a weapon and I figured that was all I needed. I had to go Mill….do ya understand…I just had to,” he said shaking his head sadly.
“But when I rode out that morning the look in your eyes near broke my heart.”
He’d been looking down at her hand all the time he’d been speaking and now he glanced back up at her pale fragile looking face …and saw it…one solitary tear running down her cheek.

Chapter 5
“Millie…Mill…can ya hear me sweetheart?”
But she remained completely still and impassive.
Jess tore from the hospital room yelling for Sam….
“Sam…Carrie…where in hell is he…. Sam …. Sam!”
The study door was flung open and Sam and Carrie rushed out.
“What is it Jess….is she alright?” Carrie asked looking anxious.
Meanwhile her Pa strode down the corridor to his patient and was looking down at her, checking her pulse when Jess and Carrie entered seconds later.
Sam looked across at them and shook his head sadly, “No change….”
“There is, look Sam she’s cryin’. I was talking about the fire and then she started to cry it must prove that she can hear me, understand what I’m sayin’…dang it can’t you see that?” Jess asked in exasperation.
The doctor sighed deeply. “Carrie has been putting drops in her eyes, the dehydration is making them dry and painful maybe, it was just to ease them…I think that’s what you saw.”
Jess sank down on the bedside chair then he looked back up at Sam, “No I don’t buy that…she can hear me I just know she can.”
“It was a while since I administered the drops Pa, maybe Jess is right she is crying?”
But her Pa just shook his head sadly and left the room, patting Jess’s arm as he passed.
Jess and Carrie exchanged a glance.
“Don’t give up hope,” she whispered and leaning down she kissed him tenderly on the forehead before she too left the room.
Once they were alone again he took Millie’s hand and squeezed it gently.
“Don’t you pay no mind to ol’ Sam there,” he said softly, “what does he know huh? Millie, do you remember when we met the next time, when I came back just before I signed up for the Confederacy huh…that was kinda special wasn’t it.”

Jess had been on the drift for over a year seeking the Bannister gang all the time hearing rumours of war almost every place he landed and he knew it would only be a matter of time before he signed up. Too much had happened already to be ignored and he had to stand up for what he believed in.
Those dang Bannisters will keep he thought bitterly, knowing he’d got nowhere near finding them yet. It was like seeking the proverbial needle in a dang haystack he said to himself.
Maybe it would be good for him too. He’d maybe make some good buddies, a free uniform, new boots and 11 dollars a month. But first he had to go back home, check Francie was OK and see Millie…try and explain how he felt about her.
He decided he didn’t need the full onslaught of the Johnson family all fussin’ and frettin’ about him, lovely though they were. Nope for his first encounter with Millie, after he had ridden out on that fateful day, he needed to see her alone.
He decided to waylay her on her way home from school, if she was still attending he thought suddenly. She had turned fourteen now and might well be staying home to help her Ma with all the chores. Shucks at just fifteen he had only attending because his Ma had insisted he tried to catch up with all he’d missed.
Now he waited near the road from town at the turn off for the creek and their old den. Would she come? His heart was in his mouth as he waited for her.
After a while he heard voices and slipping down from the saddle he stood squinting into the afternoon sun at the two figures making their way slowly down the road.
Then his heart leapt with joy, Millie and Tad, “Thank God,” he whispered.
Tad was overjoyed to see his buddy Jess, who he thought of as a big brother and came running down the road yelling a welcome and grinning from ear to ear.
He pumped Jess’s hand and jumped around with all the exuberance of a typical nine-year-old.
Jess looked beyond him to where Millie stood stock still just staring at him, her eyes huge and her expression unfathomable.
Their gaze locked and after a moment she came forwards and without shifting her contemplation of those deep blue eyes she said quietly, “Get off home Tad.”
“Huh…but I wanna talk with Jess.”
“Go on,” Jess said throwing a gentle punch to Tad’s arm, “git out of here. I’ll see ya later OK?”
“OK Jess, see ya,” and the good natured child ran off down the road leaving Jess and Millie together.
“You came back,” she said finally…her expression still unreadable.
He nodded and then looked at her more closely, “I thought you’d be glad to see me?”
That was when she finally broke down, the tears running down her face as she ran into his outstretched arms, “Of course I am you idiot,” she cried.
Later once they were settled down in their old den by the creek she said softly.
“I really didn’t think I’d ever see you again Jess. I thought …well if you really took on the Bannisters,” she looked up at him then from where they were both hunkered down in the hollow of the pine, “I thought you’d be dead by now.”
“Ain’t found ‘em yet,” Jess growled, “and I guess you’re right I don’t have much chance of downing ‘em all. I know that fer sure, but I’ve gotta try Mill, you must see that I’ve gotta try for Ma’s sake and the babies.”
That was when she really cried and he held her close.
It was when he finally kissed her she knew that he had changed irrevocably. Gone was the gentle almost hesitant kiss of a young boy…and in its place the confident and somehow almost alarming kiss of a man.
She pulled back frowning slightly and he pulled away also, his eyebrows arched in question.
“You’re…you’re different Jesse,” she said eventually, suddenly reverting to the use of his old childhood name.
“Jess,” he said firmly, “it’s Jess now.”
She nodded absently, “Where did you learn to kiss that way?”
He looked down and flushed slightly, before meeting her innocent gaze, “Dontcha like it?”
“I never said that…it’s just different; like you know what you’re doing I guess, it’s kinda scary…”
“Huh? I scare ya,” he asked looking skeptical, “Since when have you ever been scared of anything Millie? Certainly not me,” he said the questioning eyebrow again shooting upwards…
“No, you don’t understand,” she said quickly, “it’s how it makes me feel that’s scary. I dunno, like I’m suddenly hurtling along out of control, like maybe I’m going to do something I…well I really shouldn’t…” When he failed to reply or even look at her, she said softly, “You’ve been with a woman haven’t you Jesse…Jess?”
How could he answer her…tell her the truth….and he cast his mind back to just last month.
He had been on the drift for over a year, still hunting the Bannister gang and he had anger and bitterness in his young sixteen-year-old heart when he rode into yet another Texas town.
And was it a dump, talk about one horse town. It was early evening and as Jess had made his way down the street heading for the livery he passed an old dog asleep in the middle of the road, and grinned to himself, yep this sure was a lively old town.
He just had enough money to put up his horse for the night and once this was done he mooched off back down the street wondering where he was going to find the money for a square meal.
He peered into the saloon hoping that they might take pity on him and offer some bar work, but the landlord looked a miserable old sod to Jess’s eyes and so he took himself off round the back thinking maybe the kitchen staff might be more approachable.
As he turned into the small yard behind the saloon he saw her…one of the most beautiful women he had seen in his young life. She was sitting out on the back step smoking a cigarette, inhaling deeply, the smoke making a blue halo around her abundant rich auburn tresses that curled seductively around her shoulders, and then Jess’s eyes roamed down south to her ample cleavage, shown off to great advantage by the low cut yellow dress she was wearing.
“You lookin’ or buyin’ honey,” she drawled, and Jess was suddenly startled out of his reverie and dragging his eyes up, he finally looked into amused violet eyes.
“Huh?”
“I said are you…oh never mind, what can I do for you kid?”
“I ain’t a kid,” said Jess angrily, “I’m nearly seventeen!”
“Oh, that old,” she said with a little chuckle, then straightening her face said, “so what can I do for you sir?”
Jess knew when he was having his leg pulled and he grinned back at the woman, “Jess,” he said, “Jess Harper, Ma’am,” touching his hat to her.
“Well then Jess Harper, you may call me Ginny,” she said, taking a liking to this polite, if rather scrawny young man.
“Well, I was looking for some work…er Ginny, to pay for a meal and maybe a bed for the night.”
She looked at him speculatively, “so when did you last eat Jess?” she said her tone now soft, all the teasing gone.
Jess tried to think, but it was hard, he was feeling light headed with hunger and had a nagging pain in his empty belly.
“I guess I ate…two, or maybe three days ago.”
She stood up and quickly stubbing out the cigarette took a pace towards him and grabbed his arm as Jess swayed slightly.
“You really are running on empty ain’t you honey,” she said in her Texan drawl, “come along in k… Jess and I’ll rustle you up some left overs, won’t be in need of payment for that.”
“Thank you Ma’am,” said Jess sincerely and followed the woman inside.
She seated him at the kitchen table and then went about the business of dishing up a large plate of chicken and dumplings, followed by apple pie, the lot washed down with a tankard of strong cider.
“This sure is a good meal for left overs,” he said grinning at her as he eventually cleared his plate.
“Well, truth be known it was the boss’s supper, but he’s way too fat, so guess you’ve done him a favour.”
Then she noticed that Jess’s eyes were heavy and whether from fatigue or the strong drink she wasn’t sure, but she knew it wouldn’t be a good idea for the landlord to find him down there, and so she gently took his arm, “come on Hon I’ll show you where to can bed down.”
Jess followed her up some steep steps and into a small attic room furnished with a large double bed and little else apart from a screen in the corner and a small chest of draws bearing a night light.
“You’ll be safe enough in here, just lie low and don’t answer the door to anyone,” and with that she was gone.
Jess surveyed the scene before him, the large bed with a lamp on the chest beside it dimly illuminating the shabby, but clean room. He stripped down to his undershorts, wondering vaguely where Ginny would sleep if this was her room, but suddenly exhaustion over took him and he fell down on the comfortable soft bed and was asleep in seconds.
It was much later when something awoke him and he was aware that he was not alone and was just about to reach for his gun, the belt slung across the bed head, when he saw Ginny, dimly illuminated, just emerging from behind the screen, dressed in a flimsy, low cut white nightdress.
Jess stayed stock still, sucked in a deep breath and held it, could he be dreaming, but no the soft body that had just slipped into the bed beside him was real enough.
He suddenly realised he was still holding his breath and gaping at her… he let it go and said uncertainly, “Ginny…?”
“That’s me Honey”, she whispered, “did I wake you?”
“No…er yes I mean, but that’s OK.”

“Well good……. and seeing as how you’re awake now how about a little cuddle?” she said running a finger seductively down his naked torso.
Jess trembled and felt a spasm of desire as his heart started hammering in his chest and he just stared up at her, making no move.
“Hey, Hon, your shaking,” she said softly, and then a slow smile spread across her face, “you ain’t done it before have you?” she said gently.
Jess continued to stare at her, what did he say, if he told the truth he was in danger of being laughed at, but there again if he lied, well he figured she’d find out what a novice he was before too long, eventually he decided to er on the side of truth.
“Well, I’ve kissed a lot of girls and fooled about and stuff…but… well……all the way? No,” he finished lamely.
“Well I guess that ain’t nothin’ to be embarrassed about” she said smiling deep into his eyes, “you’re only a young pup yet….”
Jess felt a spurt of anger again, but decided to let it go, and instead parried with, “well, how old are you then?”
She gave a little chuckle, “Rule number one, is a gentleman never asks a lady her age…but seein’ as how it’s you I’ll tell you, I’ve just turned twenty-five.”
“Wow,” whistled Jess, his first time and with an older woman.
“Now I’ll tell you what I’m going to do,” she said, not unkindly, “I’m going to teach you how to pleasure a woman and that way, well I can guarantee you’ll never go without, because if there is one thing a woman likes it is a man who looks out for her, thinks of her pleasure as well as his own, you get my drift Jessie?” she asked cocking a perfectly arched eyebrow.
He just nodded, drinking in her every word, her perfume making him feel lightheaded and her closeness having a profound effect on his body.
“I’ll tell you, in my line of business I very rarely meet a man who knows what he’s doing, and so I guess if I teach you everything I know I’ll be doing a few women out there a good turn.”
“Line of business?” asked Jess looking mystified,

“Oh dear, you really are an innocent one aren’t you, I’m a working girl sweetheart
“What,” yelped Jess, shocked to the core, “you mean yer a hooker?”
“Well, yes, if you like, but I prefer the term working girl, a bit classier, you know?”
Jess suddenly shook his head sadly, “I can’t pay yer Ma’am, I’m sorry…I…”
“Hush,” she whispered, leaning in, so that her soft breath caressed his cheek, “I ain’t askin’ for payment Honey, this is all on the house and it will be a pleasure”.
Then she leaned up on her elbow and gently brushed his black hair back from his forehead, “and cute, real cute with those deep, deep blue eyes,” she said with a little sigh. And with that she leaned down and brushed her lips gently across his, her sweet tasting mouth sending shock waves of desire through the young cowboy’s body.
“Come here,” she said seductively, “and I’ll show you how to pleasure a woman real good,” and Jess took her in his arms and kissed her passionately, all fear and nervousness gone as he held her close and his natural instincts took over.
Afterwards she had stretched like a languid cat, “oh that was real good,” she drawled, “real good and remember Jess, one rule…a gentleman never tells, you got that Honey, what goes on between a man and a woman stays there, you understand?”
“I understand,” he said softly, and it was a rule he never forgot and never broke.
He had stayed with Ginny for a week and she did indeed teach him everything she knew, ‘every trick in the book.’ she had said laughing, and a few that weren’t in the book too and Jess’s confidence and well-being had never been so high. He felt like a million dollars when he finally rode out of town continuing his quest for the Bannister gang. He also felt a deep sadness at leaving the beautiful woman but knew he could play no part in her life and as the days had gone on the torment of her being with other men meant Jess could eventually stay no longer. But he never forgot Ginny and what she had taught him and he never told another living soul about it either.

Now he finally looked at Millie and nodded almost imperceptibility….
“Her name was Ginny,” he said softly like your sister. But I won’t be seeing her again Millie. She…she was kinda special I guess but I can’t talk about her, ever,” he sighed again looking down before meeting her shocked gaze.
“But she wasn’t you. And we didn’t have what we do…”
“Which is?” she asked her voice now trembling, tears close once more.
“She ain’t the best darned friend I’ve got in the whole world. And you are…And no matter what we do together, what we are to each other…where ever we are…even if we’re far apart…that’ll never change… not for me at least,” he whispered.
“Me too,” she finally replied and he held her close as the tears fell once more.
“Don’t grow up too fast and leave me behind Jess,” she whispered.
But he knew in his heart it was too late. He had a war to fight and a debt to settle and he couldn’t expect Millie to be any part of that. He’d ride out within the week he decided.

“Then we went back to your place and your old Ma fussed and fretted over me…. do you recall that Millie?”He asked looking down at the now almost grey face of his love. “She said I was just skin an’ bone and needed feeding up some.”

Just like Millie looked now. Jeez he thought I hope Ma Johnson gets home soon. Why had it to be at this time that she was on an extended visit back east with the now married Tad? Maybe that’s what Millie needed, her dear Ma’s kindly, comforting presence.
He took her hand again….
“Then I rode out just a week later and near broke your heart again didn’t I Millie? I’m so dang sorry. I guess I was just so young…. so darned angry…It would never have worked iffen I’d stayed like your Pa wanted. I had to go and fight the war…hunt down the Bannisters…But I hurt ya real bad leavin’ that way I know that now and I’m truly sorry Millie.”
Did he hear the very faint whisper of a sigh…or was it just his imagination?

Chapter 6
It was on the third day that Slim visited….
Many folk had asked to see her but Sam had turned them all away, believing that Millie’s only chance remained with Jess…if he could just get through to her he thought maybe she would have a chance. He had told all the well-wishers that she was too sick for visitors, which in a way was true. But he also wanted Jess to be the one constant in her current predicament…just hoping against hope that some miracle would happen if he spent time talking and trying to engage her.
It was Sam himself who answered Slim’s knock on the door and hurried him through to the study showing him to a comfortable chair and offering coffee.
Slim shook his head, “I got your message Sam, so is she worse? Then he turned pale, “hell she’s not….”
“No,” Sam said quickly, “she’s still with us…just, but there is no improvement and I’m worried Slim really worried.”
“You don’t think she’ll make it?”
The doctor shook his head sadly, “Not much of a chance. She’s fading fast…can’t swallow liquids, it’s just a matter of time before her body starts shutting down Slim.”
Slim gave a low whistle and ran a hand distractedly through his hair, before looking intently at his friend, “How’s Jess taking it?”
Sam shook his head, “He refuses to believe me, reckons she’s going to wake up anytime now. He believes she was crying when he was talking about the fire…but she wasn’t Slim and the same with this sighing he reckons he’s heard, it’s just her breathing…nothing more…he’s seeing these things because he wants to.”
“What do you want me to do Sam?”
It was the older man’s turn to look abstracted now as he shook his head vaguely, “I really don’t know, try and convince him maybe…prepare him for the worst…help him to let go maybe?”
“You’re not asking much then,” said Slim sarcastically, “this is Jess we’re talking about, he’ll never give up on her, never.”
Sam looked down exhaling a long breath as though forcing himself to relax before shaking his head sadly, “I guess you’re right. But maybe you could have a word with him, get him to take a break at least, eat something. He’s had nothing but coffee since he arrived Slim, he’s going to get sick too if we don’t take him in hand.”
“I’ll try.”
“Hey Millie, look what the dang cat’s dragged in,” Jess said turning to her statue like face before grinning up at his pard.
Slim just stared in consternation. First at Millie’s apparently lifeless form the dark bruising to her pale face slowly beginning to fade but none the less still quite shocking, then he turned his gaze on his buddy and almost flinched. Jess looked pretty much as bad as he’d ever seen him, drawn and edgy, the cheerful greeting and smile in obvious conflict with his true feelings. He was pale and ill looking. So thin as to almost look emaciated dark stubble doing little to improve his appearance along with the dusty old trail gear he still wore.
“Hey buddy, you’re a mess,” the words out before Slim even stopped to think.
Jess just glared at him, “Yeah, well I was on my way to clean up after the drive when it happened, I washed up some…but didn’t have any clean stuff.”
Slim just nodded, wishing he could bite back the words, but turned back to peer down at Millie again. Sam was right there was no coming back from this, he thought.
“How is she?” he asked finally.
Jess looked back at his girl, “Just fine, gettin’ stronger every day I guess. I thought maybe she could come to the ranch for a spell Slim, once she’s over this, git some of Daisy’s good cooking down her and get her really well again huh?”
“Jess…pard….” said Slim his voice thick with emotion.
“Huh, what?” he asked turning his enquiring gaze on Slim.
“The doc thinks…well thinks she might not make it…and I…”
“Shut up!” Jess yelled. He jumped up from the bedside and physically shoving Slim in the general direction of the door, “Just get the hell out iffen that’s all you’ve got to say.”
“Jess, hear me out at least…OK…. have it your own way…maybe she is getting stronger but you sure as hell aren’t. Now will you at least take a break, get some of Ma Braddock’s good rabbit stew down you huh. Because you’re sure not going to be any help to Millie here if you get sick too.”
Carrie came by a few minutes later and along with Slim she was finally able to persuade Jess to take some time out whilst she watched the patient.
Mrs Braddock the housekeeper was away for the afternoon but had left a stew in the oven for the family and Slim dished some out and sat his partner down at the kitchen table, taking the seat opposite.
He watched Jess as he picked up a fork and took a mouthful but after a few minutes he gagged and looked like he might throw up. He put his fork down and pushed the plate away.
“I can’t Slim…I just can’t swallow anything,” he said gruffly.
Slim shook his head viewing his friend with concerned eyes, before removing the plate and replacing it with a coffee cup.
“OK Pard have a drink though OK?”
Jess just nodded and sipped his coffee.
Slim poured himself a drink and then after taking a sip peered at his partner over the rim of his cup wondering how on earth he could get through to him. Make him see his mission was impossible…poor Millie looked like she wouldn’t even last the night, Slim sighed.
Jess drank his coffee and then frowned at Slim, “You don’t believe we’re goin’ to get through this do you Slim?”
The blond cowboy looked down into the depths of his cup for a full minute before replying, “You believe it pard I know that, but Sam really doesn’t think she’s got a chance and I think maybe you should face up to that buddy, say goodbye to her.”
The reply was so long in coming Slim thought he had chosen to ignore him. But then he finally answered.
“Can’t do that Slim; see I can’t lose her…. I just can’t,” and with that he stood up staggering for a moment before clutching the table righting himself and moving unsteadily to the door.
“Where in hell are you going?” yelled Slim suddenly angry, the fear and pain he was feeling for his buddy translated as anger.
“To sit with my girl an’ I’m stayin’ there until she wakes up,” he yelled back before barging out of the room.
A few minutes later Carrie entered and found Slim with his head in his hands.
“Slim…what is it?” she asked gently.
He sighed deeply, “My partner that’s what, no talking any sense into him I guess.”
“He’s really mad at you…me…. everyone I reckon. But it’s hard for him you know Slim…really hard.”
“I know that Carrie I just hate to see him hurting this way, that’s all. Does your Pa really not hold out any hope for Millie?”
She shrugged, “He says where there’s life there is always hope.”
“How are you coping?” asked Slim solicitously, knowing what good friends Millie and Carrie had become over the years.
She suddenly looked very young and vulnerable, her usual nurse’s cloak of professionalism dropped, “Oh Slim, I feel terrible,” she said honestly, “Seeing poor dear Millie that way.”
“And Jess?” asked Slim perceptively, knowing how close Jess and she were.
She looked down and flushed a little, “I hate to see him hurting so much, it reminds me of the first time I ever saw him.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, Pa and I had not long moved here when I saw him for the first time.It was at his fiancée’s funeral. Pa and I were staying with friends before our move to the town where Pa hoped to be the new Doctor, do you remember?”
Slim nodded, “I remember yes, old Doc Johnson introduced your Pa to me that day.”
“Um, well these friends, like the entire town, were going to pay their last respects to Maria and although we didn’t know the couple we were invited too.”
“I guess the whole town wanted to say goodbye to her in style,” Slim said softly, “she was very much loved by everyone who met her and Jess held in real high regard too. Everyone was so angry and upset about it. To be struck down so dang young,” and he shook his head remembering that dark time.
“I know,” Carrie agreed, “I saw a likeness of her she was so beautiful.”
“Watching the dignified way he carried himself that day. The sight of him standing at the graveside holding young Mike’s hand, their heads bowed in sorrow it had a deep effect on me and I think I fell in love with him at that moment,” she said softly turning sad eyes to Slim.
He nodded knowing the close and sometimes difficult relationship she had always had with Jess, saying she loved him at just fifteen. Although Jess had made sure she had no encouragement from him. Then when she was older they had once more become involved with each other, but again Jess had backed off and sent her away saying he was too old for her and not worthy. Carrie had gone back East to Midwifery College and on her return, Jess was deeply involved with Millie and she had accepted the situation. Now they were just good, close friends. At least that was what Slim had always thought. But now he wasn’t so sure.
“Carrie,” he asked looking concerned, “are you OK? All this business, you say it’s brought back memories?”
“Memories and feelings too Slim if I’m honest, although I’d never tell him or anyone else but you,” she said casting him a rueful look.
“Go on,” he said quietly, instinctively knowing she needed someone to talk to.
She sighed and then said, “It’s just seeing him this way, so angry and yet so vulnerable. I just want to hold him make everything better and yes Slim, there is a little part of me that is still in love with him…but nobody will ever know that…nobody except you,” she said with the ghost of a smile.
“Come here Carrie,” he said gently and she ran into his arms and he held her close as she wept, for her friend, for the man she loved and for what might have been.
“It’ll be our secret and no one will ever hear it from me,” he said sincerely.
Meanwhile back in the sickroom Jess had settled back down beside Millie feeling, what? Mad at everyone, the whole goddamn world for not sharing his belief that Millie would make it through.
But it was more than that, he was mad at himself too. Like he had been from the get go. Why had he stayed so dang long jawing’ with old Bert and fussin’ over Traveller? Then again why had he decided to go clean up before callin’ in on Millie? Garldarn it a bit of trail dirt had never bothered her in the past, why did he have to be so dang particular that evening? He went over and over the terrible events again and again…wishing fervently that it had all been different.

Chapter 7
What did any of it matter he finally decided, what was important was Millie and her getting better and the part he felt he was destined to play in that. Hadn’t ol’ Sam said himself, ‘talk to her Jess…that could bring her back.’
So that was what he was dang well gonna do although even now he could feel his throat protesting at the continual monologue, his deep voice even more raspy and gravelly than usual.
“OK where were we then sweetheart,” he continued, as though he was just chatting about day to day occurrences that might interest her to some degree.
“I went off and enlisted and I figure you thought that was the dumbest thing I’d ever done, but I had to Millie and it wasn’t it really wasn’t. But I guess after what happened to you and your folks you figured that out for yourself huh?”
“I couldn’t believe it when I rode back down to Texas…you know the devastation, death and decay. But heck that was nuthin’ as to what I found when I landed home to our town after the war…

Everything looked different, Jess hardly recognized the place. Farmsteads and ranches burnt to the ground, and crops left to rot in the fields as the men folk were off fighting or killed trying to defend their property and kin.
The nearer he got to town the more feeling of deep dread washed over him, making his mouth dry and his stomach churn in fear. Francie, Millie and her family were uppermost in his mind, along with families and friends he had known as a child. School friends and neighbours the Union soldiers had showed no mercy to. Many of them dead or badly injured. Every household with a story to tell….
He stopped at the Bennett’s place just outside town to find his sister, the kind elderly couple having taken Francie in after the fire, but the house was razed to the ground. Nothing left save the cook stove standing proud amongst the burnt relics of the house and bizarrely a bright fragment of yellow dress caught amongst the debris flapping gently in the breeze, attracting Jess’s attention. He swallowed hard nearly throwing up as he recognised the material…Francie’s Sunday best dress.
“No…oh Jesus no,” he whispered and he sank to his knees in utter despair.
It was sometime later that he felt a firm hand on his shoulder and turning he looked up into the kindly old face of one Walter Lee a neighbour and old friend of his Pa’s.
“Jesse…Jesse boy that you?” he asked, barely recognizing the lean, world weary looking figure, as the son of his best friend.
Jess pulled himself up from where he had been kneeling and offered a hand to the old man.
“Mister Lee, good to see ya,” he said quietly, then tipped his hat to the burnt out homestead, “Union work?”
The old timer nodded, “Yup, thank God Mary and John Bennet never lived to see this carnage,” he said bitterly, casting a sad glance around the house and surrounding land.
“Huh, they didn’t?”
“No boy, they were killed, in a terrible accident in their buckboard, just after the start of the War.”
Jess swallowed hard, trying to form the words he had to ask, but for several moments unable to speak, before he finally whispered, “Francie…was she killed too?”
“Francie, huh? Oh yeah, your sis, no boy rest easy, she was at home here when the accident happened.”
“So…so what happened to her?” Jess asked his eyes constantly returning to that little fragment of bright cloth waving so merrily in the breeze.
“Oh bless you son, she ain’t dead,” the old man said following Jess’s gaze, “Your Uncle Seth came for her. He said he was gonna look out for her, but he had a mighty odd way of lookin’ out fer a young girl to my mind. Came and took her off real quick after the accident, she didn’t even have time to pack up all her stuff, it got burnt when the soldiers struck I reckon.”
Jess’s emotions were on a roller-coaster, one minute believing his sister to be dead in a dreadful accident…then killed by soldiers…now saved, but dang it by Uncle Seth? What was that old harridan up to Jess now wondered…no good he was darned sure. His Uncle had lit out refusing to help after the fire, pleading poverty. So, for him to have come forwards now…well there must have been something in it for him.
“Where is Uncle Seth living now?” he asked, knowing that his shack was hardly the place to bring up a then 15-year-old girl. It was tiny with just the one room that saw the purpose of both bedroom and living room.
Old Walter Lee looked decidedly uncomfortable, “Oh he never actually gave her a home as such but found her a living in job and I figure he took some of her wages as well, told her he’d keep ‘em safe for her”.
“I’ll bet he did,” Jess growled, now getting good and mad, “Where is the old bastard and where’s she workin’ huh?”
“Old Seth, he skipped town at the first sign of trouble with rumours the Union were marching this way. Young Francie left the job after that, hi tailed it off that I do know for a fact. But I don’t know where boy. See I only got back a week or so ago still catchin’ up on all the news myself.”
“Where was she working?” Jess asked, “Maybe they’d know where she went.”
The old man shrugged looking uncomfortable again, “Possible, can’t rightly say…last I heard the place had closed down Jess.”
“What place where in hell was she working?” asked Jess getting kinda impatient at the old man’s reluctance to say more.
“The Golden Gate, she was workin’ the bar there last I heard.”
“What that whorehouse?” Jess exploded looking furious, “Seth got her a job there?”
The old man just nodded, “But she was only waitin’ on serving’ the drinks, so I heard.”
“Umm, it’d only have been a matter of time before she was forced into it though,” Jess said bitterly.
“She only lasted a few weeks, or so I believe Jess, before she ran away.”
Then he frowned, “Maybe the Johnson’s would know, Francie, Ginny and young Millie were buddies, weren’t they?”
Jess was running for his horse almost before old Walter had finished speaking. Calling his thanks over his shoulder he set his mount in the direction of the Johnson spread riding off at speed.
When he arrived, he was again shocked by the devastation in the area, the usually well cared for land looking barren and abandoned, but at least the Johnson shack was still standing.
He leapt down from his horse and hammered on the front door and after a moment Mrs Johnson pulled it open and stared blankly at the young man before her.
He was dressed in a dirty old army shirt, denims coated in trail dust and a dark Stetson pulled down low. His clothes hung on his gaunt frame and he looked as though a puff of wind would blow him over she thought absently.
Assuming he was begging for food, or maybe looking for work she opened her mouth to send him away, unable to help him. But there was something familiar about him…then she looked up into those deep blue, haunted eyes.
“Jesse…Jesse Harper,” she cried in shock. “Oh my, come along in my dear, come in.”
Jess gratefully entered the small neat shack and sank down at the kitchen table as Peggy Johnson busied herself with the coffee pot, cutting him a wedge of pie and moving the plate and cup towards him before she sat down opposite.
“Please tell me Ma’am, have you seen or heard of Francie?” He asked ignoring the food and drink and staring fearfully into her kind open face.
“Why my dear she’s quite safe, living here with me and the children, have no fears boy, we’ve looked after her like she was kin,” she persisted when she saw Jess looking so distressed.
“Thank God,” he whispered and then looking his old neighbour in the face, “thank you Mrs Johnson that means so much to me. And Millie, he said softly, is she OK too?”
The middle aged lady beamed at him then, her tired face suddenly lit up, “Oh she’s just fine my dear and will be that excited to see you. You can stay a while?”
Jess nodded and said through the mouthful of pie he was now enjoying, “You bet Ma’am…thanks.”
Once the coffee cup had been drained and replenished he looked properly at Peggy Johnson and was shocked to see how she had aged. Her hair now showing strands of grey and her eyes revealing a sadness he had never seen in them before.
“And you Ma’am,” he said politely, “How was the war for you and Mister Johnson? The old place is lookin’ kind of…in need of some work,” he continued diplomatically. “Maybe I could help him get it back in shape while I’m here?”
To his surprise her brown eyes welled up with unshed tears and he looked on in consternation, “Mrs Johnson, Ma’am, what is it?” He asked gently.
She said nothing for a moment and then taking a deep breath said, “My John didn’t make it through the war I’m afraid my dear.”
Jess was stunned, “No,” he whispered then taking her hand across the table said, “Dang it Mrs Johnson, I’m so very sorry, your husband was a fine man.”
Then the tears flowed relentlessly down her cheeks, unheeded as she told the story. She recounted how they had heard the soldiers were advancing and John had insisted on going out with other town’s folk to try and head them off, giving the women and children time to escape or hide. The Johnson’s and Francie had hidden in the root cellar until the danger had passed.
Jess bowed his head feeling pretty close to tears himself. He’d been a good, kind man and had given up his life for his family and what was left of Jess’s family too. He knew Wade had been killed pretty early on in the war so now it was just him and Francie. Then Mrs Johnson hit him with another bomb shell.
“That’s why we’re going away Jess, why I haven’t bothered planting this season. We’re moving back East to live with my brother, me, Millie, Tad and Francie if you’ll let me take her Jess. It’ll be a good life for them, better than I can give them here anyway,” she said sadly.
“My brother has a big place not far from Boston and he’ll make us welcome I know that. We just need to get away from here, from the memories. Maybe not forever but we have to leave Jess. My brother has done well for himself, real well, can afford our fare and to care for us.”
Later, much later, Jess was to remember that she suddenly started to call him Jess…almost like she knew he was now a man. And also maybe, just maybe he could accept his sister being looked after by her family.
Jeez, Pa would have called it every kinda charity and thrown it back in the Johnson’s face. But Jess wasn’t that way and knew he had no option but to accept if he wanted the best for his sister. But that wasn’t to say he liked it…And heck he liked the thought of Millie leaving even less. But what could he do about it? He had nothing to offer them, no safety or security so of course he had to accept Peggy Johnson’s offer with grateful thanks.
He had already caught up with his sister, had tears of joy at his return and sorrow at their imminent parting, within the week according to Mrs Johnson all the travel arrangements already made.
It was much later that evening before Millie finally came home from where she had been visiting kin on the other side of town.
Mrs Johnson and Francie had already retired to bed, leaving Jess on his own to bunk down in the barn with his mount as he said he was happy to do, knowing there was scant space in the shack.
He heard the sound of a horse walking into the yard and then moments later the barn door was pulled back and Millie entered, leading her little dapple grey mare.
She saw the lamp burning above one of the stalls immediately and recoiled for a moment seeing a stranger get up from where he was reclining in the soft hay.
But before she could do anything she recognised Jess’s gravelly voice, “Millie....hey Mill…it’s me.
Jess”
She stood as if frozen to the spot just staring at him.
He advanced slowly on her until they were just a few feet apart… “Millie?” He said again a catch in his voice.
She gasped, then she ran into his arms without hesitation.
“Oh Jess,” she cried, “you’re home.”
He held her close like he would never let her go and then pulled back, looking at her beautiful face, now illuminated by the soft glow of the lantern.
“You’re all grown up,” he said softly, “even more beautiful than I remembered.”
She reached up and ran a finger down his lean, almost gaunt cheek and looked into his deep blue eyes, “And you look so, so old like you have seen hell,” she whispered.
He looked down and then back into her deeply concerned brown eyes, “Guess I’ve been to hell and back livin’ through this war,” he replied, just being honest, not looking for sympathy.
Then cupping her face with his hands, said, “You too…I’m just so dang sorry about your Pa.”
That was when she broke down in tears and he held her close until the storm had passed.
“I’m sorry,” she said much later pulling out a pretty lace hanky and wiping her eyes, “you must think me such a cry baby.”
He shook his head, “I ain’t ever seen ya cry before Mill, but I figure you’ve cause.”
She gave him the ghost of a smile, “You always know the right thing to say.”
They moved back to the stall where he had settled for the night and hunkered down on a straw bale.
“Your ma says you’re off back East to your Uncle’s place at the end of the week,” he said once they were settled.
She nodded looking sorrowful, “I really don’t want to go Jess, but Ma won’t leave without me she’s already lost Ginny I can’t up and leave her too, not so soon after losing Pa.”
“Ginny, Millie, don’t say that Ginny’s dead too?”
“Huh…oh I see what you mean, No, she isn’t dead Jess, just eloped with a soldier. Moved down Mexico way, Ma was furious at first, but I guess she’s forgiven her now. Francie’ s all for the move, she wants a fresh start…Tad too. I guess it’s pretty much about him as well. He’s real bright and Ma wants a good future for him, maybe even a college education, it’s what Pa wanted for him. But what’s to become of me?” And she trailed off.
“Yes, what do you want?” he asked taking her hand and looking deeply into her eyes.
“I want to stay, oh sure I’ll go for now, look out for Ma. But once she’s settled I’m coming back to Texas or maybe even travel west but I’ll be back, I promise you that.”
“Well I’m real glad to hear that sweetheart,” he said softly, “because I can’t lose ya now I’ve found you again.”
God the truth of it was he just didn’t want her to go. He wanted to be with her so much. But what did he have to offer? Nothing to offer, except a future on the drift, hunting down those Bannister brothers. He found now he was back home he just couldn’t forget the wrongs they’d done to his kin and he was anxious to get back on their trail once more. But not yet…not quite yet….
He leaned in and kissed her very tenderly, one hand running down her back, the other cupping her beautiful face. If she had been a girl when he left, well now she was pretty much a woman he surmised and a very passionate one.
She returned his kisses and after a little he pulled back and looked quizzically into eyes misty with desire.
“Millie have you….er I mean are you still…”and he faltered, suddenly feeling embarrassed.
She said nothing for a little while letting him sweat and then throwing him a smouldering look replied, “Yes I’ve had some boyfriends Jess, quite a few in fact but if you’re asking am I still pure …then yes I am….”
He let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding and then their gaze locked, “So far,” she whispered….

Jess sank his head into his hands and sighed deeply.
Then he looked down at his beloved girl, still lying as still as a statue.
“Hell Millie,” he whispered, “do you remember it…that first time together?”
“I never meant for it to happen that way ya know,” he continued, “But I guess we were both young and what with you looking so doggone lovely, layin’ there in my arms in the sweet hay. I tried; God knows I tried to stop. But you said no, said you wanted the first time to be with me… said as how it was kinda fittin’. You remember Millie?” He asked looking down into her still face once more.
He took her hand.
“Millie do ya …do ya remember it?”
Then he could have sworn he felt the gentlest of pressure on his hand.
“Millie!” He cried, “Please girl……please wake up!”
The raised voice brought Sam running in and he gently moved Jess back and checked out his patient before turning to look at his friend.
He shook his head sadly, “No change Jess, I’m so sorry.”
“Sam, there is I swear she squeezed my hand, just a tad…but it was there,” Jess said his face an image of hope.
Sam shook his head and patted his friend’s arm, “I guess you wanted to feel it Jess that’s all.”
Once they were alone together Jess sat up straight in the bedside chair, his features set in a mask of determination, “OK Sweetheart,” he muttered, “I guess ol’ Sam there don’t wanna hear the truth. But you remember that first time together dontcha; just as well as I do and you dang well squeezed my hand to tell me that just now too, I know you did.”

It was when the kissing had gotten more and more passionate that Jess knew he had to call a halt to things. Knew he couldn’t take advantage of this sweet innocent girl. OK she’d had boyfriends knew what she was doin’. He could sure tell that. But take her, without even a promise of something…well something permanent in the future…that wasn’t right and he knew that. The fact that he loved Millie wasn’t in dispute. But hell, to pledge himself to her…or to anyone, well that just weren’t on the cards at least…not now…maybe not ever.
“Millie, no,” he said softly, “this ain’t right it really ain’t. I care for you…don’t wanna hurt you Mill. I can’t offer you what you maybe want, what yer Pa would have wanted for you.”
“It’s alright, I don’t want all that Jess. I just want the first time to be really special and the only way it can be is if it’s with you.”
Jess looked down, to where she was snuggled in his warm embrace, uncertain as to what to do. He knew dang well what he wanted to do…what every fibre of his being was crying out to do…but Millie, his little Millie?
And then she said something that changed his mind and was to be the pattern of their life together for many years to come….
“Jess, don’t you remember that time back after the Summer Dance when we kissed properly for the first time?”
“Yeah I reckon I do.”
“Then the following week on the way to school I said as how I was real worried that if we got close, real close like you were my only boy then if we finished, we’d not be best friends anymore and neither of us wanted that?”
He nodded, “Yup, that’s right and so we said maybe we could be just friends who kiss every so often. But dang it Millie we’re talkin’ about a bit more than just kissin’…you know?”
She nodded, “Oh I know alright and I figure if I’m OK with that I sure don’t see why you shouldn’t be…huh Jess?”}
And that’s the way it was …the way it had always been until just a year ago when they decided the time was right to have an understanding, to date exclusively and begin to make plans for the future. But there had been one Heck of a lot of water under the bridge before that happened Jess recalled now.
{That first time together had been just as special as Millie anticipated and nothing had prepared him for the rush of love he had felt as she finally gave herself to him. Something he always held in his heart and kept separate from every other relationship he had. Yes in the future they would both fall in love with other people….in Jess’s case even commit to another, but all through the years that special precious time was kept safe in their hearts until the time was right to admit it…admit that they loved each other... always had and always would….

Chapter 8
He shook his head a rueful smile playing around his lips as he held her hand and looked down into that still almost peaceful face…Jeez she looked even more beautiful today than he had ever seen her he thought fleetingly. Terribly pale true, but her complexion had a translucency to it that made her look almost ethereal, like one of those Christmas Angels in Mike’s picture book he thought, so pale …so beautiful. But dadgum it, so strong he knew that, knew she would be fighting with all her will to keep going.
Gee she’d had to be strong when he rode away and she went back East with her Ma. He didn’t know how he’d let her go, except that he knew he had to, it was the best thing for her no matter how much it had hurt them both. It was after she left that he kinda went off the rails some he thought wryly. Started walkin’ that tightrope between the law and the owl hoot trail and pretty soon he was in trouble and lots of it too….

It was well over a year later before they hooked up again. Jess had grown increasingly frustrated at his lack of progress in running the Bannisters to ground. If he was honest that was partly why he got caught up with so many less than law abiding characters. He found himself running with wild gangs. Most of them made up of young men, like him, desperately seeking that camaraderie and friendship they had found in their brothers in arms during the war.
Some were just boisterous, exhibiting high spirits by shooting up quiet towns, getting drunk and causing the odd night of bedlam. Before sleeping it off in the town jail and moving on again. Jess who already had a reputation as a real fast draw was welcomed into any gang with alacrity and he enjoyed some crazy fun times…until things turned sour.
One particular gang led by Wes Hardy started off in just this way, high spirited youngsters letting off steam. Until Wes started hitting the bottle, his antics getting more and more daring, until one day he robbed a Stagecoach killing a man and that was when Jess decided he’d had enough and walked away.
He’d received some notoriety due to the company he’d kept though and it wasn’t long before gun happy youngsters wanted to try him on and Jess’s prowess with a gun was beginning to land him in trouble even if it wasn’t him who instigated the fights. Damn it he’d even turned his back on a man refusing to be drawn into yet another shoot-out and ended up being back shot for his trouble. Luckily his opponent’s aim was pretty much as bad as his temper and lack of principles, so he only caught the back of Jess’s arm, but that was enough.
He decided to head north out of Texas on the Chisholm Trail heading for Wichita and then maybe even on to the Canadian border and try his hand at trapping… darn it anything to get away from this reputation that was dogging him.
When he hit the old cow town it was full of cowboys just come off a cattle drive and intent on spending their hard earned money in the saloons and whorehouses, with the odd fist fight thrown in for good measure.
Jess found himself one of the quieter saloons just wanting a peaceful drink and early night after his long ride.
He was half way down his second pint when the grubby individual standing next to him at the bar jogged his elbow spilling some of the cold beer down Jess’ shirt front. He turned to glare at the miscreant and then his expression turned to one of open hostility, “Max Beeston, ”he spat, “what are you doin’ here, you’re wanted fer murder ain’t ya?”
The older man peered intently at Jess and then ignoring the comment turned to his buddy next to him. “Hey Billy I don’t think you’ve met the infamous Jess Harper have you? A dirty lyin’ no account, he cut and ran from the gang when the going got a mite tough didn’t ya Harper? He said turning back to Jess.
“If you mean I decided I didn’t wanna be any part of Wes Hardy’s gang of murderin’ thugs then yeah, I guess you could say so,” Jess replied gruffly.
“Oh no…you sold out…you were the fastest gun we had back then, but you lost yer nerve just because some old guy upped and died on us when we robbed that stage.”
“Upped and died!” Jess yelled, getting real fired up now, “The hell he did the poor sod died because Wes cut him down in cold blood just because he dang well felt like it…got pleasure from killin’.”
Beeston looked momentarily uncomfortable, but rallied quickly, “Anyway Harper don’t you go frettin’ that you’ve let us all down, because we’ve got young Billy here now, and he’s faster than you ever were. Ain’t that right kid?”
Billy threw Jess a wary look, being all too familiar with the Texan’s reputation.
Jess turned back to his beer ignoring Max Beeston’ s drunken taunts.
“Come on boy,” Beeston said turning back to Billy, “call him out, he’s chicken and way past his best…you’ll down him easy.”
The youngster with the mop of curly blond hair seemed to grow in stature at those encouraging words and taking a step back snarled, “Come on then Harper, let’s see what yer made of.”
Jess just continued to drink his beer with his back to the youngster, which seemed to provoke him even more.
“Don’t you dare turn your back on me,” Billy yelled. Now full of bravado and he grabbed hold of Jess arm dragging around to face him.
Unfortunately for Billy that was just one step too far for Jess and he swung a fist into the kid’s face downing him in one, before turning and flattening Beeston with equal aplomb and then the whole bar erupted in a free for all.
That was until the Wichita Sheriff, one Vinny Knowles, and his Deputy Davey Sorrel came on the scene. Vinny discharged his rifle and seconds later the ruckus was over.
The Sheriff threw out the worst of the fighting factions and then homed in on Jess and Max. He looked Max Beeston over carefully before doing the same to Billy and then a smile crept over his tired old features.
“Well looky what we’ve got us here Davy,” he said turning to his handsome young Deputy, “only some of the Wes Hardy Gang.”
Then he turned to Jess, “Beeston here called you Harper…Jess Harper is it?”
Jess nodded, “Yes sir.”
“Umm…well I wonder what we can stick on you, got any wanted posters out on you son?”
Jess shook his head, “Nope I ain’t.”
“Umm, well it won’t hurt you to cool your heels in my jail for a week or two while I check that out.”
Then he turned back to Beeston, “And you two have gotten a rope waitin’ on you if I ain’t mistaken,” and with that the men were marched over to the Sheriff’s office.
Jess argued long and hard that he was the innocent party, but Sheriff Knowles was no fool and a catch like Jess Harper in his jail would do the old timer’s reputation no harm…no harm at all. There had been murmurings on the town Council that he was getting a tad too old for the job.
Now as he gazed at his prisoner sitting on his cot with a face like thunder he smiled inwardly. Yup having the likes of Jess Harper in his jail for a while would do his image the world of good. That and a couple of the notorious Hardy gang too…things were sure looking up.
It was the following morning when Jess was still sitting on his cot brooding on the unfairness of life when the Sheriff’s office door was opened and a young lady carrying a tray bearing coffee and biscuits for their breakfast entered.
Jess paid her no mind until the Sheriff opened the cell door allowing her in. He glanced up at the shapely young woman, wearing a pretty blue, lace trimmed, dress and then he just stared at her open mouthed his handsome features a study of utter shock and disbelief.
The woman opened her beautiful brown eyes wide in amazement mirroring his own expression, before losing her grip on the tray and letting it clatter to the cell floor, its contents scattering messily.
“What the hell, what are you playing at you clumsy girl,” the old Sheriff exploded, marching over to view the mess, “Clean it up at once…then get off, the prisoner can make do with water.”
But neither Jess nor the girl paid him any heed.
“Millie…. Millie? What the heck are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same Jess Harper, “came the lightning fast comeback, “why are you in jail what have you done?”
Jess tipped his head to the adjoining cell, “Ask that bastard, it were all his fault,”he said contemptuously, glaring at Beeston.
Then he turned back to look at her, drinking in the wonderfully womanly figure, the beautiful expressive eyes now he noted looking lovingly into his own.
“Jess…”
He came forward, taking her in his arms embraced her warmly, “God it’s dang good to see you Mill,” he whispered.
“Very touching I’m sure,” muttered the Sheriff, “now clear up the mess girl and get yourself off.”
“You don’t understand,” said Millie quickly, “we’re really old friends.”
“Huh, friends you say, sure you are,” the Sheriff said sarcastically, “so what will your Davey make of that then? Now get off back to the hotel girl before I get riled, the prisoner can clear up you just get off.”
Millie threw Jess an anguished glance, before retreating as she’d been told, but then turned back at the door.
“I can visit him can’t I Sheriff, prisoners are allowed a visit, aren’t they?”
The Sheriff grunted but on seeing the look in the pretty young woman’s eyes finally relented, “Come back at two….but just half an hour and no fraternizing, I ain’t having none of that kissin’ and cuddling in my cells, you understand girl?”
“Yes Sheriff,” she said meekly and shooting Jess a triumphant smile departed.
*******
“Who’s this Davey and what’s he to you?” asked Jess once Millie had returned that afternoon and been reluctantly allowed into the cell by the elderly Sheriff.
“Why Jess Harper I do believe you’re jealous,” she giggled, before sobering quickly at the hurt look in his deep blue eyes…
“Nope,” he said gruffly. “Just lookin’ out fer you girl, ‘tis what friends do.”
“Oh, I’m a big girl now,” she said sarcastically, “I can look after myself Jess, goodness knows I’ve had to since I came back west, you certainly weren’t anywhere around.”
“When was that?”
“About six months ago, I made friends with a girl back east Lily…Lily Barnes, we get on so well Jess, she’s such a good friend and when she heard I wanted to come back home she said she’d join me. She’s got an old Uncle lives here in Wichita, so thought we’d find work here for a spell and then maybe move on up to Colorado, Wyoming even…make a fresh start.”
“What did your Ma think about that…huh?”
“Well none too happy at first, but she met up with Lily’s uncle back east and liked him, so she agreed. She’s thinking of heading back this way herself as soon as Tad’s in college so she can keep an eye on me.”
“And in the meantime, you’re gettin’ real close to this here Davy then…huh?”
“Jess…OK I am real fond of Davy Sorrel, but he’s a good man, the deputy sheriff here, with good prospects. And anyway, who are you to judge me?” she said angrily. “Don’t tell me you haven’t been going with other girls because I just don’t believe you.”
Jess looked down, flushing slightly, knowing the truth of it…But it was different for a man wasn’t it?
He sighed deeply, “OK Millie, I’m real sorry, don’t let’s argue, you’re OK, happy?”
“Sure, sure Lily and I are working at the Hotel across the street, it’s a nice enough place, but I figure we’ll move on further up north in a year or two, unless….
“Unless what Millie?”
She just looked down, unable to meet his eyes.
“Mil, unless what?”
“Unless I marry,” she said finally.
“What! You’re gonna marry this guy!”
“I don’t know…no, maybe heck he hasn’t even asked me yet Jess. Anyway, that’s enough about me, what are you doing here? Davy was telling me you’ve been in all kinds of trouble with the law, been in jail too… what’s going on Jess?”
He dipped his head looking embarrassed before finally looking her in the eyes again.
“I guess I have been every kind of a fool,” he said honestly, “got kinda wild, runnin’ with gangs. But I’m changed now Mil, keepin’ outer trouble…well tryin’ to,” he said darkly. “But I guess there ’ll always be some bastard wantin’ to prove himself by waging’ his gun against mine and I can’t figure as to how that’ll change not for a few years anyway.”
“I’m sorry Jess, I can see how maybe none of this is your fault,” she said slowly, looking him over again, remembering their past and how much she cared for him, “I worry…. you know?”
“Do ya?” He asked softly.
“You know I do…always have.”
Then she was in his arms and he was kissing her so, tenderly, when suddenly the cell door slammed open and a tall dark haired young man stood there looking flushed and angry.
Jess and Millie sprang apart, just as the man lurched towards Jess, digging him sharply in the stomach with his rifle.
“Get off of the lady,” he yelled looking incensed with rage.
But instead of running to him Millie clung to Jess, trying to support him as he had fallen to his knees from the vicious blow to his belly.
“Davy what are you doing?” Millie cried furiously, twisting to peer up at him from where she was now cradling Jess.
“More like what are YOU doing?”Davey snapped back, “What are you up to kissing this low life gun slick?”
“You don’t understand,” she returned angrily, “this is Jess my oldest and dearest friend, my very best friend in fact.”
“Uh, best friends now is it?” spat Davey sarcastically, “We’ll see about that anyway visiting’ s over so get out of here girl.”
She turned back to where Jess had dragged himself up and was now collapsed on the cot.
“You’ll be alright?”
“Sure, you go sweetheart, I don’t wanna cause you any trouble,” he said watching her closely, aware that there was a fleeting look of fear in her deep brown eyes.
She turned for the cell door and then glanced back, “I’ll bring your supper,” she said softly, before throwing the deputy a challenging look and leaving.
Once she had gone Davey Sorrel threw Jess a black look, “You’re real good friends with my girl then Harper?”
Jess’s eyes narrowed and he felt a stab of jealousy at Millie being referred to as Davey’s girl.
“Yup,” he finally growled, “you got a problem with that huh?”
“Oh yes, I guess you could say so. Come here you lowlife southern trash,” and he pulled Jess up by the front of his shirt taking a swing that caught Jess full in the face making him reel backwards, falling heavily.
He lay there rubbing his chin and staring up at his adversary, every inch of him crying out to retaliate but his common sense prevailed, knowing that if he did he’d doubtless be jailed and the key chucked away. Nope he needed to see Millie, make sure she was OK.
His failure to respond seemed to be like a red rag to a bull and the deputy looked furious, “Come on then Harper, I thought you were supposed to be pretty handy with your fists, you sure didn’t hold back any the other day did ya?”
“I ain’t stupid,” Jess muttered and that was to be the last coherent thing he was to say for a while as the deputy commenced a brutal attack, punching him almost into oblivion. Then, once Jess was downed started kicking him hard in the belly.
Just as Jess thought he could take no more the cell door banged open and the Sheriff was there.
“What in hell are you playing at you young fool?” he shouted dragging the younger man away roughly.
“He…he was er trying to escape, I was just restraining him,” the deputy said, the words sounding ridiculous even to his own ears.
“Sure…sure he was,” the Sheriff said sarcastically, “and so your girl was lyin’ when she came and found me a minute ago and said as how you’d stuck your goddamn rifle in his guts flooring him …huh?”
When Davey didn’t respond the Sheriff continued, getting even angrier.
“This isn’t like it’s the first time son, remember the trouble you got into when you were dating the Larrimore girl…young Annie…you darned near killed that guy who was talking to her at the dance, no wonder she threw you over. I told you then this jealous temper of yours would get you in big trouble.”
All the time this had been going on Jess had crawled to his bunk and sat there breathing heavily, clasping his chest and gasping, his breathing labored.
The Sheriff glanced at Jess then back to the deputy and erupted in anger.
“That’s it boy, you’re finished here I just can’t trust you, give me your badge.”
Davey Sorrel’s head shot up, glaring at the Sheriff in shocked amazement, “What, you’re joking. You can’t mean it Sheriff, just for roughing up this no-account saddle bum?”
“Roughing up! Yelled the Sheriff, “You’ve dang near killed him, probably would have done iffen I hadn’t happened along when I did, now git before I throw you in the other cell for attempted murder.”
The younger man cussed loudly before ramming his hat on hard and marching out slamming the door behind him.
The Sheriff went over and looked down at where Jess was now stretched out on the bunk groaning softly.
“Goddamn it I’m sorry boy,” he said quietly, “I’ll fetch the doc to you.”
The elderly doctor arrived a few minutes later. He was a dapper little man in a smart suit and wearing gold rimmed eye glasses and a concerned expression on his kindly face.
He examined Jess quickly and efficiently, before binding his badly cracked ribs. He then attended to all the other lacerations, tutting sadly at the dark bruising already forming on Jess’s lower torso.
“Well it’s a good job you’re not thinking of getting Wed in the next week or two young man or you’d have a very unhappy bride, but don’t worry, things will settle down again once the bruising heals up. Those ribs will take a mite longer no exertion, riding and the like until you’re feeling better…OK?”
“I guess I won’t be going anywhere any time soon,” said Jess ruefully. “Not until the Sheriff here’s satisfied I ain’t a wanted man that is.”
The old Sheriff looked slightly embarrassed, “Er it seems you were telling the truth Harper, I’ve made my inquiries and all I have is that you were honorably discharged after the war a few misdeeds since and one spell in prison. But that seems to have straightened you out. You’re free to leave as soon as you feel able that is,” he said again looking uncomfortable.
“I’m fine,” said Jess firmly, struggling to sit up, one arm curved protectively around his battered ribs.
The Sheriff raised an eyebrow at the doctor but merely said, “I’ll go fetch your stuff.”
Once they were alone the doctor sucked in a breath at the young cowboy’s obvious pain, shaking his head sadly.
“This is the handy work of that darned Deputy again is it?” he asked.
Jess just nodded, “He brings a lot of work your way does he then doc?”
“Way too much, yes, more than Sheriff Knowles is aware of that’s for sure, he’s dang jealous. If anyone looks at his girl he goes crazy”, he said shaking his head sadly. “And it doesn’t end there either, if he thinks his woman is looking at another man…well he slaps her about real good too. I remember when he was seeing young Annie……”
But Jess never waited to hear what happened to the hapless Annie, he was up off the cot in one fluid movement, much to the doctor’s amazement and out of the cell door to the office in the blink of an eye. He grabbed his gun and belt from the Sheriff and made for the door without pausing.
“Hey young fellow I ain’t completed all the paper work yet,” the Sheriff called after him.
“Later,” yelled Jess, “where’s the hotel where Millie Johnson works?”
“Why across the street boy, but she won’t be working right now, she’s a room at the top of the stairs.”
But Jess had gone.
He barged into the Hotel lobby startling the white-haired clerk, before tearing up the stairs two at a time.
He was just wondering which room when he heard someone shouting for help and moments later a slim girl with blond curly hair cannoned into him.
“Help me mister… please help,” she cried, “He’s hurting her bad” and she turned back up the stairs.
Jess heard Millie crying out in pain before he even reached her room. He threw the door open and stood on the threshold for a split second, taking in the horrific scene before him….
Millie was sprawled across a bed, tears rolling down her flushed cheeks and a trickle of blood dribbling down her chin from a split lip where Sorrel had viciously backhanded her.
Jess literally roared with rage and launched himself at Sorrel, he dragged him up sending him sprawling with a haymaker to the chin, before dragging him up and laying blow after blow on the Deputy, leaving him in a bloody heap, before turning his attention to Millie.
The blond girl was already hunkered down beside her trying to wipe the blood from her chin with a hanky, but she turned when Jess marched over.
“You must be Millie’s Jess,” she said quietly, “I’m Lily.”

Now all these years later Jess looked down at Millie’s cool pale face, still completely impassive….
“That was the first time I met Lily, she’s been a good friend to you ain’t she Millie? Been across to check on you every day visited in here a couple of times too, was upset though seeing you this way, real upset,” And his voice thickened with emotion, “I guess we all are girl.”
“Do you remember that Millie, way I tore into that ol’ deputy I guess he was in even worse shape than me once I’d finished with him. Just lucky Sheriff Knowles turned up when he did I reckon.”
He sighed deeply taking her hand again, “Jeez it was a hard time weren’t it Mil.”

Sheriff Knowles had frogmarched his ex-deputy off to the jail, unable to overlook this latest atrocity, intending to jail him until Millie was feeling up to pressing charges.
Lily had finally gone off to work leaving Millie in Jess’s tender care and the two settled down in her room on a battered old sofa. Jess’s arm slung around her shoulders, her head resting on his chest…the weeping finally over.
“I can’t believe what a fool I’ve been,” she said quietly, “I knew he had a temper, heck I’m used to yours God knows and it didn’t bother me too much, he’d always been real good to me up until today that is,” she said with a little sob.
Jess held her close, “It’s OK sweetheart, he can’t hurt you no more now that the Sheriff has got him banged up in the cells and he ain’t goin’ no place.”
“Never mind about me,” she said tearfully, “just look what he’s done to you.”
“Oh I’ll survive,” he said kissing the top of her head tenderly, “just as long as you ain’t expectin’ any good lovin’ in the foreseeable. I reckon he’s kinda put a stop to my romancin’ fer a while.”
She peered up at him then, throwing him a cheeky little grin, the old feisty Millie finally emerging again.
“You are staying in town for a while then cowboy?” She asked, “I guess I can wait.”
He held her close then, “Gee Millie, I love ya girl,” he said softly.}

Chapter 9
It was the following day when Rev Joshua Wesley visited Millie who was still lying in Doc Sam’s hospital bed.
Reverend Wesley, his wife Mary and daughters Faith and Hannah had arrived in Laramie a couple of years ago and were soon firm friends with all at the ranch. Jess and Joshua, as he insisted on being called, hit it off particularly well from the start, having a shared love of fishing… according to Joshua. But Daisy sometimes wondered if there was a tiny bit of subterfuge involved as many of the fishing trips included lively religious discussions. Maybe, just maybe she thought the clever pastor was able to preach to his ‘sheep’ outside of the confines of the Church, which Jess particularly attended less regularly than Daisy would like.
It had been when Hannah, the older daughter had become overly fond of Jess that the two men had become even more open and honest with each other. (*#40 See the Secret Admirer) The restrained way Jess had dealt with his elder daughter’s inappropriate crush had very much endeared him to the older man. Now he felt desperately sad as he neared the doctor’s office to possibly offer the last rites to dear Millie. Doc Sam had said just the day before that the young lady didn’t have long to go…unless a miracle happened.
Joshua had visited and prayed with Jess and Millie several times since the terrible accident, but today he needed to make it clear to Jess that he had to say goodbye and he didn’t relish the task. He knew that Doc Sam had tried his best to be straight with Jess and try to get him to face up to the truth. But so far, he had been met with open aggression and denial of Millie’s tragic situation.
He entered the sickroom and stood quietly for a moment watching the little tableau before him of Jess sitting at the bedside, holding Millie’s hand and staring intently into her poor pale, pinched little face.
He steeled himself and entered the room, coughing discretely to warn Jess of his presence.
When the dark haired cowboy turned to look up at him the Reverend hid a grimace of shock at the young man’s haggard appearance. Even in the last couple of days he seemed to have aged ten years, his dark stubble contrasting with his deathly white pallor, his eyes looking dark and weary.
“How is she?” Joshua asked softly.
“‘Bout the same,” Jess replied gruffly.
The pastor sighed and shook his head, “I’m sorry Jess but maybe it’s time to say goodbye to her, let her journey on in peace?”
Jess’s head shot up and he was flushed and angry, “Journey on! What in hell are ya talking about? She ain’t going anywhere, except back to the ranch with me once she’s on the mend.”
“I think you know what I mean Jess, just let Millie die peacefully. I think, well maybe all this talking to her…trying to keep her with you is holding back the natural process…if her time has come, well then you just have to face it and….”
But Joshua was never to finish his sentence as Jess grabbed hold of him and frogmarched him from the room…The older man shrank back fearing his good friend might well punch him, such was the fury in his deep blue eyes….
Maybe if Joshua hadn’t been a man of the cloth Jess might very well have floored him, but as it was he contented himself with a verbal lashing….
“Don’t you dare say she’s dyin’ in front of her…have you any idea how upsetting that is for her to hear? And don’t give me any of that trash about holding her back from dyin’ peacefully, because that’s the last dang thing I’m doing…I’m keeping her here because that’s what she wants…I just know it….”
“Jess…buddy please listen to me…Millie is nearly gone, as it is she may well be brain damaged…she could never be the person she was…don’t you see its kinder to just let her go?”
Jess shook his head, “She can hear me and she’s fighting for her life! I ain’t about to let anyone stop her…Iffen you ain’t of a mind to help her fight then I reckon you needn’t visit again…Reverend”…he finished bitterly.
The use of his title rather than Christian name was by far the most hurtful thing Jess had said. Joshua viewed him as a good and highly valued friend…but now, would they ever regain that close friendship?
He shook his head sadly, “I’m sorry Jess…maybe your way is right…only time will tell… May I come back in and pray with you for a little…for her recovery?” he asked knowing that he had to help in any way he could and if this is what Jess…and yes maybe Millie, needed to hear then so be it.
Jess said nothing but gave his friend a brief nod and opening the door stood to one side to let the pastor back inside….
Once he had left Jess took Millie’s hand again and stroked it tenderly….
“Don’t you pay no heed to ol’ Joshua there,” he said softly, “he’s got it wrong about you wantin’ to leave me ain’t he sweetheart…I guess you just need a tad longer to get yer strength back and wake up huh?”

“Where were we up to? Oh yeah I’d just beaten the shit out of your Deputy Davy Sorrel and you an’ me where holed up in your room over the hotel weren’t we.”
{“It makes a change,” he said smiling tenderly.
“Um…what?” asked Millie.
“Me cleanin’ you up,” he said as he gently bathed her poor battered face where Sorrel had backhanded her.
“I guess so….”
He gently stroked a finger down her bruised cheek, “Please Mill, promise me it’s over, you won’t be seeing that bastard again.”
“What do you think cowboy, besides you said you’d be staying around for a while didn’t you?”
And he had done too.
He’d fixed himself up with a job at the livery and settled down for a spell, spending all his free time with Millie and often Lily as well.
Dave Sorrel was tried and found guilty of two vicious attacks and was given a lengthy jail sentence.
Had things turned out differently Jess figured he and Millie might have hooked up together there and then, but a month later two things happened to alter their destiny. For the time being at least….
Jess got word the Bannisters had been sighted heading down to New Mexico.
Then the following day Millie got a letter from her Ma saying that an old friend was opening a Hotel up in Denver and she wanted Peggy Johnson to be the housekeeper. There are positions for you and Lily too she went on to say, begging her daughter to consider the move.
“Will ya go then?” asked Jess as they lay in her big comfortable bed that night.
“I guess I have to yes. Ma is very independent I know that, but I know she really wants me to go too and there’s nothing here for me anymore.”
“I’m sorry Millie I have to go, you know that. I have to finally get revenge for what those bastards did to Ma and Pa and the babies,” he said his deep blue eyes immeasurably sad.
“I know honey, I know,” she whispered and then she was in his arms.
The love making was so sweet and so passionate that she wanted nothing more than to stay in this man’s life forever…But she knew Jess too well, knew he would never settle and be truly happy until his vengeance had been satisfied.
And so, it was just a week later he saw her and Lily off on the Stage headed for Denver. Shortly after he headed off after the Bannister Gang.
Of course, it had all come to nothing again, by the time he landed down in the Deep South there were rumours that they had gone to earth over the border…lying low after their latest atrocity. Well Jess figured if half the lawmen in the State couldn’t run them to ground then he wouldn’t have a hope in hell. He sadly turned Traveller back up towards the west…and Denver…but he never made it…}
I guess I never explained why I decided to head for Canada instead of coming up to Denver to meet up again he said now staring intently into her still, peaceful face.
See it was this way sweetheart….
{Sure, he’d meant to head over to Denver see Millie and her Ma again. Lily too, he’d become quite fond of Lily in a brotherly kinda way.
It was when he hit yet another ol’ cow town on the way that his plans changed.
He’d been in the bar enjoying a quiet drink when Butch Harding landed.
He saw Jess first and there was murder in his eye.
Then Jess glanced up in the mirror over the bar and saw Harding backing off, the gunfighter stance clearing the bar quicker than a Rattler sliding in.
Jess turned slowly to face him, “Butch,” he said quietly, “I don’t want no trouble, just havin’ me a quiet drink….”
“Trouble, trouble,” echoed the skinny red-haired runt of a man, “I’ll show you trouble…been wantin’ to try you on fer size ever since you downed by big brother.”
Jess sighed deeply, was this never going to end? Always being accosted in bars or in the street, some sad bastard wanting to prove they were a faster draw than the infamous Jess Harper…the boy from Texas with the lightning draw.
“I don’t wanna fight ya,” Jess said wearily, “just get a drink and settle down Butch it don’t have to be this way.”
“Was that way with Denny though weren’t it,” the other insisted.
“Your Denny was blind drunk when he took me on. His friends had been goading him all afternoon to prove he was faster than me according to the folk in the bar that day. When I walked in I knew nuthin’ about it. Hell Butch I wouldn’t draw on a drunk and certainly not one like Denny who was none too bright…and as slow a draw as I’ve seen.”
“Why then Jess…why’d you do it?”
“It was real dark in there, I came in and when a guy comes forwards and yells, draw or you’re a dead man and goes for his gun, you kinda tend to go for your gun too.”
“Yeah well Denny may have been slow on the draw, but I ain’t, so come on Jess, lets finish it here and now.”
“I told ya I ain’t gonna fight ya, Jess insisted, “I’m done with all that goddamn life, running with gangs, never bein’ able to turn my back. Always lookin’ out for the one who wants to try me…done with it for good…I’m headin’ north, settle down some place.”
“Oh no you ain’t goin’ no place Jess,” Butch drawled. “Not until this business is settled,” then he drew.
Jess was way faster and just winged him, stopping him but not killing the no hoper.
No that wasn’t the tragedy of that day…What had really been heart breaking was that the barkeeps young daughter had suddenly run out from the kitchen at the back, where she’d been helping her Ma.
Straight into the line of fire, Butch’s bullet going wide by a mile and hitting her square in the chest.}
“She was just thirteen years of age Mill, shot dead at just thirteen. A pretty little kid she was, blond hair, blue eyes…their only child.” His voice cracked and he couldn’t go on for a moment. He still held Millie’s limp little hand in his own, tears springing to his eyes as he remembered that terrible tragedy.
“Goddamn it Millie, I felt like layin’ my weapon down and never carryin’ a gun again after that. It near broke my heart, I ain’t never told anyone about it you know…not even Slim

Then he felt it again, the faintest pressure on his hand, almost as soft and gentle as a butterfly wing, but it was there he just knew it was she could hear him, she really could!
The contrast between that terrible time and the elation that Millie really could hear him would be OK, was so breathtakingly conflicting that he felt almost dizzy.
He stood up to go and tell Sam the glad tidings, but then sank down on the edge of the bed again, “I figure we’ll just keep this to ourselves sweetheart,” he whispered, “wait and see their faces when you wake up and start takin’ notice again huh.”
He stared keenly at her face again, had that been a slight flickering of her eyelashes, or just the dappled light reflected from sun playing on a tree outside the window, he wasn’t sure. No matter it was only a case of being patient.
He closed his eyes and remembered back to that fateful day.

Both he and Butch had been arrested. However, he had soon been released when folk in the bar vouched for him. Said he was just an unsuspecting drifter who had tried to defuse the situation. Knew the man and had told him to back off more than once, until the hapless Butch drew anyway. Even the barkeep agreed as to that was how it had been.
Jess just wanted to move on, brush the dust of that old town off of his boots and go find some work for the winter. Thanksgiving had come and gone and the weather was cold, with the promise of snow and he sure as hell didn’t wanna be out on the drift in that. Heck it was nearly Christmas he suddenly realised. It was decreed by the town Sheriff that he should stay and give evidence at the trial so he had no choice but to do so. The Sheriff was a particularly fussy and unpleasant man and Jess had the feeling that if he didn’t toe the line, well then, he might just end up back in jail with Butch.
However, as it happened the case never came to trial as two days before the circuit judge was due to arrive Butch took his own life.
Sheriff Dean had come back from supper to find the prisoner hanging from the top bar of the cell suspended by his own belt.
There were those cynics in the town that said the prisoner should never have been left alone; especially not in possession of his belt. That there was the possibility that Sheriff Dean, being Godfather to the poor dead girl, might just have decided to take the law into his own hands. By negligence on his part as to the prisoner’s care. He had certainly sidestepped any intervention from the judge and got the job done in record time anyway. However folk could only speculate, well out of the Sheriff’s hearing.
As it was all done with, Jess just breathed a sigh of relief and moved on…But that bitter occurrence was to haunt him forever. The sight of the child’s look of shock as the bullet pierced her heart, the way she fell to the ground and then the wailing and lamenting of her wretched parents, the bartender and his pretty wife, still sent shivers down his spine all these years later.
He rode out the day after the child’s funeral, feeling he should pay his respects, although Sheriff Dean threw him some black looks, he didn’t hang around afterwards.
During his enforced stay in town he had hooked up with the ramrod of a spread just a few miles out of town. On hearing Jess was keen to find ranch work and a billet for the winter months he gladly took him on. He was a friendly guy called Charlie, a Texan like Jess and had fought in the Confederacy so a bond was forged at their first meeting.
Well maybe things would have worked out better if Charlie had stayed around, but as it was he was sent off down to Texas to pick up some beeves shortly after he introduced Jess to the rancher one Edwin Dean.
Dean was a stocky old man in his mid-sixties and obviously didn’t suffer fools gladly.
“Sure, I’ll take you on son, as long as you behave yerself and get the work done, I don’t like shirkers and can’t stand moaners either. Keep yer head down and do what you’re paid for and nothing else and we’ll be just fine.”
“Yes sir, you got it,” Jess said quickly, just looking forward to a roof over his head and three meals a day.
The men in the bunk house seemed friendly enough when he wandered over and he settled in OK.
The following evening, he was standing chatting as they washed up after a real hard day.
“Old man Dean is kinda tough ain’t he?” He remarked to one of the hands Randy Weller.
“Um, can be, I guess bein’ a widower makes him kinda ornery,” he said winking over at Jim Long another hand.
“Uh, I guess that’s understandable,” said Jess as he washed up at the outside pump before towelling off, “I reckon bein’ without a woman can make us all kinda hard to live with sometimes.”
“You like the girls then do ya Jess?” asked Randy, again exchanging a wink with Jim.
“Why sure I do,” said Jess enthusiastically, “tall, short, blond, brunette…a little red head, love ‘em all.”
“I guess you’ll like her then,” said Randy, tipping his head to the ranch house from where a nubile young woman was just coming out through the front door.
Jess looked over and surveyed a gorgeous looking red head with a curvy figure.
“Who in hell’s that?” he asked openly gaping at the vision of loveliness.
“That’s young Chrissy Dean,” Jim drawled, “and she’s real friendly Jess… I mean real friendly”!
“You don’t say,” Jess muttered flinging the towel down, brushing himself off with his hat and then marching over to where Chrissy was now leaning nonchalantly on the porch rail making eyes at him.
He tipped his hat and gave her his most charming smile.
“Evening Ma’am…nice night,” he said casting a glance at the red sunset in the west sending ruddy shadows across the chilly winter yard.
“Real pretty,” she agreed, then coming forwards she offered her hand. “I’m Chrissy Dean and you must be the new wrangler Mister Harper is it?”
“Yes Ma’am, Jess that is, Jess Harper.”
“Well howdy Jess good to know you …and you must call me Chrissy huh?”
“Sure Ma’am, I mean Chrissy,” he said with a shy smile.
“So, Jess, what do you know about horse doctoring?”
“Some I guess, I ain’t no horse doc, but I can pretty much sort out every day kinda problems, why you got a sick horse?”
“Umm yes, my brood mare I think she might be coming up lame, could you have a look for me?”
A good half hour later when Jess had put the mare through her paces and returned her to her stall in the barn, unable to find anything wrong, he turned a puzzled gaze on Chrissy.
“I just don’t get it, she looks to be in perfect health to me,” he said, turning to face her from where he was still checking over the pretty Palomino in her stall.
He was surprised to see that Chrissy had entered the stall and was now standing very close to him. Way too close for comfort Jess thought as he smelled her heady perfume and felt her sweet breath on his cheek.
“Uh, I figure your Pa might not be too happy about us being alone in here,” he started…looking past her through the open barn door. “I reckon maybe you need to get a horse doc in anyway,” he said once more turning away and concentrating on the animal behind him.
“Oh that won’t be necessary,” she said with a breathy little giggle, “Rosie is just fine I made that story up.”
“Huh?” he asked swinging around to look into her teasing blue eyes.
“Well how else was I going to get you all alone in the barn?” she asked, her eyes now open wide in mock innocence.
He just gaped at her as she moved even closer and reaching up kissed him firmly on the lips….
Jess responded enthusiastically before pulling back and throwing her a quizzical look, “Well you’re a darned fast worker.”
“What’s up honey dontcha like kissing and lovin’?” She asked cocking a perfectly arched eyebrow at him.
“Oh yeah I like it right enough, but maybe it ain’t such a good idea with the boss’s daughter and on my first day huh?”}

“Well I sure got that one right Millie,” he said with feeling… “I know you don’t mind hearing about some of the girls I’ve been…er friends with,” he said with a chuckle. Then more seriously, I guess we’d always agreed on it, sure it was OK for you to date other guys back then. We were just best friends that liked a little lovin’ sometimes, no strings. But I have to come clean sweetheart it wasn’t always that easy for me you know. Sure, when we were parted I went with other women, we’d agreed on that…but you and other men, nope,” he said shaking his head sadly, “I guess I just didn’t like to think of it. Anyways, you were gone and it had been a long time since…you know…and I really wanted her I guess…that’s why I was darned stupid.”

“Come on Jess nobody will know and you like me dontcha…huh?”
“Oh, sure I like ya…you’re cute, real cute.”
It was sometime later when they were laying in the hay of an empty stall, kissing hard, their young bodies entwined in the throes of passion, that strong arms dragged them apart. Jess was suddenly hauled up by his shirt front and a rifle barrel jabbed in his ribs bringing him back to his knees.
He glared up at his attacker, gasping in shock and pain, as he found himself looking up into the enraged eyes of Rancher Dean.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing with my wife?” he finally roared….
“Wife…huh…wife?” he almost squeaked looking over to Chrissy for confirmation.
She just nodded, pulling straw out of her hair and trying to adjust her dress as she blushed furiously.
“Sorry Edwin darling,” she gasped, “I guess this young cowboy kinda took a shine to me and just wouldn’t take no for an answer, I couldn’t stop him, honey honest I couldn’t.”
“Don’t treat me like I’m a complete fool Chrissy, get in the damn house and stay there, I’ll deal with you later” he yelled.
It was an hour or so later that a battered and bleeding Jess mounted his horse and left the Dean ranch for good.
The rancher had four of his men work Jess over until he was unconscious and then he’d thrown water in his face followed by his wages for the day and told in no uncertain terms to get the hell out.
As he left Randy wandered over and helped him mount. “Sorry buddy just our bit of fun, I really didn’t think Dean would be back until after supper.
Jess acknowledged the apology. “I guess it serves me right for messin’ with the lady,” he said with a crooked grin.
“Well don’t feel too darn bad about it. That Chrissy goes for every new guy that starts here, like a bitch on heat she is, I guess that’s what happens when a young woman like her weds an old man, gotta get it where she can,” he said philosophically.
Jess just shook his head in disbelief…before giving a little salute of farewell.
“So long Jess…. and Merry Christmas.”
Christmas…heck yes it would be Christmas Eve tomorrow he remembered, ’Merry Christmas’ he said to himself bitterly as he kneed Traveller on to a fast trot heading back to town.
He’d never meant to set foot in that old town again, not after all that terrible business with the kid getting shot. But hell, it was miles to the next place and he needed supplies and a roof over his head whilst he made plans. Maybe he could get work in town? He sure didn’t want to be out in the big open at this time of year that was for sure. A Northerly wind blasted across the plain and he pulled the collar of his sheep skin jacket up and cussed softly as the first feathery flakes of snow started to fall.
It was late when he finally rode into town. Once he was satisfied Traveller was comfortable in the livery he booked into a cheap Boarding House and lay low licking his wounds and feeling kinda sorry for himself. But things were to get a whole lot worse before they got better….
The following day was Christmas Eve and he decided to have a quiet lunchtime drink in the saloon. He was just finishing his beer when the batwing doors practically flew off their hinges as the Sheriff barged his way in, making straight for Jess.
“I hear you’re acquainted with my brother Edwin Dean,” he exploded looking as mad as all get out….
“Edwin Dean is your brother?” Jess asked weakly, not having made the connection. Heck Dean was a common enough name around these parts.
“Yes, and I believe you know his wife even more intimately…huh…huh?” He yelled stabbing Jess in the chest with a finger to make his point.
“News sure travels fast in these parts,” Jess muttered bitterly.
“You don’t deny it then?” asked the Sheriff looking even more riled.
“No point,” said Jess, “but it ain’t a hangin’ offense Sheriff. Maybe your brother should keep a tighter rein on his wife, she’s gotten kind of a roving eye so I hear.”
Well that sure weren’t a smart move cheeking the Sheriff he lamented later.
“Don’t you get smart with me boy; I want you out of my town pronto. You’ve got ten minutes to ride out. Or by God I’ll find some good reason to lock you up in my jail and throw away the key, got it?”
Jess got it alright and rode out of town just ten minutes later.}
“I had nuthin’ save some trail grub and a bottle of Red Eye,” he said to the still deeply sleeping Millie.” I camped a few miles from town, near a creek, pines above me a good enough spot I guess but lonely Millie, powerful lonely. I dunno if it was because it was Christmas,” he mused, “but I felt so dang alone. Never did on the drift usually, the night sounds of the little critters my lullaby, the moon and my old horse for company, I kinda liked being on my own. But not that night Mill I was so goddamn lonesome.”
He looked down into her impassive still features, “But not as dang lonely as I’m feelin’ right now. Talkin’ and talkin’ and nuthin’ from you Millie…Please, please girl wake up and talk to me!” he cried in anguish. But nothing just the shallow breathing…the static pale, pale face…the dark lashes casting shadows on her translucent skin….
He closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath before looking back at the woman he loved so, so much….
“OK I guess you wanna hear a bit more of the story, before you’re ready to wake up huh?
There I was, Christmas Eve, the night still and silent save for an old wolf howling to the full moon. I felt pretty much like joining him,” he said with a bitter smile. ‘But no, I just tethered Traveller a tad closer to the fire for company and cracked open the Red Eye. I guess I needed warming up some as snow had been fallin’ since I’d left the town and it was mighty cold…but kinda pretty by the moonlight too I guess.”
{It sure was a lonely spot, the stark shapes of the trees against the white snow, all illuminated by a huge moon and a myriad of twinkling stars. But there was one…one real special star that was brighter than all the others.
Fuelled by the whiskey and a need to hear a human voice maybe he started to sing his old Ma’s favourite carol.
“O star of wonder, star of night,
Star with royal beauty bright,
Westward leading, still proceeding,
Guide us to thy Perfect Light.”
He sang, his strong, slightly slurred, baritone echoing into the silent night, making Traveller’ s ears flick. An owl silently launched himself from a nearby tree, flying off in fright. He grinned to himself and took another sip of his coffee, liberally laced with hill whiskey, beginning to feel real mellow.
“Go on then, ol’ star,” he mocked. “Why don’t you lead me to your Perfect Light, huh?”
What did the good Lord want with the likes of him anyway, he thought bitterly, feeling desolate and abandoned.
Then he suddenly heard it…unmistakably the voice of his Ma, whispering in his ear, like she was sitting right beside him.
He half turned. “Ma, is that you?”
There was nothing there, but the insistent voice continued. “I brought you up better than this son…mocking the Lord just because you’ve had a bit of bad luck, feeling sorry for yourself.”
He opened his mouth to argue and then snapped it shut again, on two accounts. One he never argued with his Ma, and two, well, what was he doin’ talking to a darned ghost anyway.
‘Remember what I told you, boy, when you were a young ’un…to love the dear Lord, be respectful of him?’
Jess bowed his head. “Sure, Ma,” he whispered, “but life’s kinda hard right now, you know?”
“That’s why you need to take stock then, son. Think what you want above all other and wish for it on that star…the one you’re so swift to mock. You must have belief, son, not just in our Lord to guide you, but in yourself too.”
“Ma?”
But the forest was silent save for the lonely cry of a distant wolf and the wind sighing in the pines.
Was that all it had been -- the wind in the trees, or his dear Ma? He never knew.
But that had been the turning point in his life he knew now.
He had been hell bent on getting out of the country altogether was heading for Canada. Maybe try his hand at trapping, was a good living to be made folk said. But the most important thing was that he wouldn’t be put in the position of being forced into yet another shoot-out. Nobody would know him up there he thought, nobody wanting to match their gun against his. Then he thought long and hard about what his Ma had said, if indeed it was his Ma and not just his mind playing tricks. He must have belief in himself….
He turned and looked up at the Christmas Star, twinkling high in the sky and a feeling of hope and optimism suddenly washed over him and he wished on the star. Wished for a home, good friends and a fresh start where he could live peaceably.
“West,” he said quietly to himself, “I’ll follow the star West, not go North. I’ll head West, maybe call in at Denver, catch up with Millie.” Yes, it would be real good to see Millie again. She’d understand how he was feeling. Yup it sure would be good to see little Millie and with that thought in mind he fell into a deep restorative sleep.}
“I guess I never told ya as to how bad I felt when I landed in Denver and found you’d moved on Millie” he said now. It was almost dusk in the sickroom and he thought he might light the lamp in a little while, maybe have a coffee. Although the thought of any food or drink almost made him gag, knowing how long it was that Millie had gone without.
{He’d ridden into Denver in early Spring, having worked his way through the worst months of the year at a variety of ranches and livery stables. Now when he entered town he couldn’t wait to catch up with Millie and her Ma Peggy Johnson too.
Gee it seemed like a lifetime ago that they’d all lived on the panhandle. How had his life gone so wrong he wondered? But things would get back on track, he was sure of that. He’d see Millie and tell her of his plans to go West find a place to call home maybe she’d even tag along.
It was when he’d knocked on the door of virtually every Hotel and Boarding house in Denver that he finally came to the Rising Sun Hotel. That was it he remembered now, that was the place Mrs Johnson’s friend owned.
He marched in a suitably welcoming smile on his face and asked at the desk for the Hotel Housekeeper. A few minutes later an elderly, stern looking matron arrived.
“Yes young man?”
Jess looked perplexed, “Er, I’m sorry Ma’am,” he said touching his hat, “I was lookin’ for Mrs Peggy Johnson and her daughter too maybe, Mrs Johnson’s the Housekeeper here?”
“Not anymore she isn’t,” she replied brusquely.
“Huh?”
“She doesn’t work here anymore and neither do the two girls Lily and Maisie was it?”
“Millie, Millie Johnson,” he said equally curtly. “Where did they go Ma’am and why, I thought Mrs Johnson’s friend owned the place?”
“Her friend died,” she said succinctly, “got the fever come Christmas Eve, dead before New Year.”
Jess took in this piece of information and then said, “But Millie, her Ma and Miss Lily, they’re well didn’t get sick too?”
“Not to my knowledge young man they had left before I came, the place was sold on you see.”
“So, you don’t know where they went?”
“No, I told you, they’d gone before I ever landed in town, but they moved on that I do know apparently the older woman, Johnson you say?”
“Yup that’s it, Mrs Peggy Johnson.”
“Umm well her sister turned up and they travelled off together, West I believe, maybe North. It was a few months ago now anyway.”
Jess sighed deeply, “So would anyone in town know where they were headed?”
“I doubt it. They were strangers around here you see, from Texas or some far flung place so I believe. Anyway, they just kept to themselves and when they took off didn’t say as to where they were heading, so I hear. So, do you want a room or not young man?”
Jess took the room, wondering which one had been Millie’s. Gee he wanted to see her so dang much.
He decided to cut his losses and stay around in town for a while, hoping maybe he’d find someone who knew the Johnsons. Maybe find some work so that he could stock up on trail grub and move on again.It seemed like his life on the drift wasn’t over yet he thought darkly.
It was the following day whilst he was standing in a saloon drinking beer with the last of his money that he was suddenly slapped on the back making him slop his beer and practically choke.
“Why Jess Harper you old son of a gun, what are you doing in these parts!”
He spun around and stared into the eyes of one Pete Morgan.
Pete and Jess went way back having ridden in a couple of gangs together in their wild youth. Yup Pete was sure a wild one and not to be completely trusted, Jess knew that. But Hell they had been good buddies in the old days and right now he was in need of a friendly face, having been at such a loss when he couldn’t catch up with Millie and her Ma.
It wasn’t long before the two men had cracked a bottle of Red Eye, courtesy of Pete and were well and truly drunk before the end of the evening.
“So where are ya staying?” asked Pete as the evening drew to a close.
Jess shrugged, “I dunno I just drank the last of my money with that beer you spilled over me,” he said, “I guess I’m bunking’ down in the livery with my good ol’ horse.”
“Nah, you come home with me buddy,” Pete said expansively, throwing an arm around Jess’s shoulders. “I’ve got me a real cushy job workin’ for an old widow woman on the edge of town. I guess she could use some more help said so just the other day and I reckon you’ll fit the bill just dandy.”
“I dunno,” said Jess even in his inebriated state smelling a rat.
“It’s sweet as a nut buddy, just trust me huh?”
Well there were some words which should never have been in the same sentence Jess reflected sadly much later. Um… Pete Morgan and trust…nope just didn’t sit well together those words.
But what the hell, he was as drunk as a skunk and found himself waking up in Widow Evans scruffy bunkhouse the following morning, much to his surprise, with the grand pappy of all hangovers which was no surprise.
It quickly became evident that the only reason the widow woman needed extra help was because Pete did sod all around the place. By the end of the first week Jess had just about had enough and told Pete in no uncertain terms that he pulled his weight, or he was back on his own.
Well that seemed to do the trick and Pete made an effort, for a while at least.
Widow Evans was about as miserable an old woman as Jess had ever come across. But she paid dang well, being richer than she had any right to be, having nagged her poor husband into an early grave, inheriting his fortune. However difficult she was Jess had been brought up that you did a fair day’s work for a fair day’s pay. So that’s exactly what he did, working long hard hours tending her herd of Long Horns and even doing some mustang breaking for a neighbour in his free time.
He also spent a lot of time in town with Pete and they even had a photograph taken together when the travelling fair came into town.
Jess had never had a photograph taken before and carefully stowed it away in his wallet.
“So, do ya think it’s true what they say, the camera steals your soul,” he asked Pete, only half joking.
His buddy shrugged, “I dunno, but I already sold out to the devil, so makes no odds to me.” They had both laughed at that…at the time.
With their new-found wealth, courtesy of Widow Evans’ generous wages, the men took the opportunity to play the gaming tables. However, whereas Jess was happy to walk away once he’d played a few hands of poker, Pete became completely addicted to the roll of the dice or the fall of the cards. It wasn’t long before he was in debt all over town and Jess had to bail him out more than once, although he was darned sure he was reimbursed come pay day.
It was to be Pete’s gambling habit that was to end their friendship once and for all.
They had been playing poker all evening and Jess had won a small fortune, whilst Pete was again on a losing streak that went on and on.
“Come on just leave it buddy before you get in debt again,” Jess said, “because I sure as hell ain’t bailing’ you out again Pete. You’ve gotta learn when to cut your losses and stop before you get in too deep and you ain’t gonna do that iffen I keep subbing you.”
“So, who are you my goddamn Pa!” slurred Pete being half drunk and real angry.
“There just ain’t no reasoning with you is there? I’m heading home,” said Jess angrily before turning on his heel and leaving.
Pete returned to the card table and sat down, but the dealer was having none of it.
“So you got a stake then boy?”
Pete sighed, “I guess not….”
“Well then….”
He rose and followed Jess over to the livery and was just in time to see him throwing his saddle over Traveller’ s back.
Something malicious came into Pete’s shifty eyes he needed money and Jess had it….
If Jess hadn’t had that extra glass of Red Eye to celebrate his win on the card table he might have noticed Pete advancing, but as it was he crept up and pistol whipped him from behind, Jess instantly falling at Traveller’ s feet, dropping like a stone.
By the time he finally came around, the following morning, Pete had lost all Jess’s money at the card table, quit his job and left town

Chapter 10
“I guess he did me a favour looking back on it,” Jess said wryly now, casting Millie a loving look, “I reckon I’d never have found you in Laramie iffen it hadn’t been that I was chasin’ after that no good scum Pete Morgan.”
“Wouldn’t have ever met Slim and the others either. Although the way we met I guess Slim wasn’t all that happy to know me back then. Not after he’d caught me napping by the lake on his ‘private land’. He turned his rifle on me ya know Mill and gave me my marchin’ orders. He weren’t too impressed when I turned the tables on him and took his gun either,” he said with a low chuckle.
The next thing I know, I’m holed up at the relay station teaching this real nice kid how not to get fleeced at cards and Slim comes barging in calling the odds. Seems young Andy was his kid brother. I guess it was a miracle he asked me to stay on after that. But well I helped him out some sorting out that bastard Bud Carlin…Pete Morgan got his just rewards too…so I guess it all ended well. And so he asked me to stay on.” He said with a sad smile, remembering those early bitter sweet days when he seemed to attract trouble like a magnet.
“Gee Millie I sure was lucky to find a friend like Slim…He’s been by every darned day to see how you are ya know. Bullying me into eating…washing up…He came by yesterday. Said I was a mess and to go get a wash and shave. He said as how you’d be real mad seeing the state I was in when you woke up. Yup, he’s been a good friend to me and I’ve been real ornery lately. But I guess he’s cut me some slack, knowing how dang worried I am about you Mill…Anyway where was I sweetheart? Oh yeah, finding you in Laramie that was so, so good….”
“I guess I’d been workin’ for old Slim for nigh on six months. Boy did he need some educating up when it came to drinkin’, gambling and romancin’ the ladies though. Jeez the guy didn’t have a clue,” he said with an exaggerated sigh.
“Old Jonesy was no dang help either. I guess being a good friend of Slim and Andy’s Pa he felt honour bound to keep them on the straight and narrow. So, any drink was practically locked away and brought out for ‘medicinal purposes only’. Well I’ll tell ya Mil, that didn’t suit me none and I soon made friends with old Tom at the Laramie saloon. Taught Slim to drink Red Eye there, until he chucked for a week, helped him find his way around a poker table, oh yeah and we kinda got to doin’ a little romancin’ with some of the saloon girls too. Of course, none of them was anywhere near as purty as you sweetheart. But you hadn’t arrived in town then had you? Do you remember when we first met up again? Guess I do like it was just yesterday….”

It had been a real hard day on the ranch every dang thing that could go wrong did. It was fall and we’d been bringing the stock down to the lower ground, near the ranch for the winter. A fence on the home pasture had gone down, so that had to be mended. Then garldarn it when we did a head count we were seven critters short. Well of course Slim wouldn’t leave it ‘til morning to find ‘em, so it was real late when we finally set off for town.
However, when they landed there it was real quiet as the weather had closed in and they figured that was a good enough reason to explain to old Jonesy as to why they’d stayed over. What with him being kinda strait laced when it came to romancin’ out of wedlock that is. So yeah, they figured they’d book in at the Boarding House and just see how their luck panned out.
As it turned out they were plumb out of luck though…Jess reckoned that had been kinda obvious when he’d opened his eyes that morning and saw the sleety rain and knew he’d gotta spend the day in the saddle chasin’ dang ornery beeves. Then they had to go traipsing’ halfway across the territory looking out fer the lost ‘uns and so they were real late into town. Then to cap it all there wasn’t a saloon girl insight. Except for big Gloria, who must be about ninety and real ornery too, Jess thought bitterly.
“So where are Betsy and Gina?” Jess asked hopefully thinking maybe they were out back prettying themselves up…seein’ as Jess and Slim often bought them drinks on a Saturday night.
Tom threw Jess a weary look, “Gone, the pair of them decided to go back east, would have left me high and dry, ’cept for her,” he said throwing Gloria a disdainful glance.
“But they didn’t?” prompted Slim.
“Nope to be fair they’ve got me a couple of lovely girls. They met them on a trip to Cheyenne. Seems the Ma and old auntie of one of the girls is running a Boarding House over there where Betsy and Gina were staying. She comes from your neck of the woods too Jess. Texas someplace…panhandle I think,” he said scratching his head as he tried to recall what the sweet brunette had told him.
He gave up after a minute and gave the cowboys a big grin, “Anyway they’re both real cute, no what I mean?” he said shaping a curve with his hands and winking.
“Well sure they are,” said Jess grinning back, “iffen they’re from Texas, we’ve got all the best darn girls down there.”
“So, when do we see these visions of loveliness?” asked Slim with a wink at Jess.
“Oh, you’ll just have to be patient boys, they ain’t starting work until Monday, giving them a chance to settle in,” he said casting his eyes up towards the ceiling.
“You’re moving them in here?” asked Slim raising a quizzical eyebrow.
“Yup, the brunette’s got first floor front and the cute little blond the large room at the back....”
“Oh really?” Asked Jess also raising an eyebrow….
“Hey, hold yer horses boys there ain’t anything like that going on!” said Tom flushing up. “You two know I run a good clean house here. You want that kinda thing you’ll need to go down to the Last Chance,” he said. Referring to a low dive on the edge of town where the whiskey was watered down and the Working Girls were pretty rough and ready.
Jess pulled a disgusted face, “No thanks Tom, guess I’d rather go without than visit with those girls,” he said before grinning over at Slim.
“So when did you ever go without?” Slim muttered, knowing full well that Jess could usually find a willing girl without having to resort to paying for it.
Tom was still looking kinda peaked so Slim smiled over at him.
“We were just kidding you Tom we know you run a real wholesome place here.”
“Um and so are these two, real wholesome. A real nice class of girl, well brought up you can tell. But real tough too…I guess you wouldn’t go messin’ with that Millie, Jess. Don’t you go trying it on boy…else I reckon she’d show you the door. Yup I guess she could be a fiery little thing if a man got too familiar.”
But Jess had stopped listening…he just stood there gaping, his glass suspended halfway to his mouth and a look of shock in his deep blue eyes.
Slim was the first to notice Jess’s change of demeanour, “Jess what’s up pard?” He said quietly.
But Jess just ignored him, “Millie…did you say Millie, Tom?”
“Huh, yup that’s it.”
“She’s got dark hair, big brown eyes and real curvy?”
“Yup,” said Tom looking puzzled, “so you know her then Jess?”
But he never replied, he was already taking the stairs two at a time and seconds later hammering on the door of the first floor front.
It was thrown open almost at once and she stood there in her stocking feet, her robe tied tightly around her tiny waist and her dark locks hanging loose framing her beautiful heart shaped face. A face that first displayed inquiry, quickly followed by shock and finally pure delight as she registered who it was.
“Jess…oh Jess, you found me,” she exclaimed with joy.
They stared at each other for a good minute before he cupped her face in his large hands and leaning in kissed her, so gently and tenderly that she never wanted it to stop….
Then she heard a cough and pulling away she looked past Jess to see Tom and a tall blond man looking quizzically at her.
“It’s OK Tom,” she said grinning, “Jess is an old friend,” then looking back at him said softly, “my very best friend,” and with that the couple disappeared into her room closing the door quietly behind them.
They entered Millie’s large welcoming room and already she had made it feel like home. From the patchwork comforter on the large double bed to the girlie fripperies dotted about the place and the waft of her perfume. it was just so much ‘Millie’ and Jess reveled in it all.
Once the door was shut and locked he turned to her and said, “Gee sweetheart it’s just so dang good to see you.”
Then they had both started talking at once, so much to share since their last meeting. About how her Ma had joined up with her Aunt after things hadn’t worked out in Denver….
“It was OK in Cheyenne,” she said now, “but heck a girl, don’t wanna live with her Ma forever and so when Ginny and Betsy were stopping on their way back East and said there were a couple of real good jobs up for grabs, well Lily and I jumped at it and Ma’s only a Stage ride away….”
Jess thought that was just perfect, Millie’s kind understanding old Ma close by…but not too dang close
,They talked and talked until the early hours and then with the natural progression of things they finally made sweet love all night long at least what was left of it….
When dawn finally broke Jess suddenly felt kinda bad.
“Hey honey, I guess your reputation will be in tatters with me staying the night an’ all.”
But she just gave him a loving look.
“I figure that’s our business and nobody else’s huh?” she replied in her Texan drawl.

And hell, if that was good enough for Millie it was sure good enough for him. Thereafter if anyone should question their relationship that was his stock answer. However, he usually made a concerted effort to be as circumspect as possible, when visiting, so as not to cause her any embarrassment….}
Now he sat there in the sickroom remembering that first night together, the first of so many nights that he’d spent in Millie’s warm and comforting room. Making love was so, so special. Now at the thought of it he felt tears pricking the back of his eyes and he gave a little involuntary groan.
“Millie, honey” he whispered, “do ya remember it, that first time in your room here in Laramie…it was so dang good wasn’t it.”
He suddenly felt it, the unmistakable slight pressure of her hand, still clasped in his. Then as he watched her face in wonder… the eyelids flickered and her eyes finally opened…Just for a second he saw a dazed look in her beautiful brown eyes before they closed again and she gave a little sigh, as though the effort was just too much for her.
“Millie!” he yelled excitedly, “Come on Mill wake up, you can do it!” But once more she lay there impassively.
Jess gave a soft moan sinking his head into his hands.
Then he felt a light pressure of someone gently squeezing his shoulder and he looked up into Slim’s concerned face.
“Easy pard,” he said softly.
“Did you see Slim?” He asked eagerly, “Did you see her open her eyes for a second?” As he so hoped that he hadn’t imagined the whole thing.
“Yes, I did Jess, I saw it…I’ll go fetch Sam.”
As Doc Sam moved to take Jess’s place at the bedside, to examine his patient, Jess stood and staggered a little and Slim grabbed his arm supporting him.
He gently led his partner to a nearby chair and watched as he slumped down in it, looking completely exhausted. His usually lean frame looked almost fragile, his face gaunt and his eyes sunken with dark rings around them. Slim’s heart went out to him and he could only guess as to the feelings of utter despair seesawing into hope that his buddy was currently experiencing.
After a few minutes the doctor left his patient and crossed the room….
“Well?” Jess gasped urgently.
“It’s a good sign that she’s responded to you Jess,” he said earnestly, but then looking deeply concerned said, “I’m just afraid it may be too little too late, she’s very fragile buddy, I’m not sure we can pull her back ….”
Jess threw him a tormented glance before returning his gaze to where Millie lay as if carved from stone….
“I can’t give up on her now Sam, I just can’t,” he whispered.
“You need to rest yourself Jess you’re barely functioning as it is. She wouldn’t want it to be this way…you running yourself into the ground. Why not let Carrie sit with her for a while and you get some food and sleep huh?”
Jess just shook his head dismissing the notion without thought.
“What do I need to do…to build her up some…make her stronger?” He asked, again his deep blue, troubled eyes searching those of the older man.
Sam sighed shaking his head at his friend’s tenacity. Garldarn it he’d collapse before he gave way and ceased caring for his girl he thought now in grudging admiration at his strength of his spirit…and his love. That could just be the thing that tipped the balance in Millie’s favour Sam thought now, Jess’s unfailing deep love for his woman.
“Well Sam?” Jess growled and the good doctor was dragged back from his reverie.
“Uh, it’s a good sign that she opened her eyes, no matter how fleetingly and it could be that her swallowing reflex is coming back. What you need to do is just press a water laden sponge to her lips. Carrie will show you how and watch to see if she is swallowing. If so we need to get her hydrated again, I warn you it will be a slow frustrating business Jess…but it’s her only chance. She’s been way too long without fluids that’s what she’ll crave now. As she comes back to us,” he finished on a positive note… What the hell if he really didn’t think she could make it…at least he could give his friend some hope…until it finally ran out.
Chapter 11
“I’m really worried about him Slim,” said they doc later that day as they sat in Sam’s study sipping a coffee. “He’s barely eaten or drunk anything since the accident, save the odd cup of bitter coffee and that won’t do him much good.”
Slim shook his head and ran an abstracted hand through his hair, “I don’t see that there’s much we can do about it Sam, you’ve heard him. Dadgum it he sure was first in line when the good Lord was doling out stubborn that’s for sure.”
Sam threw him a weak grin, “Well you’ve got that right Slim. Maybe if we get Daisy over he’d heed her?”
“Um…except Daisy’s sick right now,” said Slim sadly.
“Huh, you didn’t say, do you want me to visit?”
“Nope, nothing serious Sam, just a bad head cold but she was worried about passing it on to Millie, that’s why she hadn’t been over.”
Sam nodded sympathetically and they lapsed into a companionable silence.
“It doesn’t look like they’ve been able to locate Millie’s Ma either, apparently the neighbours say the family took off on a trip someplace, but nobody knows where,” Slim said after sipping his coffee thoughtfully for a few minutes.
Sam shook his head sadly again “Mrs Johnson will never get over this,” he said quietly.
“Jess neither,” said Slim, closing his eyes as if in pain and taking a deep breath, “Goddamn it Sam…is there nothing?”
Sam shook his head, “Only a miracle now Slim, I’d say she’s got hours rather than days. Maybe if he can get some fluids into her…but…I just don’t hold out much hope, no….”
Meanwhile Jess had patiently squeezed tiny drops of water onto Millie’s lips and eventually he had been rewarded by her swallowing. He practically leapt up in the air cheering but controlled himself…and just carried on painstakingly offering drop after tiny drop of the precious liquid.
Once he was satisfied that she had drunk as much as she was able, he settled down once more to continue talking to her, his voice beginning to give out, his throat sore, making him sound slightly hoarse.

“I just can’t figure as to why it took us so dang long to get it together,” he said quietly. “Heck everyone else could see we were perfect together…except us I guess,” he said glancing at her with a grim smile, shaking his head slightly. “I figure after Maria it was real hard for me to get close to anyone for a long time,” he continued. Referring to his beautiful Irish fiancée’ who had been brutally murdered in front of him in the Saloon. * See #1 Loved, Lost, Survived.
“You never met her Mil, but I figure you’d have liked her. She was real feisty like you, didn’t take no messin’ from anyone. I dang near died of a broken heart after she was killed,” he said honestly, “I guess that’s why I didn’t risk fallin’ in love again…not for a long time anyways.
But like I’ve told ya before sweetheart, you and me, what we have together is real precious and I’ve always kept it safe just here,” he said tapping his heart.
“And we’ve gotten something I never had with Maria too…a shared history…and that’s powerful important I figure…Sure there were women in my life after her but…” he shrugged, “I dunno…. somethin’ always went wrong,” he said shaking his head ruefully again.
“Then when you landed in my life again it just seemed real natural to hook up the way we always had done. The way we were together...the nights I stayed with you…how it was just our business and nobody else’s huh Mil,” he said softly sighing at the memory of all the sweet lovemaking they had shared over the years. How they were completely open and honest with each other, spending their time together if they weren’t dating anyone else and that seemed to work OK for them, for a time at least.
“I guess it was when you hooked up with that guy who was travelling on the Wagon Train going West that I first realised I just couldn’t lose you. Remember honey?” He asked, pausing before continuing.” I asked you why you’d decided not to go and you made a crack about havin’ to come back home iffen you broke a finger nail,” he chuckled at the memory. “You of all people, hell you’d have done that journey real easy and I asked you the same thing again, later in bed, ‘Why didn’t ya go with him’ Remember what you said …huh?”
She remained impassive….
“You said, ‘Because he wasn’t you Jess’. I guess that’s when I first realised I couldn’t lose you to another man,” he sighed deeply and closed his eyes for a moment before continuing.
“Then that following Thanksgiving we went off to the barn to have some time alone supposed to be washin’ up after supper and we ran off like a couple of naughty kids. That’s when I asked you properly iffen you’d be my girl…exclusive like…Asked if we could have a proper understanding Millie. And we do…you know that dontcha? We have an understanding. See that’s why I can’t let you go…I just can’t,” he whispered his eyes suddenly welling with unshed tears. “We’re gonna be Wed someday Millie. Just as soon as you say the word, when you’re better huh…huh Millie?” He rasped the tears that had been welling up finally spilling over…before he brushed them angrily away..

He’d offered her more water painstakingly dripping tiny amounts into her mouth…noticing that she was swallowing properly now…and there was a faint flush to her cheeks…just the very palest of pinks…but it was there….
It was late afternoon when he finally had to give in to sleep. Couldn’t keep his eyes open a moment longer. Sitting forwards in the bedside chair he put his head on his arms, resting on the bed…and finally slept properly for the first time in several days.
An hour or so later Millie stirred. After a moment her eyelids flickered, finally opened and she peered around the room looking bewildered.
Then she rolled her head on the pillow to see Jess head down on his arms, deeply asleep.
Reaching out a tentative hand she gently stroked his dark hair, the light of love shining in her soft brown eyes….

Jess was dreaming….
He and Millie were in the buckboard driving through an incredible storm. The rain was lashing down, thunder claps reverberated around the open desolate countryside and flashes of lightning rent the sky asunder. But somehow, they weren’t worried. In fact, when he glanced over at Millie she was looking skywards her face entranced. Her tongue out catching the restorative rain drops and she was laughing in delight. Then he looked out at the plain again and realised there must have been a drought, the earth and foliage looking brown and parched. But even as he watched, the vegetation started to become a deep lush green again. Then as he looked up the sun came out and a bright rainbow arched above them. He turned back to look at Millie and saw her face ecstatic at the wonder enfolding before her….
He pulled the buckboard team to a standstill and helping Millie down they strolled to the lake edge, looking out at a magnificent sunset.
He turned to her and saw the love in her beautiful eyes and the next thing they were in each other’s arms, kissing and whispering endearments. Jess felt her hand gently stroking his hair…her touch light as an angel’s wing…and gradually he awoke….

The dream had been so real…he could still feel her gentle touch on his hair….
Then as he gradually raised his head from his arms to check on her…he met her loving gaze.
Shocked disbelief finally transformed to joy as he croaked, “Millie?”
She smiled and then mouthed, ‘Water?’
He leapt up and with shaking hands poured her a drink and carefully supported her head and shoulders as she took some tiny sips, before nodding in thanks.
When she finally managed to speak, her voice was just a hoarse whisper, “Jess you look terrible what’s wrong?”
He grinned back at her, “Nuthin’ absolutely nuthin’,” he said, “and you look beautiful sweetheart…just beautiful”…before his voice broke and then his face contorted with emotion.
Doc Sam tapped on the door, entering with Slim, “Your pard is just leaving,” he said quietly “wanted to say so long….”
Then both men stopped in their tracks at the scene before them.
Jess was leaning over the bed holding Millie’s still body in his arms, his shoulders shaking with emotion….
Slim and Sam exchanged a look of dismay.
Then sighing deeply Slim said softly, “Let me deal with him Sam,” and walking over he put a gentle hand on Jess’s shoulder.
“I’m so damn sorry pard,” he whispered.
After a second Jess relinquished his hold on his girl and moved to one side to reveal a tearful, but very much alive Millie.
He turned a tear stained, triumphant face up to his friend, “It’s OK Slim,” he croaked, “she’s gonna be just fine.”
It was a little later that Sam finally managed to get Jess to take a break.
“I really need to check over her vital signs, do a thorough examination,” the doc said kindly, “I need some privacy with my patient Jess, OK?”
He glanced down at Millie and she gave him a loving look, “Go,” she whispered, “get some rest honey.”
He nodded and finally mooched off to the living room intending to stretch out on the couch for half an hour or so.
Slim had dived over the road to give the glad tidings to Lily and Tom. And Mrs Braddock, the housekeeper was out visiting friends so Jess would have the place to himself, or so he thought.
As he entered the sitting room Carrie jumped up from the couch looking surprised to see him.
“Jess how is she?” she asked fearing the worst as he looked so haggard and exhausted.
He couldn’t speak for a moment and then finally whispered, “She’s gonna be OK Carrie, your Pa’s just checking her over.”
A hand flew to her mouth and she gave a little gasp before dashing into his open arms.
“Thank God,” she said as he held her close. His lips brushed the top of her head and he felt all the pain and despair of the last few days begin to slip away as he relaxed in his dear friend’s loving embrace.
At least that was how Jess was feeling, immense relief and sharing his joy with a good friend…which is how he always thought of Carrie nowadays.
Carrie however was experiencing a whole bunch of emotions as she snuggled in his arms. A wave of love, so strong it near took her breath away. Followed by an equally strong feeling of guilt, how could she be lusting after poor, sick Millie’s man this way? But all she wanted was to stay in the safe circle of his arms, feeling his taught body so close against hers, his heart beating as one with her own. The desire to look up into those deep blue eyes and finally kiss him was so strong that she had to pull away….
“I’ll…j…just go check to see if Pa needs me,” she stuttered before running off.
She was back again shortly and Jess stood up politely as she entered.
“You’re right,” she said calmly, “Millie should make a full recovery in time Jess.”
Then taking a deep breath and plastering a smile on her face said kindly, “Mrs Braddock has finished for the day, but how about I rustle you up some ham and eggs huh?”
Whether or not he had just stood up too quickly or perhaps it was because he hadn’t eaten for so long, but Carrie gazed across at him to see a dazed look in his eyes. Then he rubbed a hand over his suddenly deathly pale face, before his legs crumpled and he fell in a dead faint.
She ran forwards unable to catch him before he crashed onto the rug, out cold.
She knelt beside him and gently turned him over on to his back and gazed in dismay at the almost grey complexion and dark blue shadows below his closed eyes.
Running from the room she returned seconds later with a damp cloth and tenderly wiped his brow, brushing the tangle of dark curls back from his forehead before she leaned over and tenderly kissed him there.
As Slim cleared his throat to warn her of his presence, as he entered the room, she jumped back flushing guiltily.
“I was just….”
“I can see what you were doing,” broke in Slim with irony, then coming over he hunkered down by his buddy who was still out cold.
“So, what happened?”
“I don’t really know, I offered to cook him some supper and then he went really pale and just passed out.”
Slim gave her a faint smile, “Now iffen that was Millie offering to cook for him I could understand it…but you’re a great cook.”
Carrie dismissed his light-hearted banter with an annoyed glance before turning back to Jess, “I’m worried,” she said quietly, “I’ll fetch Pa”
By the time she returned with Sam in tow, Jess was lying on the couch, helped up by Slim, looking shaky and embarrassed.
“Gee I’m sorry Carrie,” he said softly, “I didn’t mean to worry you. Just came over kinda dizzy.”
Sam checked him over and smiling said, “Nothing that a bit of sustenance won’t put right Jess.”
Then turning to his daughter said, “Just some light broth and maybe a biscuit dear, I reckon Jess here will have trouble digesting anything too heavy at first.”
“Yes Pa,” she said unable to meet either Jess or Slim’s eye as she bustled off at speed.
“She OK?” asked Jess, raising an eyebrow and nodding to the fast closing door.
Slim just looked down saying nothing.
“Sure she is Jess,” said Sam happily, “just kind of worn out with all this Millie business. She’s been really worried about her, about you both. Anyway young man it looks like your girl will make a full recovery, in time. But it will be a slow process Jess, you’re going to have to be patient OK?”
Well that was sure the understatement of the year Slim was to think later.
He’d left for home later that evening, full of the good news he would be able to impart to Daisy and Mike, promising to catch up with his buddy later in the week. But first he’d popped into the kitchen to say goodnight to Carrie.
He stood on the threshold for a moment watching her bent over the stove stirring the broth, her dark hair framing her delicately featured face, her eyes bleak.
She looked up as he entered the room and flushed a little.
“Are you OK?”
“Sure, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Come on Carrie you know darned well why, this is me you’re talking to. I know how you feel about him…remember?”
“I…I didn’t mean anything by it,” she suddenly blurted out, “it was just seeing him looking so pale and sick. It was nothing Slim, really.”
“Uh, well maybe Millie will be well enough to come to the ranch to convalesce soon. I guess that would be best all around huh?”
“No,” she said quickly, “I mean it’s no trouble nursing her here really it isn’t.”
“Carrie, honey, don’t do this to yourself, you know it’s hopeless don’t you? Remember all you went through last time, when Jess insisted you go back east to college. He did that because he could see you could never be right together that way. It just wouldn’t work and I guess you know that in your heart.”
She just looked down a single tear sliding down her flushed cheek.
“And there’s something else Carrie. I don’t think Jess can deal with anything else right now, he’s pretty much at the end of his tether. Please don’t give him anything else to worry about huh?”
She just nodded, “OK,” she whispered eventually and turning away from him said, “Night Slim.”
He stood irresolute for a moment longer before making for the door, where he paused for a moment, “Goodnight Carrie,” he said softy and then was gone.
She stared after him for a moment and then wiping the tear away continued to make supper, a determined look now in her eyes….
*******
Well if Jess was to think that Millie was over the worst he was sadly mistaken.
She had managed water and was much more herself once she was re hydrated. But her stomach stubbornly refused to accept solids and she chucked up day after day.
Jess was still constantly at the bedside and just took being thrown up over on a daily basis in his stride, although when Millie began to look so fragile and pale again the alarm bells started ringing.
When he’d had to clean her up for the third time that day he began to despair that she would ever eat normally again.
“What in hell can we do?” he asked Carrie as he leaned on the kitchen wall watching her and Mrs Braddock prepare supper.
Then he suddenly realised he was in the presence of ladies and bowed his head, “Sorry Ma’am…Carrie,” he said quietly, “I didn’t mean to cuss, I’m just so blamed worried.”
“Of course you are son,” said Mrs Braddock kindly, always having had a soft spot for the wild young rancher, “Let’s try her on some of my nice beef broth, alright dear?”
Jess nodded his thanks but looked down, suddenly weary.
“Come on Jess let’s go and sit down,” Carrie said, “Pa will be home soon and we can have a drink before supper, Millie’s sleeping soundly so no need to fret.”
As he accepted the glass of her Pa’s best whiskey Carrie noticed his hand was shaking and on closer inspection she could see how weary and pale he looked himself.
“Jess are you alright?” She asked solicitously, her pretty face a study of concern.
“Heck, sure I am,” he said rather gruffly as he threw back the whisky grimacing as the fiery spirit hit his throat.
When he glanced over to where she had settled next to him on the couch he saw the hurt in her eyes and suddenly felt awful.
He took her hand and clasped it gently before looking deeply into her eyes, “Gee I’m sorry sweetheart, I never meant to be so dang sharp with ya, I’m just hurtin’ kinda bad right now, real worried Carrie forgive me huh?”
She looked down to where his large hand held her own and felt her heart might burst right out of her chest so fast was it beating, “There’s nothing to forgive silly,” she said lightly.
Jess finally began to relax. Whether it was the large whiskey on an empty stomach or the proximity of pretty little Carrie with her kind no nonsense attitude he didn’t know, but suddenly things seemed a tad brighter.
He stretched his legs out and losing his grip on her hand slipped his arm around her shoulders drawing her close so her head rested on his chest his lips gently kissing the top of her head.
“Gee Carrie, I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for Millie, your Pa too, I really appreciate it you know?”
His deep voice sounded even more gravelly and sexy than usual as her ear was against his chest and she nearly swooned at his closeness, but just said a casual, “That’s OK Jess, we’re just glad to be here for you both.”
Jess was completely oblivious as to the effect he was having on his young friend and just relaxed back, almost dozing off.
Sure, he and Carrie had been through some difficult times together in the past. That dang crush she had on him when she was just a kid he reflected…and then later there had been that business when she had thrown over her fiancé for him. Jeez that had been real hard on him as he was so darned attracted to her. But he knew it could never work out between them and that was all ancient history now.
Then there was that time just last year he remembered when Carrie and her Pa had been with him when he took Slim’s Aunt Jane on a trip up to paradise. (* See#50 Lone Wolf’s Secret) One evening he’d been real wary of young Carrie as Aunt Jane had stirred up the past giving the young woman hopes that she and Jess could make it together. However, when he’d backed off some she had seemed to accept the situation.
Now things were back on track he thought sighing deeply, thank goodness. She sure was a swell girl he reflected now. And he so appreciated all the support his good friends had given him throughout the nightmare he’d been living through for the last few weeks and on that thought he finally drifted off to sleep.
Carrie closed her eyes and inhaled the combination of soap, leather, fresh air and a slight aroma of horse that always hung about Jess and could have cried with a mixture joy and despair. How could it be so wrong to love somebody this much? But she knew in her heart that it was…oh so very wrong.
When Sam arrived home later he walked in to find Carrie asleep in Jess’s arms, his buddy out for the count too and snoring softly.
He stood watching them for a few minutes casting his mind back to the fifteen-year-old Carrie who had pledged undying love for the wild young cowhand. Then just a few years ago, things had been much more complex between the pair, with Carrie having dumped her fiancé for Jess. But very sensibly Jess had said iffen she couldn’t decide who she wanted to marry then maybe it should be nobody until she grew up some. Sam had heartily endorsed this notion. Although now watching the sleeping pair a little part of him wished that Jess had become his son in law. He knew he’d have to go a dang long way to find a better one.
But no, Jess had been firm that it couldn’t work between the pair and knowing the way his daughter fussed and fretted over him. Sam knew in his heart of hearts that his buddy was right. Carrie would be forever in fear for his life, the way he was constantly in trouble dodging bullets or falling from half crazed mustangs, nope he was just too much of a liability for his dear daughter to deal with Sam knew.
Millie, on the other hand, had grown up with Jess and his daredevil ways and so it came as no surprise to him that she took everything Jess did in her stride. Maybe it was their shared history, he thought now sagely, holding them together and shielding them from anything the world threw at them. The strength that came from complete knowledge and trust they had of each other? Yup Jess had more than shown his love and loyalty to dear Millie over the last few weeks. In fact, the doctor secretly thought that it was the power of love which had brought her back from the brink rather than any medical interventions.
Now as he gave a subtle cough to wake them. Jess opened bleary dazed eyes, looking vaguely around him and finally grinned in welcome.
Carrie on the other hand, looked decidedly guilty and embarrassed as she awoke and quickly made her excuses to leave the room.
Her father looked after her, a troubled look in his wise brown eyes, then turning to Jess, “Is Carrie alright?”
“Huh? Oh yeah, I guess so. I was kinda sharp with her earlier, but I think she forgave me,” he said lazily stretching, “I guess I’ll go and see iffen Ma Braddock’s broth will do the trick with Millie huh?” He said with a cheeky grin, before mooching off.
Sam looked after him a smile on his face, well his daughter might be kind of smitten again, but she sure hadn’t had any encouragement from Jess he knew that. Darn it, he thought then, not again. Why oh why couldn’t Carrie find a nice boy of her own age, because as sure as God made little green apples Jess was never, ever going to leave Millie.
It was a couple of days later when Sam felt he must really broach the subject with Jess. He got the opportunity one evening when Carrie was busy washing Millie and settling her down for the night.
Jess was lounging in the living room, digesting the wonderful meal Mrs Braddock had provided and also rejoicing in the fact that Millie now seemed to be on the mend and was starting to eat normally, albeit small portions.
Sam came in and poured Jess a whiskey and both men sat quietly for a while before Sam finally raised the subject that had been bothering him.
“I er, don’t know quite how to say this buddy,” he said quietly.
Jess’s head shot up and he looked wary for a moment before throwing his friend a large grin.
“It’s OK Sam I guess I know what you’re gonna say. Millie is well enough for me to take her home huh? Well we sure don’t wanna overstay our welcome and I appreciate all you’ve done really I do.”
Sam put his hand up to stop his friend, “No Jess it’s not that. But yes, Millie will be well enough to travel soon and maybe it would be good for you to take her home sooner rather than later.”
Jess threw the doctor a puzzled look, “Why do I think there’s more to this than just me takin’ Millie home?”
Sam sighed and then decided he must just be up front.
“The thing is Jess, well I think Carrie has feelings for you again and I don’t want her getting hurt.”
Jess’s jaw dropped and he looked shocked, “Heck Sam neither do I, but we’re just fine, she’s over all that I’m sure she is.”
Sam shook his head sadly, “I think not buddy. Remember when I came in the other night and you’d fallen asleep?”
“I reckon I do yeah?”
“Well you looked just sleepy…normal…but Carrie looked real guilty, like I’d found her with her hand in the cookie jar.”
“Huh?” asked Jess, looking completely bamboozled now.
“Guilty Jess, real guilty about her feelings for you, Millie is one of her best friends she wouldn’t want to hurt her…ever…but if I know my little girl she really thinks she’s in love with you Jess.”
“No, that ain’t right.”
“Hear me out Jess I’ve been watching her really closely lately. I’ve seen the way she looks at you...trust me on this I know my daughter.”
“Hell Sam I ain’t encouraged her, I swear it. I’ve been too dang worried tryin’ to keep my woman alive to start flirtin’ with anyone else,” he said hotly.
Sam poured then both another whiskey and settled back in his chair.
“I never said you did Jess…this is all from Carrie, I know that. You see the thing is she gets really emotional when you’re upset, sort of feels the need to comfort you. She was the same when she first fell for you, saw how upset you were at Maria’s funeral. Lots of women are that way, their man is hurt and they have to comfort them…nurture them I guess. Heck that’s why she’s such a dang good nurse, caring the way she does.”
“That’s all very well Sam, but I didn’t ask fer no comforting. Dadgum it I just thought she was being friendly…thought we were just good buddies, ‘tis all.”
“I know Jess and I hate to ask you this but could you, well, make it plain to her that she has no chance? Because the way she is now, she’s going to make herself sick over you…I can see it.”
Jess sighed deeply and contemplated his whiskey for so long, Sam thought he wasn’t going to reply, but finally he downed the whisky and said gruffly, “OK what do you want me to do then Sam?”

Chapter 12
It was the following evening when Jess reluctantly put the plan into action.
He seized his opportunity when Mrs Braddock had finished for the night and was sewing in her private sitting room behind the kitchen, and Sam was out visiting a very sick patient when Jess seized his opportunity.
He and Carrie had taken an after supper coffee into the sitting room and Jess made sure he took one of the easy chairs rather than the couch and noticed Carrie give a little pout as she stretched out on the huge sofa herself.
Ever since Sam’s words the previous day Jess had indeed sensed a change in Carrie, noted the odd lingering look and occasional sigh…that would have gone unnoticed before.
Now he sat wishing he had something more substantial to drink than coffee…his brows knitted as he tried to figure out how to start.
“Your Pa says I can take my girl home in a day or so,” he said lightly and noted how Carrie’s face fell for a moment.
“Hey you’re pleased ain’t you,” he insisted, “glad she’s nearly well?”
“Oh sure” she said quickly, “I er…just think you shouldn’t rush these things, maybe she’d be safer here a while longer.”
“Nope Sam seems to think that Daisy can cope and of course I’ll be around too, it’ll be just fine and anyway I figure we need some time together to make plans.”
“Plans?” She echoed looking startled.
“Why sure, her being so sick an’ all has got me, thinkin’. I could have lost her Carrie. Maybe it’s time I made an honest woman of her and we got Wed,” he said. Well that was true anyway he thought fleetingly, he was going to sound Millie out as soon as they were home and had some privacy.
Carrie gave a startled gasp, “Wed?” she cried in shock.
“Sure honey,” he said feeling a complete heel now as he saw the shock and wretchedness in her beautiful eyes. He soldiered manfully on knowing that in the end it was for her own good, “It ain’t no secret we’ve gotten an understanding is it?”
She shook her head, “No I suppose not, but I thought Millie said you were waiting a year or two…said neither of you were ready for a family yet,” she whispered.
“Uh, she said that did she?” asked Jess, knowing full well it was the truth. Then more determinedly than he felt, said “Well plans can change I guess.”
It was when Carrie started weeping quietly that he could stand it no longer and jumping up from his chair he went and sat down beside her on the couch and took her in his arms.
“Carrie, sweetheart, don’t take on so. You know it was never right between us…never could be….”
She pulled away from him then looking deeply shocked, “You know don’t you…how I still feel about us?”
He just nodded, gently wiping a tear away from her cheek with a finger.
She flushed up, looking embarrassed, “Has Slim been talking to you?”
“Huh,” now it was Jess’s turn to look shocked, “No…why?”
“Oh nothing,” she said quietly.
“It was your Pa…he thought, well you know….”
“That I was still in love with you?”
When he said nothing, she reached up and kissed him.
Jess returned the kiss very tenderly, just for a fleeting second before pulling back, his eyes deeply troubled.
Then just shook his head almost imperceptibly, “No Carrie,” he finally replied, “this ain’t right.”
“Why,” she cried, “you want me …I know you do.”
He just shook his head again, “No I don’t Carrie, because I’m in love with Millie. Sure, you’re a beautiful girl, and wonderful to kiss, but that’s it we’re just friends now and that’s the way it has to stay you understand don’t you?” He asked more firmly.
She shook her head looking completely defeated, “What is it that you two have that’s so special?” she finally asked flatly.
Jess looked at once thoughtful.
At one time, heck before Millie’s illness, he might just have stubbornly said, ‘I love her…and that’s an end to it.’
But now he really considered the question in depth, maybe for the first time in his life…so why was what they had so special?
He gazed thoughtfully into the middle distance for a few minutes before turning back to Carrie and starting to speak in a soft measured way…
“See it’s this way sweetheart, Millie and I go way back. We were just little kids when we first hooked up…gotten history…the same kinda background too ya know?”
“Living in Texas, yes I know,” she replied.
“Not just in Texas but in poverty Carrie, poverty like you’ve never seen or know about. No food on the table some nights, hand me down clothes…no shoes….”
“Well I used to go barefoot sometimes,” she replied resolutely, “I can do the country girl thing too you know Jess…. I like to be free and wild just like you Texans.”
He just shook his head sadly, knowing she had no idea what he was talking about, “What in the snow?” he asked bitterly.
Her eyes were huge, “No…really? “
He just nodded, “And Millie there she didn’t have much more than I did, times were real hard but it never bothered us see, because I guess we didn’t know any different.”
“Then there was the way we lived…the way my Pa was…she knows all about that, knows that’s where I get my short fuse from too,” he said with a sad smile, “I guess that’s why it don’t bother her none…she understands me see?”
“So do I,” Carrie whispered.
He just shook his head again, “Nope, you get real upset when I lose it. You know you do.”
He was silently reliving all that he’d been talking to Millie about, regarding their childhood. It was really making sense to him now as he recalled it all. The truly amazing compassion the young Millie had shown him after his father had beaten him black and blue that time. Maybe that was why Millie was able to cope with all the beatings shootings and worse that had befallen Jess over the years, because she was just dang well used to it, he thought now.
But when he suggested that to Carrie she merely said she could learn not to get so upset, although they both knew that was just wishful thinking on her behalf.
Then he cast his mind back to when he’d been talking to Millie about how they’d made love that very first time, when he came back from the war. How she’d insisted that she wanted the first time to be with Jess. How she knew her own mind and was strong enough to cope with that adult decision. How she expected nothing in return…no ring, no promises, just his respect and that was how it had been. He smiled fleetingly at the fact that the retelling had elicited a small squeeze of his hand even though she was still deeply in the coma…she had heard him and remembered it too. Jeez he thought now, it had just felt so right back then, just a natural progression of their deep feelings for each other.
Then he cast his mind back to that time a few years back when Carrie had followed him down to Texas when he was on a mission helping out a friend* #17 See Wanted in Texas…She had lied to her Pa saying she was going back East to visit with her fiancé but had secretly met up with Jess. Hell he had been so surprised, no shocked when she turned up and even more so when she had offered herself to him saying she wanted the first time to be with him, just like Millie had all those years ago….
But with Carrie it felt anything but right and he turned her down flat. But still she had persisted…crying bitterly when he told her it just weren’t right. Yes, at the time he felt real close to her. Millie was seeing someone else in those days and he was sorely tempted, but he knew that with Carrie it would have been all wrong. She was way too immature emotionally to deal with that kind of relationship and he pretty much felt that nothing much had changed in the intervening years. Heck she was still only twenty he remembered now plenty of time to find the right boy and settle down but not with him…no it would be a disaster.
Now he knew he should remind her of the decision they had made back then, even though he knew it would hurt her. But when it came to it he just couldn’t do it and anyway she’s asked about his relationship with Millie, not her and maybe it would be better to leave the past in the past he decided.
He cast his mind back again to what he’d been talking about to his girl these last days and then he knew exactly what he had to say to Carrie.
He gently took her hand and looking deeply into her eyes said softly, “You see the thing is Carrie, Millie’s real special because she’s right here,” he said tapping his heart, just as he had done the other night. “I guess she found her way here first day I met that bossy little ol’ six year old Millie and over the years that’s where she’s stayed . No matter who I was seeing, or where I was, Millie never left me. I’ve held her in my heart all these years and I can’t let her go sweetheart. Hell Carrie, I’m flattered that you still feel this way about me but you’ve gotta see it just ain’t no good…I love Millie, always have and I guess I always will.”
When she was still in floods of tears half an hour later and there was nothing Jess could say or do to pacify her he left the room and made for Ma Braddock’s sitting room.
He tapped on the door and she admitted him a few moments later, “Why Mr Harper dear, whatever’ s the matter?” she asked seeing his agitated manner.
Jess sighed deeply before replying, “It’s Miss Carrie,” he said, “she’s kinda upset and I don’t seem to be helping any I wonder if,” and he threw her a pleading look…
Mrs Braddock was nobody’s fool and as much a part of the Doctor’s family as dear Daisy was at the ranch.
She knew exactly what Miss Carrie’s problem was alright but didn’t wish to embarrass Jess by revealing the truth.
“Oh the poor dear,” she said now getting up and heading for the door… “I thought she was looking a bit peaky, an early night and warm milk is what’s needed,” she said cheerfully and an attentive ear she added to herself, “Don’t you fret Mr Harper you go and check on Miss Millie, I’ll look after the young mistress.”
“Thanks, Mrs Braddock,” he said before heading for the hospital room, relief flooding over him.
The following morning at breakfast Carrie had red swollen eyes from crying herself to sleep and Jess and Sam exchanged a concerned look across the table but said nothing.
She ate her breakfast in silence and couldn’t even look Jess in the eye, although he made a valiant effort to chat normally to her.
Once she had left to go and check on Millie, Sam peered over to where Jess was sipping his coffee and looking weary.
“I take it you told her last night then?” Sam said quietly.
Jess nodded, “Gee I’m sorry Sam I guess I made a dang mess of it, couldn’t get her to stop cryin’ had to call on Mrs Braddock in the end…I guess she took it all kinda bad.”
“Oh well whatever you said it was never going to be easy,” said the doctor philosophically, “I’m just sorry I didn’t notice something earlier. I thought she was over all this.”
“Me too,” said Jess wearily, “I guess maybe me and Millie should move out as soon as we can huh?”
“Probably for the best,” Sam agreed rising from the table to go on his rounds. Then turning back said kindly, “None of this is your fault Jess…I don’t blame you for one minute.”
He was just finishing his coffee when Carrie came back into the dining room and slid into her seat opposite him.
He held his breath waiting for the outburst to come…but nothing.
He looked up from where he’d been studying the empty contents of his coffee cup and into her sad brown eyes.
“I’m so, so sorry Jess,” she said … “whatever must you think of me…the way I was last night.”
“Hey it’s alright,” he said quietly.
“No, no it isn’t, I acted like a spoilt little kid and I was so unkind to dear Millie, she’s my friend for goodness sake. I don’t know what came over me. I really am sorry…forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” he said gently clasping her hand across the table.
She swallowed hard, trying not to cry again, “Friends?” she asked, raising a perfectly arched eyebrow.
“Sure we are,” said Jess before getting up and making his excuses that he needed to go down to the livery and check on Traveller.
“Blamed horse probably eating his way through a small fortune in oats,” he said grinning down at her.
She returned his grin.
As he left the house he thought, not for the first time, women danged iffen I can understand ‘em.
Carrie watched him go and then sank her head in her hands, that had been the hardest thing she had ever done letting him just walk away like that but what choice did she have? She knew she could never be his lover but at least this way she could remain his friend.
Jess and Millie set off for the ranch the following day having borrowed the doctor’s light buggy. He assured them that he could do his rounds on horseback and would ride over and fetch it back on Sunday.
“I’ll come over to check my patient and maybe do a spot of fishing later huh?” he asked Jess raising a questioning eyebrow.
“Sure sounds a swell idea,” he agreed…
He’d hitched Traveller on behind and helped Millie up onto the seat, carefully tucking a blanket around her, before turning back to shake Sam’s hand.
“Thank you for everything you’ve done for us Doc,” he said sincerely, “We really appreciate it.”
Sam looked down slightly embarrassed, “I think this young lady owes her life to you Jess,” he said quietly, “not any intervention from medical science. Yes, I did all I could, but it was your tenacity…and stubborn streak that brought her through it my friend…of that I’m sure.”
Now it was Jess’s turn to look self-conscious but said nothing just winked up at Millie, who was looking down adoringly at him.
Then he finally turned to Carrie and gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek, “Thanks for all you’ve done sweetheart,” he whispered….
She had her back to her Pa and Millie and mouthed silently, “I’m so sorry….for everything.”
He threw her a look charged with understanding and compassion, but said nothing, merely squeezed her upper arm gently before turning briskly away and jumping up next to Millie. Then both waving merrily he clicked the old horse on to a lively trot.
Once they were out of town he slowed the pace a little and Millie looked eagerly around her reveling in the late summer countryside after the confines of the hospital room.
After a while she turned and smiled at Jess, “The doc’s right you know,” she said eventually.
“Huh?”
“What he said about it being you that pulled me through, it truly was. All those things you were telling me, all the shared memories…it made me really appreciate what we have together and I couldn’t leave that,” she finished looking tearful.
He took the reins in one hand and grasped her small hand with the other. “Hey don’t go gettin’ upset Millie, it’s all done with now and the doc says you’ll be good as new in a week or two.”
“Daisy won’t mind me staying so long?”
“Heck no, Slim said she was over the moon when he came by, reckons it gave her the opportunity to spring clean our room for you.”
“What? Oh Jess I can’t put you and Slim out of your room,” she said looking aghast.
“Sure, we’ll be just fine in the bunkhouse and anyway Mil I’d sleep in the dang hen house if it meant you being around every day,” he said squeezing her hand.
Then seeing she was again looking emotional he changed the subject.
“So you really heard everything I said when you were out of it?” he asked throwing her a quizzical glance.
“Uh, most of it I guess, it was like I was at the bottom of the lake and you were in a boat up above,” she said thoughtfully, “You sounded kind of raspy and strange though.”
“That’s ‘cos I talked so dang much my voice was practically givin’ up on me,” he said grinning at her.
She nodded, “It was like you were up there, but I couldn’t reach you. I tried so hard to open my eyes, but it was like I was frozen stiff and then I finally managed to squeeze your hand and I knew everything would be alright then.”
“Me too,” he said softly smiling lovingly down at her.

Chapter 13
When they arrived at the ranch everyone ran out and the young couple were made truly welcome. Even young Mike was at home from School as it was still the summer break. He was beside himself with excitement at not only having his hero Jess home, but also as an added bonus the beautiful, funny Miss Millie.
Daisy especially made her welcome, leading her into the house a friendly arm around her waist.
“I hope you haven’t gone to, too much trouble Daisy,” the younger woman said.
“Nonsense dear I’ve wanted to get in the boy’s room and give it a good spring cleaning for months,” she said cheerfully, “I’m just so glad to get rid of that all-pervading smell of leather and horse,” she continued with a chuckle.
“Well maybe we like the smell of horse,” said Jess winking at Millie.
“Off you go now Jess,” Daisy said bossily, “let me settle Millie in, she must rest after the journey; I’ve strict instructions from Doc Sam.”
Jess took the hint and wandered off to the barn to take care of Traveller and a few minutes later Slim joined him.
“So how are you doing Jess,” asked Slim taking in his buddy’s gaunt frame, the dark rings around his eyes and his generally weary demeanour telling the tale of the trauma he’d experienced over the last few weeks.
“Fine, just fine Slim, now I know she’s gonna be ok,” then he paused, “I’m real sorry I’ve had to leave you with all the work Slim. I’ll make it up to you.”
“Hey, it’s OK pard, I’m just so happy she’s going to be alright,” said Slim sincerely.
Daisy too made a big fuss of him when the men went into the house later for a coffee.
“Shush, dears,” she said as she came out of the kitchen, “Millie’s taking a little nap.” Then she looked at Jess properly for the first time. “Why Jess dear you look terrible,” she said honestly, “come and sit down dear, you’ve lost weight and you look really peaky.”
Jess rolled his eyes at Slim but sat down and endured her fussing good naturedly.
“Just kinda beat Daisy, but I’ll be fine in a day or two,” he insisted.
Later that night once everyone had turned in Slim and Jess sat out on the porch, the rare treat of a bottle of Red Eye between them.
After a while Slim turned to Jess and said, “Er, is Carrie alright?”
Jess’s head shot up and he said gruffly, “So why wouldn’t she be?”
“No reason,” Slim said quickly just checking.”
“Garl darn it you knew all along didn’t ya!” Jess exploded.
“Huh?”
“That she was gettin’…you know stuck on me again like last time. Garl darn it Slim all that fussin’ and frettin’ and cryin’ why in hell didn’t you tell me that was the way she was feelin’ huh?” He asked belligerently.
“Because she told me in confidence and made me promise not to say anything. Anyway, she wouldn’t have opened up to me if I hadn’t seen her with you that way,” he finished quietly.
“What way?” asked Jess warily.
“After you passed out the other day, she, well I caught her kissing you just on your forehead …you were still out of it I guess.”
“Uh, well that’ll be why I didn’t know anything about it,” Jess said with deep irony, “nor anything else until Sam mentioned something. I had to talk to her and then she started gettin’ real upset. I finally had to tell her that I was goin’ to Wed Millie.”
Slim did a double take, “What…you’re going to Wed Millie?” He gasped in amazement.
“Just said so didn’t I,” said Jess belligerently.
“Well heck Jess, congratulations buddy,” he said pumping his hand. Then thoughtfully, “I thought you’d planned to wait a while though? You said that Millie wasn’t ready for young ‘uns yet?”
“Yeah, well, plans change,” Jess said, feeling slightly less sure of himself now.
“And there’s something else Jess.”
“Huh, what’s that then, what else?”
“That money we’ve just forked out to buy that plot of land from the Benson spread, what with that and the stock we’ve committed to buy, well that hardly leaves much to build up on the east pasture like you’ve always promised Millie.”
Jess cussed quietly, “No,” he said after a minute looking weary, it really don’t.”
Then he had a brainwave, “But we don’t need to have our own place from the get go we could always set up in the bunk house , make it real nice and Millie and Daisy get along pretty good don’t they?”
“Well sure buddy, so what does Millie say about all this huh?”
Jess shrugged, “Dunno, I ain’t asked her yet.”
Slim raised his eyebrows in amazement, “Let me get this right, you’ve told Carrie that you’re going to set a date to marry Millie, but you haven’t asked her yet?”
Jess just nodded looking kind of wrong footed.
“Well I should get to it pard because if Miss Carrie comes visiting on Sunday with her Pa and congratulates Millie when she doesn’t know anything about it, well you’re going to be in big trouble…and I mean big trouble Jess.”
Jess looked kind of uncomfortable, “You think so?”
“I know so pard. Look its Friday tomorrow, I’ll take Daisy and Mike off to town to do the marketing, leave the coast clear here for you two to have a bit of privacy, you can pop the question then OK?”
Jess grinned across at his friend, “Yup, thanks Slim I owe you.”
*******
When Slim drove the buckboard into the yard the following afternoon there was no sign of Jess or Millie. He smiled to himself imagining the pair holed up someplace getting real excited and making plans. But the smile faded a few minutes later when Jess strode out of the barn leading Traveller and with a face like thunder.
“Jess, what’s up?”
“Going to town,” he said gruffly, “don’t wait supper,” and with that he was gone.
Mike looked alarmed at not getting his usual friendly welcome from Jess and looked up to Slim for reassurance.
“Is Jess alright?” he asked looking worried.
Slim gently ruffled the child’s blond locks, “No I guess not Tiger, come on help me unload huh.”
Meanwhile Daisy’s wise old eyes had taken in the scene and now she bustled off to find Millie.
She tapped lightly on the bedroom door and on entering saw Millie lying curled up in Jess’s bed, looking profoundly miserable.
“Oh my dear whatever is the matter,” she said rushing in and sitting on the edge of the bed, “have you two had words?”
Millie looked like she might cry and Daisy gently took her hand, “What is it dear you can tell me.”
“Oh Daisy I feel awful,” she finally managed, “Jess has been so sweet to me and I think I’ve upset him terribly” and she proceeded to explain.
“After you all went off to town he came in with a coffee for me and we sat and chatted for a while and then he suddenly asked me to marry him Daisy, before Thanksgiving!”
Daisy’s old face lit up in delight, but then she looked a little puzzled, “But that’s less than three months away dear, I thought he and Slim were building you a place over on the East pasture? Besides you told me you wanted to wait for at least a year or two? Not that I’m not delighted,” she added quickly, “nothing would make me happier than for you to have changed your plans but you don’t look very happy Millie dear?”
“Oh Daisy I’m just so confused. We were both happy with the way things were. I really don’t want a family yet and the way we are together well, it would happen for sure if we were married and together all the time,” she said blushing a little.
Daisy smiled down at her, “You forget I’m a nurse my dear and yes I do understand what you’re saying any young man would obviously take their ‘marriage commitment’ seriously,” she said subtly. “Yes I imagine you’d be pregnant within a few months and you don’t feel ready for that?”
“No, no I really don’t Daisy. I remember Ma saying to me years ago how although she loved my older sister, well Ginny just came too soon in their relationship. Once she and Pa were Wed, then things changed forever. I understand that’s how it would be, but is it so wrong for me just to want Jess all to myself for a few more years?”
“No of course not it’s a wonderful time of life being in love but still free from the responsibilities of running a home and raising a family. Although I know you’ll love that stage too my dear when the time is right,” said Daisy sagely.
“I know I shall Daisy, but as you say when I’m ready.”
“So what of Jess, why has he had this change of heart?” asked Daisy looking puzzled, “I thought you were both of the same minds? I really can’t think that Jess would want young ones just yet awhile although he is very good with Mike,” she reflected.
“Exactly,” said Millie looking exhausted, “we felt the same up until now. But he said it was this accident that changed his mind, said he couldn’t bear to lose me. How he wanted to be on hand to care for me all the time, like I say he was so sweet Daisy, he looked close to tears.”
“This whole business has really shaken him up Millie dear, he looks really quite ill with the worry of it all.”
“I know Daisy, and it’s down to Jess that I survived I really believe that. But it’s just plain wrong for him to feel this way. Don’t you see he’d be marrying me for all the wrong reasons? I can take care of myself and in his heart, he knows that. It’s just his way of dealing with everything. But in the end, nothing has changed. We decided we weren’t ready for a family and we still aren’t, I think we’d be making a terrible mistake rushing into things this way.”
“And Jess, what does he think?”
“He just can’t see it, he’s terribly upset, thinks I don’t love him enough I reckon, but that’s not true Daisy it really isn’t…if anything I’ve never loved him more.”
*******
Jess rode back at midnight and from the way he staggered into the bunkhouse, falling over things and finally collapsing on his bed, Slim knew that he’d found more than a little consolation in the whiskey bottle.
The next morning was Saturday, when they usually cut themselves some slack, carrying out the yard chores later than usual and indulging in a large leisurely breakfast.
However, this morning Jess was up at dawn and when Slim caught up with him a little later he was saddling Traveller up, a determined look in his eyes.
Slim entered the barn and warily approached his buddy, Daisy had filled him in on everything the night before and so he knew his buddy wasn’t in a good place right then.
“Jess are you OK?” He asked as he approached Traveller ’s stall.
Jess made a low grunt that could have been yes or no and didn’t look up from the task of tightening the cinch on his saddle.
“We need to talk pard. It seems you and Millie might have had some kind of a misunderstanding Jess. She wants to talk with you, she’s been thinking it all through, she’s upset buddy…”
Jess ignored him and pushing past led his mount out to the yard.
“Well maybe I need to think things through too,” he spat, jumping up athletically into the saddle.
“Jess listen up,” said Slim, seeing how bad his buddy looked. He was pale and shaking and had the look of a haunted man. But whether or not that was due to his tiff with Millie or an over indulgence in Red Eye Slim wasn’t too sure.
“Where are you going?” he called out to Jess’s retreating back.
“Checkin’ fence on the West boundary, back fer supper,” was his taciturn reply.
“Well make it noon,” Slim yelled after him, “there’s storm clouds brewing and we’re in for a real wetting Jess.”
Jess threw up an arm in answer and spurred Traveller out of the yard at speed.
When noon came and went and the storm arrived as predicted everyone was worried about Jess and it was young Mike who voiced what everyone was thinking.
“If Jess is real mad about something, do ya think he’s ridden off on one of his adventures, way he does sometimes?”
The child was astute enough to realise something was very wrong with his hero. He had picked up on the stress in the grown-up’s eyes when Jess was mentioned but didn’t know the full story. Um…an adventure with a whiskey bottle Slim thought dourly.
“Oh I don’t think so dear,” said Daisy cheerfully aware of the deep sadness in Millie’s eyes. “He’s probably just sheltering somewhere from this dreadful weather, he’ll be home as soon as it passes over.”
But once the storm was long gone and supper was over with, there was still no sign of Jess and even Slim felt a twinge of worry.
The western boundary was in rough hill country with plenty of places for a horse to lose his footing amongst the peaks and deep gullies. The fence line was on pretty flat firm ground. But there again the mood Jess was in he could well have taken off up the mountain hunting and in those stormy conditions the mountain trail would be pretty treacherous Slim knew.
It was when Mike had been long abed and Millie had finally been persuaded to turn in as well that Slim and Daisy could talk in private.
“You’re really worried about him aren’t you dear?” Daisy said as they sat before a roaring fire sipping coffee.
Slim made to protest, but then looking into Daisy’s wise old eyes he sighed deeply, “I am Daisy, yes he should have been back by now if he was just riding fence.”
“So you think what Mike said is true, he’s taken off somewhere to lick his wounds maybe, Millie said he was terribly upset when she turned him down.”
Slim just shrugged, “I really don’t know, he could have taken off to town again, to drown his sorrows in a whiskey bottle.”
“Like he did last night?” asked Daisy perceptively.
Slim just nodded, “He really isn’t himself right now Daisy, caring for Millie all that time wore him out, emotionally as much as physically I reckon. We were all on a kind of seesaw, one-minute thinking she’d be OK, the next she was about to die. Gee that’s enough to drive even the strongest man half crazy,” he said shaking his head. “And now this business, I can’t blame him for throwing off the traces some.”
Daisy nodded with understanding, “If that’s all it is dear, you don’t think he might have had an accident…that was a dreadful storm.”
“If he’s not back by breakfast I’ll go look for him,” he promised as they finally turned in for the night.
*******
Jess had been as mad as all get out when he rode off that Saturday morning but the further he rode away from the ranch, away from Millie the less angry he felt and more hurt. Garldarn it, one girl would give her eye teeth to marry him, would do so at the drop of a hat and the other seemed quite content to wait forever to become the future Mrs Harper. “Wimin,” he spat, “who could dang well understand ‘em?”
The further he rode on the calmer he became though and the more he thought about it the more he realised that Millie was right and he was wrong. Hang it all, he’d decided to ask her before all this business with Carrie came up, he knew that. But that had kinda forced his hand made him rush into it, without due consideration he now realised. Sure, Millie being so sick had really spooked him and his initial reaction was that he never wanted to let her out of his sight again. He wanted to care for her, protect her from harm of any kind. But the more he considered that, the more he realised that Millie would hate that kind of relationship. Heck wasn’t one of the things he loved most about her was her independence.
If he hadn’t travelled so far, he’d have turned Traveller and galloped back home. Told her he was sorry and he loved her and would wait forever, until it felt right for them both. But he didn’t because just then he reached the boundary fence.
He’d only been riding along it for half an hour when he saw it was down in one place and several heifers had escaped and were happily grazing far and wide. Cussing loudly Jess started rounding them up and finally mended the fence, as best he could, with the promise to return with some new wire the following day.
It was when he stretched after his labors rubbing his aching back that he heard the first ominous rumble of thunder and looking skywards saw the storm clouds almost overhead.
He decided to take the shortcut along a steep winding narrow trail towards the mountain, knowing there was plenty of shelter in the lea of the peak which had a covering of huge pines.
The thunder came closer and lighting rent the sky as he turned Traveller in the direction of the mountainside.
He was half way along the track, with the mountain foothills to one side and a steep drop to a gully below on the other when it happened…
A thunderclap crashed directly overhead and at the same moment a bobcat ran out in front of Traveller. The combination of these two shocks made Jess’s usually steady mount rear up in fright…unseating Jess who was tipped off and over the edge of the track. He ricocheted from rock to rock and finally came to rest about twenty feet below at the bottom of the gully, his last thought, Goddamn it I’m gonna die and I never made it up with Millie, before everything went black….
******
Meanwhile back at the ranch Slim had been quite concerned when his pard hadn’t staggered into the bunkhouse in the early hours stinking of whiskey and full of remorse, as he had expected. Sure Jess was upset, but he was a realist and would realise that Millie was talking sense at some stage, Slim was sure of that.
But when he hadn’t landed by mid-morning Slim had to accept that maybe there really was something wrong.
When Sam turned up a little later to check on his patient and assured Slim that Jess wasn’t in town…then the alarm bells really started ringing.
“Please Slim can you go find him,” asked an anxious Millie, “even if he was sheltering from the storm then he should have been back by now.”
Slim nodded, “How about it Sam, would you care to ride over to the west boundary with me? See if Jess has taken off up the mountain hunting maybe?” Hoping that he might have done just that to try and take his mind off of things. Give him a chance to simmer down too.
It was when they arrived at the breach in the fence that had obviously recently been patched up that he knew Jess had indeed passed this way.
He followed the hoof prints along the steep mountain track until the ground was churned up as though the animal had been spooked by something.
Slim and Sam looked down and after a moment could just make out a horse cropping the grass far below them.
“That looks a heck of a lot like Traveller, he must have back tracked and found his way down to the bottom of the gully,” said Slim, “come on Sam let’s get down there.”
They retraced their steps slowly going down the meandering track until they came to the mouth of the ravine. Several minutes later Alamo, Slim’s mount, gave a little whinny of welcome and Traveller raised his head and answered.
“Well that’s Traveller for sure,” said Slim, dismounting and wandering over, “so where the hell’s Jess?”
There was a small stream running down the bottom of the ravine, now quite swollen with the heavy rain of the previous day and along its edge the rock face had been worn away producing an overhang offering a little shelter beneath it.
Slim and Sam wandered along calling out Jess’s name and then Slim saw it, a boot sticking out from under the rocky outcrop.
“Jess? Jess!” He yelled and dashed over, wading across the stream, Sam hard on his heels and he hunkered down beside the sodden body of his best buddy.
He carefully hauled him out from under the hollow, turned him on his back and took a sharp intake of breath at his shocking appearance.
He was deathly pale with a nasty gash to his temple, his clothes soaking and he lay very, very still seeming to be hardly breathing a blue tinge around his lips.
Sam gently nudged Slim away so that he could examine Jess, feeling for a pulse in his neck and after a moment nodded to Slim. “He’s still with us but only just, he’s very deeply unconscious and half frozen. I guess if he’s been lying around in these soaking clothes all night. Help me get him up to some higher ground can you Slim and then start a fire we need to warm him up and fast.”
They managed to carry Jess up to a grassy plateau a little way along the gully where Slim found some dry wood beneath a pair of large pines and had a warming fire crackling away in no time.
In the meantime, Sam had stripped Jess of his sodden attire and was now rubbing his arms and legs briskly to try and warm him up some. Slim went and fetched his bedroll to wrap his partner in and then stood looking down at his pinched deathly white face.
“Looks like something spooked ol’ Trav and Jess was tipped over the edge,” Slim said, casting a worried eye up to the top of the gully some twenty or so feet above them.
“Uh, yes and this good old horse of his found his way down to him,” said Sam with a faint smile.
“Probably the smell of the water brought him down and then when he found Jess taking a nap decided to wait for him to get up,” Slim said shaking his head and reaching out to pat Traveller who had wandered over and was regarding his beloved master balefully.
“That’s one hell of a fall,” Sam said and now reassured that Jess was a mite warmer started examining him in more detail.
“Well what’s the damage?” Asked Slim after a while, feeling deeply uncomfortable that Jess hadn’t moved during the examination. No cussing, or protest, just lay there as still as if he was carved from granite.
Sam gave a low whistle… “It’s hard to tell. No broken bones…a couple of cracked ribs I’d say, multiple bruising and lacerations…amazingly he’s in pretty good shape. But of course, there could be internal damage…too soon to say. See that bruising to the torso and abdomen that could be serious. And that’s a really nasty abrasion to his temple could be concussed, I’ll have to watch him carefully.”
“But he will be OK?”
Sam shook his head, “I really can’t say Slim. I will be able to tell more once he wakes up, but right now all we can do is clean and dress his wounds and try and warm him up.”

Chapter 14
Even though Sam patiently swabbed down Jess’s face with cool water, it was sometime before he finally stirred.
The sun was now beating down strongly and had warmed him up but as he awoke he started to shiver violently and after a moment groaned and started retching, lying on his side he threw up for a few minutes before he lay back again exhausted.
“You done,” asked Sam kindly as he cleaned him up.
Jess just nodded his face almost grey now and a slick of sweat on his forehead.
“You just take it easy pard,” said Slim helping him to some water from the canteen.
Jess drank and then lay back down grimacing in pain.
“Where does it hurt Jess?” asked Sam quietly.
Jess closed his eyes tightly and then opened them again trying hard to focus on the doc, “Pretty much everywhere,” he finally managed, “my head worst I guess.”
“Uh, well you just rest easy Jess. I think maybe you’ve got some concussion from that nasty knock to your head. We’ll camp out here tonight, until you’re feeling more like it huh?”
Jess struggled to sit up again, “Millie…is she OK?”
“She’s just fine pard,” said Slim gently pushing his buddy down again, “You just rest up some huh?”
“Tell her,” he said his voice now so soft Slim had to lean over to hear him speaking, “tell her I love her Slim and I’m real sorry,” and then his eyes closed and his head fell back.
Slim turned agonized eyes to the doc, “Sam?”
The doctor felt Jess’s pulse and again listened to his chest before throwing Slim a comforting smile, “He’s holding his own buddy, sleeping naturally now let’s just give him some time huh.”

Jess was dreaming….
All he could hear were the agonizing screams emanating from the bunk house…
“Goddamn it, how much longer Slim?” he asked his partner, turning fearful eyes on his friend as they sat out on the porch A bottle of Red Eye between them.
Slim shrugged. “I remember when Ma had Andy she was in labor for nigh on twelve hours Jess. Millie’s only been badly for about four so far…that’s nothing.”
“Nothing… Nothing!” exploded Jess almost beside himself with angst now, “Hell Slim she’s in agony in there.”
Slim topped up his buddy’s glass, “Take it easy Jess, it’s not like it’s the first time is it? I thought you’d have become used to being a Pa by now,” he said with a broad grin.
“It ain’t bein’ a Pa that concerns me,” Jess spat, “It’s her bein’ a Ma. Dadgum it my part was easy enough Slim, but givin’ birth that’s a whole different thing. It shouldn’t be this painful,” and he sank his head in his hands as Millie screamed blue murder yet again, the terrible noise cutting through the peaceful summer afternoon.
Then everything went silent and Jess slowly raised his head from his hands….
When there was absolute silence for another few minutes he turned terrified eyes on Slim, “Something’s wrong Slim,” he said making to rise from the old rocker. But Slim pulled him back down again.
“Just leave it Jess, Doc Sam and Daisy know what they’re doing just take it easy huh.”
“Take it easy?” said Jess in disbelief, as he pushed Slim aside and started pacing up and down the porch. “How can I take it easy, women die in childbirth ya know Slim,” he said, his voice quaking.
Then just when he thought he could bear it no longer there was the shrill cry of a new born and moments later Daisy emerged from the bunkhouse carrying a tiny bundle wrapped in a snowy white shawl, the elderly lady’s face a picture of delight.
She walked over to Jess and put the infant into his waiting arms, “Here you are Jess dear meet your daughter,” she said, tears in her eyes.
Jess and Slim peered down into the tiny baby’s large eyes peering up expectantly, her black curls and perfectly heart shaped face making her look like the most beautiful baby they had ever seen.
Jess raised glittering eyes to Daisy, “Thank you,” he whispered.
Then the ranch house door was flung open revealing a small dark-haired girl of about seven “Can we come out now Pa,” she asked hopefully, “is the baby here?”
Jess nodded holding up the little bundle, “Yup honey, come and say howdy to your little sister.”
Then the older girl gave a whoop of joy and turning back to the house called something over her shoulder before running out to her Pa and cooing at the latest addition.
Then moments later five year old twin boys hurtled out yelling with delight as they tore out of the house, followed a moment later by a tearful two year old, “I want my Pa,” he wailed.
Jess quickly handed the new baby to Slim before scooping up the recalcitrant toddler.
“Hey what’s up buddy, you’re a big brother now ya know and that’s real special,” he said grinning at the boy and holding him close. Then after a moment the tears dried up and the sun came out again as he beamed at his Pa before wriggling free and toddling over to greet his new sister.
Slim shook his head in disbelief, “Who’d have known you’d make such a good Pa Hotshot.”
Jess just grinned flushing up with pleasure, “Can you mind the little one for a moment Slim, I just wanna check on Millie.”
“Uh, sure pard and…er Jess…you might just want to hang back a bit…in the old romancin’? Until we get around to building on the East pasture that is. With five young ‘uns in that bunkhouse I guess things will be getting a bit tight huh?”
Jess looked kind of sheepish, “I reckon you could say so Slim.” he agreed before shaking his head ruefully and going off to find his beloved Millie.

Jess stirred and his eyes finally flickered open and he looked around him in bewilderment before his gaze finally came to rest on Slim.

“Hey Hotshot how are you feeling?” asked Slim affectionately.
Jess squinted up at him and then gave a low groan….
“You going to chuck again?” asked Slim, moving back a little and fixing Jess with an anxious look.
Jess sighed deeply and then said, “Nope, but I’ve gotta go home now Slim. I’ve gotta see Millie…make things right.”
“Take it easy Jess,” said the Doc coming into view and beaming down at his patient, “all in good time young man. You just have a good night’s sleep and we’ll see if you’re well enough to travel tomorrow huh?”
Jess struggled to sit up a look of desperation in his deep blue eyes, “No you don’t understand Sam. Millie was right all along about us waitin’ to get hitched. I have to tell her in case she changes her mind,” he said looking real perturbed at the thought.
“Don’t you fret Jess everything will be just fine and anyway would it be so bad if she did change her mind? After all it was you who wanted to get Wed right away wasn’t it?” said Sam with a twinkle in his eyes.
Jess just groaned again and closed his eyes whispering something unintelligible, which sounded like, “God help me,” to Slim’s ears.
He exchanged a look with the doc and raised an eyebrow in question, “What’s up with him now Sam?”
The doc just grinned at his buddy, “Just a mite feverish I think Slim, he’ll be just fine once he sees Millie again.”
It was the following day that they finally started to make their way slowly home to the ranch, much against Doc Sam’s better instincts.
“I really don’t like the look of him this morning,” he said as an aside to Slim as Jess sat huddled over the camp fire trying to keep some coffee down.
“I know,” Slim whispered back, turning to his friend from where he was saddling Alamo, “but you know what he’s like Sam, once his mind’s made up…well then…” he finished with a little shrug.
“Oh I know alright,” said Sam wearily, “but if he’s adamant he’s going home today, well then he’s riding double with you Slim. I really can’t see him staying in the saddle for more than five minutes, if that. You’ll just have to ride real slow and easy huh, try not to shake up that nasty head wound too much.”
Much to Slim’s surprise Jess agreed to ride with him and with Traveller being led by Sam they made their way slowly back towards the western boundary and then across Sherman land to home.
Jess was riding in front and Slim had a firm arm around his waist, holding the reins in the other. They had only been riding for five minutes or so and as Sam predicted Slim felt his pard ’s body relax, go limp and his head fell back, Slim held him tightly and reined in, waiting for Sam to ride over.
“Is he OK?” asked the doc, peering over.
Slim shook his head, “Nope, passed out.”
Sam came nearer and viewed his patient looking concerned, “You’re right, he’s out cold.”He sighed deeply. “I reckon we’ll just carry on Slim, the sooner he’s home and in his own bed the better, he just needs rest.”
“Um, except Millie’s in his bed right now,” Slim said with the ghost of a smile.
Sam winked at his friend, “Well that should perk him up some,” he said with a chuckle, “come on Slim let’s get him home.”
*******
They arrived later that morning to an anxious reception committee made up of Millie and Daisy. Luckily Mike had been persuaded to go and spend a few days with a good school friend; Daisy being worried that current events would be too upsetting for the boy. And to be honest she had her hands full nursing Millie who was not fully recovered yet and she had a terrible foreboding that Jess would be in need of her ministrations when he finally landed home as well.
Her instincts were rarely wrong, but when Slim rode in looking tense and pale, supporting Jess’s unconscious form she rallied well. After an anxious ‘oh my’, she quickly went into action, helping Slim get him down from the saddle. Then Sam was at their side and the two men carried Jess into the ranch.
“Please,” cried Millie, “put him in his own bed, he’ll be more comfortable, I’ll move out.”
“Are you sure my dear?” asked an anxious Daisy.
“Quite sure,” said Millie firmly, “now what can I do to help?”
“Could you fetch some cool water and clean rags dear,” she said before looking from Jess to Sam and back, “What ever happened Sam?”
“He pitched off his horse and down the ravine near Offa’ s Peak, seems he was making his way to some shelter along the old Indian trail and a Bobcat spooked Traveller.”
“Oh goodness, why that ravine is very deep isn’t it?” said Daisy, watching as the doc gently started unbuttoning Jess’s blue shirt.
“About twenty odd feet drop there, thank goodness some scrubby bushes softened his fall a little, or it would be more than, concussion, cuts and bruises we’d be treating,” replied the doc casting her a relieved glance.
“Help me lift him will you Daisy so I can get this shirt off,” said Sam and then Daisy saw the binding to his chest and the dark bruising all around it, reaching down to his belt and she presumed below.
“Oh my,” she said again and Millie returning with the basin of water nearly dropped it when she saw the dreadful discoloring.
“Steady Millie, hopefully it’s not quite as bad as it looks, I’ve bound his chest as he may have cracked a couple of ribs.”
Then he turned back to Daisy, “The main thing I’m concerned about is internal damage, bleeding mainly. Can you watch him really closely Daisy and make sure he stays in bed and completely still until that concussion heals too?”
“Don’t you worry doctor,” she confirmed, “he’ll stay abed if I have to get Slim to chain him to it.”
“That’s fighting talk Ma’am,” Sam said with a twinkle in his eye, before he checked Jess’s chest and then unbuttoned his pants and gently examined his badly bruised lower abdomen.
“Hopefully his chaps and gun belt will have taken the worst of the trauma,” the doc said smiling at Daisy, “there’s no inflammation,” Then he felt all around the spleen and liver… “Nope all looking good there too.”
Then he listened to his chest again and after a minute took one of the damp rags from Millie and swabbed Jess’s pale face down, ” Come on Jess time to wake up buddy,” he said softly.
After a little while he groaned and opened his eyes, looking vaguely around him seeing Sam and then Daisy behind him, gave them the ghost of a smile.
Then said, “Millie?”
“I’m here Jess,” she said coming forwards and taking his hand, “I’m here.”
“Thank God,” he whispered, “Mil, I’m so dang sorry for what I said and going off that way.”
“Hush,” she replied softly, “nothing to be sorry about, you just rest huh?”
*******
Slim had left his partner in the good hands of the ladies and doc Sam whilst he went off to tend to the horses and half an hour later the doctor joined him in the barn.
“How is he Sam?”
“He’s come around, been chucking again but he’s got some of Daisy’s special tea down him and he’s sleeping easy now. Just keep an eye on him Slim, I’m still kind of worried there may be some internal damage but Daisy knows what to look out for just call me out, day or night.”
Then he lapsed into silence staring into space.
“Sam…is there something else, he will be OK?”
“Huh? Oh yes, I’m pretty sure there’s no sign of any problems so far and Jess is as tough as old boots. No, it’s not that Slim, I’m just feeling kind of bad about something that’s all.”
“Oh, would it help to talk about it?”
He sighed deeply and then slumped down on a handy straw bale.
“It’s my Carrie, she’s got this stupid notion that she’s in love with Jess again. Heck Slim I thought she was over all that.”
“I know,” said Slim leaning over the stall door.
“You know?”
“Uh, yeah we talked me and Carrie, she said she was OK, wouldn’t say anything to Jess about it. I figured he didn’t need any more pressure on top of everything else.”
“You’re right of course, that’s why I feel so bad. When I realised what was happening I asked Jess to have a word with her. To tell her there was no chance, not the way he and Millie are together,” he said with a shrug. “But it was wrong of me, if I hadn’t asked him then none of this would have happened. It was all this business with Carrie that sparked off the problems between him and Millie and consequently this accident. Gee Slim I’m just so damn sorry.”
“Look Sam, this is none of your doing, I was just as bad maybe if I’d said something to Jess as soon as I noticed how Carrie was acting it could all have been nipped in the bud before things got out of hand.”
Sam gave his friend a smile, “Well hind sight’s a great thing Slim, I guess we’ll just have to hope they get everything sorted out.”
The he sighed again, “Speaking of which I’d better get home, I think some plain speaking between me and my daughter is called for. I’ll tell you Slim, its times like this I sure miss her Ma.”
Slim slapped him on the back, “Don’t worry Sam, I think you’ve done a great job bringing her up and we all know that ol’ Hotshot is irresistible to women, she surely can’t help it,” he said with a chuckle. “But beats me as to what they see in him,” he said with a broad grin and the two men left the barn and went their own separate ways.
*******
“Maybe I should go home tomorrow,” said Millie as she and Daisy sat at the kitchen table drinking tea.
“Oh no dear that won’t be necessary, you’re still far from well and anyway, what would Jess say when he woke up and found you gone? Please stay there’s plenty of room. I think Slim will move back into their room to keep an eye on Jess overnight. So why don’t I make Mike’s bed up for you? He’ll be gone for a few days and then we can revue things again, there is even a spare cot in my room if we need it, so please dear do stay.”
“Thank you, Daisy, I didn’t really want to go when Jess was so sick, I feel just terrible when I think of that silly row we had.”
“Now my dear don’t you go blaming yourself. That quick temper of Jess’s is always landing him in hot water, you know that. This certainly isn’t the first time he’s ridden off in high dudgeon and returned in a whole mess of trouble as Slim would say.”
“Thank you, Daisy you’re so good for me.”
“Nonsense…now why don’t you just check Jess is still sleeping whilst I make your bed up in Mike’s room and then I think you should take a nap too dear.”
“Yes Daisy,” Millie said obediently.
She entered the bedroom and stood on the threshold for a minute, listening to the gentle rhythm of his breathing before venturing in and taking a seat by the bed one hand hesitantly reaching out to brush the damp tangle of curls from his forehead.
After a moment his eyelids flickered and then opened, his deep blue eyes staring at her for a moment before his face relaxed into an easy grin, “Millie sweetheart.” Then he remembered all that had happened over the last forty-eight hours and grimaced, “Mil… I’m so dang sorry, forgive me?”
“I already did, remember?”
He looked slightly bewildered and then relaxed, “Yeah, that’s right…just before I threw up.”
She gave a charming giggle at that and then clasped his hand that was lying on the covers and took it up kissing it gently before smiling into his eyes, “There’s nothing to forgive anyway let’s just forget it all and carry on as before huh?”
He gave a huge sigh of relief and suddenly felt his eyelids heavy again, “Did I tell ya I love ya?” He whispered.
“Oh yes,” she nodded, her eyes sparkling, “but it wouldn’t hurt to say it again.”
“Love you,” he whispered before finally drifting off.
“Love you too cowboy,” she said softly, holding his hand to her lips once more and that was how Daisy found her when she came by a little later to chivvy her off for her nap.

Chapter 15
It was almost a week before Jess was up and about again and Daisy had her work cut out keeping Jess in bed and also making sure that Millie took sufficient rest to complete her recovery too.
“I despair of them,” said Daisy chuckling to herself as she and Doc Sam enjoyed a quiet coffee together in the kitchen. “Millie is forever fussing over him and then Jess gets worried she’s doing too much and wants her to rest.”
“Well there’s one thing for certain,” said the doc casting his pleasant smile in Daisy’s direction, “they sure won’t have any problem with the ‘in sickness and in health’ part of the wedding vows when the time comes.”
“Well that’s true,” Daisy said returning his smile, “I think they’ve both proven that over the last few weeks.”
Sam looked quickly around him and then with a conspiratorial wink said, “So any news on that front, have they made a decision as to when they are going to marry?”
Daisy shook her head, “I’ve really no idea Sam, I think maybe they haven’t really had the opportunity to talk properly, I’m afraid privacy is at a premium around here. Especially now Mike is home, he’s hardly let Jess out of his sight, you know how fond the child is of him and Millie too.”
Meanwhile Jess had Millie in his arms as they stood in Traveller’ s stall on the pretext of checking on his horse.
He leaned down and kissed her tenderly and then more passionately, twisting her loose hair in one hand, the other cupping her beautiful face.
Then they heard Mike’s shrill cry from the yard, “Slim, where’s Jess I want him to help me with my new racoon cage he promised he would and now I can’t find him.”
Slim flicked a glance towards the barn, a faint smile playing around his lips, “I think Jess’s is kinda busy right now Tiger, why don’t I take a look huh?” and slinging an arm around the boy’s shoulders walked him across the yard to the porch where the cage was waiting their attention.
In the barn Jess gave a little groan of frustration, “It’s no good Mil, you’re gonna have to go home.”
Her eyes widened, “I know the doc’s just checked me over and said I’m fine to travel now. But hey cowboy, are you trying to get rid of me?”
Jess shook his head beaming, “Nope, just the opposite, I’m tryin’ to get a bit closer to you, without all these interruptions. I thought I might drive you in, see you settled…over the week-end maybe?”
“Why Jess Harper you are getting positively devious in your old age,” she said primly. Then her face relaxed into a warm grin, “But I guess that sounds like a real swell idea.”
So it was the following day Millie and Jess set off in the buggy waving fond farewells to all at the ranch.
“Just the week-end,” Slim had said as an aside earlier, “Don’t you dang well get holed up in Miss Millie’s room and forget where the door is Jess. Doc Sam has said you’re fit for light duties too so I want you back here feeding the hens and chopping the wood come Monday morning OK?”
“Oh you’re a hard man Mister Sherman,” Jess said ginning at his partner. Then he threw a gentle punch at his friend’s arm, “You got it and thanks Slim.”
As the buggy rolled along through the bright morning sunshine they passed the lake and for two pins Jess would have reined in, walked Millie up to the cave, overlooking the lake, and made sweet, sweet love to her there and then. Jeez it had been a long time since they’d lain together he thought. He cast his mind back to how much he was looking forward to seeing her on that fateful day just a few weeks back, as he made his way home from the cattle drive. The plans he’d had. A hot tub and shave, clean clothes and then that wonderful moment when he saw Millie, held her in his arms, kissed and caressed her before making for that huge comfortable old feather bed in her room.
“Jess what are you thinking about, you’re very quiet?” asked Millie with a quizzical glance.
Jess flushed up, “Huh…nuthin’ sweetheart, just lookin’ forwards to having you all to myself, that’s all.”
She took his hand and smiled up into his twinkling eyes, “Me too,” she whispered.
Jess and Millie had decided to sneak in via the back fire escape entrance, to avoid all the banter in the saloon, “Just until I’ve settled you back in,” Jess explained, “then you can catch up with Tom, Lily and the others later huh?”
“So that’s what you’re calling it now is it, ‘settling me in,’” she said with a wicked wink, but followed him up the back steps to her room happily enough.
Once inside Jess turned the key in the lock and took Millie in his arms kissing her soundly before pulling back and gazing lovingly down at her, “How are you feeling?”
“I’m just dandy, how about you?” She asked with a giggle.
“Never better.”
“Well then,” she said, looking up into the burning passion of his deep blue eyes…
Then he leaned in and kissed her again, this time very single-mindedly.
She gave a little groan of pleasure and shivered with desire as he ran a hand down her back, pulling her into an even closer embrace leaving her in no doubts as to what he intended to do next.
He very slowly picked her up and carried her over to the big bed.
They had only been lying there for a little while when there was an insistent hammering on the door.
“Ignore it,” Jess whispered in her ear and she giggled, pushing her hand up to her mouth to smother the sound.
But the hammering increased, “Garldarn it Millie, its Tom here, and Mose says he saw you with Jess in the buggy not more than half an hour ago. Now will you open this door girl, I’ve important news!”
Jess and Millie exchanged a glance and sighing deeply she rolled off the bed, quickly replaced her dress and made for the door.
“What’s so important Tom?” Asked Millie as she hauled the door open and then looking past her aging boss saw…her dear Ma standing there, tears in her eyes.
“Oh honey I’ve only just heard about the accident and came over on the very next Stage. I’ve been so worried,” and the usually bright and cheerful Peggy Johnson collapsed in sobs.
At the first sound of her voice Jess leapt out of bed adjusting his pants as he did so and strode over.
“Heck Ma, come in,” he said quickly, as Millie took her mother in her arms assuring her that all was well again.
“Right,” said Tom beaming at them all, “So that’s settled. I’ve told your Ma I’ll bring a spare cot in, so she can bunk down in here with you Millie for her stay, sure you’ve got lots to catch up on,” and with that he went off whistling cheerfully. Then he turned back, “Oh welcome home Millie dear no work until Monday you hear, you just have a nice visit with your Ma.”
Jess and Millie exchanged a hopeless glance and little shrug behind her Ma’s back, before Millie took hold of her hand and settled her on the couch offering coffee.
Gee, Jess was fond of Peggy and as far as a future Ma-in-law went…well you couldn’t wish for anyone nicer, but right now he wished her anywhere but right there.
Peggy was nobody’s fool though and she picked up on the atmosphere at once, “Am I interrupting something?” She asked peering over to where Jess was buckling on his gun belt.
What could he say?
“Heck no Ma, I just dropped Millie off, gotta be on my way I reckon you and Millie will have a lot to catch up on.”
Peggy nodded, “Yes we have son and thank you for all you’ve done. I saw Doctor Baker and he believes it was you who pulled my girl back from the brink. I can never thank you enough for that Jess.”
Jess just stood there looking slightly bashful and then a moment later Peggy was on her feet and marching over gave him a warm kiss on his cheek, “Thank you dear,” she said sincerely, looking deeply into his eyes and Jess had the feeling she wasn’t just thanking him for what he’d done for Millie, but for the sacrifice he was making now too.
He smiled down at her, “That’s OK Ma,” he said softly and putting on his hat he turned for the door. There he paused and gave then both a little salute, “I’ll see you next week huh, go dancin’ maybe?”
Millie’s face was a study as she swallowed down her disappointment and tried to give him a brave smile.
“I’ll er just make some coffee dears,” said Peggy diplomatically as she made for Millie’s small kitchen.
“That would be lovely,” replied Millie, but whether she was referring to the coffee or the dancing was unclear, then she ran over to Jess and kissed him before whispering, “I’m so sorry…”
“It’s alright sweetheart,” he said stoically, “next week huh it’s a promise OK?”
She nodded, “OK,” and finally closed the door, before pinning a smile on her face and going to find her Ma in the kitchen.
Jess landed back at the ranch before noon and once he’d put old Betsy up and parked the buggy around the back he turned his attention to the wood pile. He started wielding the axe with grim determination and that’s how Slim, Mike and Daisy found him later after returning from visiting a neighbour.
Slim helped Daisy and Mike down from the buckboard before striding over to his partner.
“What’s up Jess, don’t tell me you and Millie have had another falling out over the wedding plans?”
“Nope, nuthin’ like that,” Jess said gruffly, barely pausing in swinging the axe.
“Hey Hotshot, what’s up?” asked Slim looking concerned now.
“If ya must know her Ma turned up and was plannin’ on stayin’ in her room and I kinda thought three was a crowd,” Jess spat angrily.
Slim hid a smile, and patted his buddy on the back, “Well I’m real sorry Jess but there’s always next week huh?”
Jess merely muttered something rude under his breath before turning his attention back to the woodpile.
All this time Daisy and Mike had been looking on anxiously.
“Is Jess alright, is he mad about something?” Mike asked Slim as he returned to them standing on the porch.
“Just kinda frustrated I guess,” muttered Slim, turning to wink at Daisy.
“Ma Johnson turned up to visit with Millie,” and Slim and Daisy exchanged a knowing look.
“Huh,” piped up Mike, “what’s frustrated mean?”
Slim hid a smile, “Never mind Tiger, yeah Jess is mad about something, but by the time he’s chopped a whole mess of logs I figure he’ll be feeling plenty better. Come on let’s go help aunt Daisy with dinner huh.”
The following week seemed to be one of the longest in Jess’s life as he manfully ploughed on with work just living for the week-end to come.
The summer was slowly drawing to a close and he knew Slim, ever the worrier, would be suggesting they think about checking fence on the lower pastures prior to bringing the stock down for the winter. This was one of Jess’s least favourite jobs for its mind-numbing boredom. And as he had dreaded Slim brought it up that Friday morning.
“Garldarn it, give me an ornery mustang to be busted where I spend my day eatin’ dust, rather than dang fence ridin’,” he said morosely as soon as Slim mentioned it. “At least it ain’t ever borin’”
“No just dang dangerous,” Slim batted back, “and don’t forget Sam said you weren’t to go anywhere near a mustang until he’s absolutely sure that old head of yours is completely healed.” Then more gently, “Come on Jess a nice ride out to the East pasture, check a few miles of fence, back for supper huh…what do you say?”
What Jess was about to say was very rude, but just then Mike popped out of the ranch door and said “Can I come out with ya too, can I Jess huh, huh can I?”
Jess looked at Slim over the child’s head and winked, “Well I dunno Tiger, what do ya think Slim, reckon the kid can keep up with me and Trav on that little pony of his, huh?”
“Hey Sunny’s real fast you know she is!” said Mike taking the bait and looking incensed as he stuck up for his much loved little Palomino mare.
“Oh I think he can just about,” said Slim, grinning down at the child and ruffling his hair.
“OK,” said Jess indulgently, “I guess you can tag along go tell aunt Daisy and Mike shake a leg huh. I’ve got me a hot date tonight and I wanna be home early to wash up real good OK.”
“Oh yeah, I’d forgotten about that,” said Slim with a smirk, “so has her Ma left for Cheyenne then?”
“Yup, went this morning according to Mose. And I’ll tell ya now Slim, iffen you’re expecting me home anytime before Monday you can forget it. I’ve got me a lot of catching up to do with Millie, yes siree,” he said with a huge grin as he marched off to saddle up Traveller.
The weather looked set fair and that was why Jess was surprised when storm clouds suddenly blew in, the wind whistling through the pines being decidedly chilly.
They were right over the far side of the pasture and Jess decided to head for home right away as neither of them had their rain slickers and a good dousing of cold rain was not something he relished.
“Come on Tiger we’ll double back and go down dead man’s gully, be home in no time huh?”
As it was the rain was upon them way before they reached the short cut and they were feeling thoroughly soaked and miserable before they reached the steep shale bank which lead to an old Indian trail, cutting a good half hour off their journey home.
Jess blamed himself and nothing anyone could say or do changed that.
One minute he was riding slowly down the steep bank calling back to Mike to rein Sunny in and take it real slow and the next Traveller slipped, the loose stones below his hooves sliding as the torrential rain turned the earth to a slippery mud bath.
At the first sign of danger Jess sprang from the saddle and started leading Traveller down the dangerous bank, turning and yelling to Mike to do likewise…but too late.
Even as the words left his mouth he stared in horror as Sunny slipped, fought courageously to get her balance back and then lost it falling heavily before she rolled and staggered up again, careering down the mountainside in terror.
Mike was blessedly thrown clear but was slammed hard against a tree, crying out in pain.
Jess dropped Traveller’ s reins and tore back up the bank, dropping to his knees by the child who was now holding his arm tightly, his face contorted in pain and crying out.
“Easy, easy Tiger I’ve got you,” Jess said gently pulling the boy into a warm embrace before staring down at the obviously broken arm hanging at a strange angle.
He quickly slipped off his bandana to use as a makeshift sling and tenderly eased the arm into a more natural position, Mike screaming in pain the tears coursing down his pale cheeks.
“OK, OK it’s all done now buddy, come on let’s get you home,” and picking the child up made his way slowly down the slippery slope where their mounts were waiting, now calmly cropping the sparse vegetation.
As Jess rode into the yard some half hour later, with a shivering tearful Mike supported in front of him on Traveller, Slim wandered out of the barn and stared up in dismay at the couple.
“Well don’t just stand there gawping,” yelled Jess irritably, “help him down, Slim, the kids hurt real bad too.”
Slim was galvanized into action at Jess’s brusque tone and running forwards gently took the child from Jess’s arms and strode off into the house, swiftly followed by Jess.
Daisy bustled out of the kitchen at the sound of raised voices, drying her hands on her apron before running over to where Slim was gently laying the child on the old leather couch.
“Why Jess whatever happen?” she gasped
“Took a tumble off of Sunny, busted his arm,” said Jess looking anxious, then stooping to ruffle the boy’s hair he turned for the door.
“Where are you going?”Slim flung after him.
“Fetch the doc of course,” Jess growled, “where do ya think?”
Slim shook his head, “You’re soaking wet Jess and Traveller’ s been out all day he’ll need a rest, I’ll go.”
Jess looked like he’d argue the toss and then seeming to change his mind sank down on the edge of the couch, removing his hat and wiping his sleeve across his wet face.
“Thanks pard,” he said quietly.
“Go and get into some dry clothes dear, before you catch your death,” said Daisy beginning to undress Mike, “Once this young man is in his night shirt I’ll make us all a nice hot drink.”
Jess still sat beside Mike, “I’m so dang sorry Tiger,” he whispered, “I should have taken better care of you.”
Mike seemed to have got his second wind now he was sitting cosily on the old couch a rug around him.
“Jess it weren’t your fault,” the child said stoutly, “it was just an accident. So, do ya think I’ll be too sick for school next week, huh, huh?” he asked his eyes alight with hope.
Jess got up quickly, turning away.
“Jess?”
Slim could see how upset his buddy was as he mooched over to the fireplace and leaned on the mantelpiece head down.
“I figure Jess is kinda tired Mike,” Slim said softly, “Why don’t I take you to your room. Aunt Daisy can bring you some milk and cookies and a hot bottle to warm you up some huh? Then I’ll go fetch doc Sam.”
The boy nodded and Jess looked up as he was carried swiftly off in Slim’s strong arms, “I’ll come read ya a story just now Tiger,” he called after the boy.
Slim returned from the bedroom a little later and left Mike in Daisy’s tender care. He marched to the door for his hat and gun belt before turning back to where Jess was now slumped on his rocker staring into space.
“Are you OK Jess?”
He shrugged before turning troubled eyes on his partner, “I feel terrible Slim, I should never have taken that backtrack. I know it’s bad after a storm, I just wanted to get home quickly I guess.”
“Hey, buddy it’s just one of those things. Do you want me to call in at the saloon and tell Millie you’ll be late when I fetch Sam?”
Jess shook his head, “Nope, I guess not, just tell her I can’t make it this week. I’ll see her next Saturday huh.”
“Hey Jess it doesn’t take all three of us to care for the kid, come on, Millie will be expecting you.”
“Just do as I say,” Jess spat angrily, before heaving himself out of the chair and marching off to Mike’s room.
Slim shrugged as the bedroom door closed behind Jess, “Whatever you say, but she won’t be happy,” he muttered before turning on his heel and leaving.
As he expected Millie was truly sympathetic, at first, “Aw the poor little guy, is it serious?”
“Well it looks to be broken, Sam will know better, he’s already on his way, I just stopped by to say Jess won’t make it tonight.”
Her face fell obviously disappointed, but she rallied well, “Poor Jess I suppose he’s blaming himself is he?”
Slim nodded smiling, “You know him too well Millie.”
She returned the grin, “But he’ll be out tomorrow?”
Slim looked uncomfortable, “He said to say he’d see you next week, sorry Millie. I guess he’s taken it kind of badly, thinks he should be the one to care for the boy.”
She just nodded and then wandered off to serve a customer.
Later once it was quiet Lily commiserated with her friend. Lily had been privy to the argument Millie and Jess had about bringing the wedding forward and how Millie was still happy the way things were and didn’t want to settle down just yet.
Lily looked thoughtful when Millie said Jess wasn’t visiting at all that week.
“Um,” she said after a minute, “you know what they say Millie absence makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe he’s playing games with you, trying to get you to miss him so much you’ll give in and get wed like he wants?”
“No,” said Millie quickly, “Jess isn’t like that, he wouldn’t,” but she had a thoughtful look in her eye as she started polishing glasses…would he?

Chapter 16
Meanwhile back at the ranch Jess devoted all his time to caring for Mike. He was still on light duties and so spent all his time around the yard and ranch, most of it with Mike, spinning yarns and reading to him.
Now a week later however Jess was determined to see his girl. Mike was pretty much on the mend. The week before as well as the nasty break he had also suffered from a really bad chill and Jess was kept busy nursing the boy. It always seemed to be Jess he wanted when he was sick. Plus, Jess was still feeling mighty responsible for the accident and just felt he needed to make it up to the boy.
“I figure Millie wasn’t any too impressed when you didn’t turn up for the dance Jess. Sure, she was sorry for Mike, but I reckon she thought you could have landed on the Sunday maybe,” Slim said to his partner, when it became obvious Jess was spending the weekend caring for the boy.
Jess had frowned, “Well heck the kid needs me Slim. Millie will understand when I explain and I’ll make it up to her next Saturday take her dancin’,” he said with a grin.
It was the following week when disaster struck yet again, on the Saturday morning.
This time however it was poor Daisy who got sick, an event practically unheard of at the ranch and relay. They had come to rely on her so much, that the idea that she could be vulnerable and get sick herself never crossed their minds.
When the men awoke on the Saturday morning to a cold house with no signs of breakfast, the fire not stoked up and the kitchen empty, the alarm bells started ringing.
“Do ya think she’s just overslept?” Jess asked as he glanced moodily around the cold deserted kitchen.
Slim shrugged, “I dunno buddy either that or maybe she’s sick?”
“Huh…sick, she can’t be sick Daisy doesn’t get sick,” said Jess looking shocked at the very idea.
“Come on pard,” Slim said with a weak grin, “you git to frying the bacon and I’ll brew up some coffee.”
Mike tore into the kitchen a few minutes later and stopped dead in his tracks, “Where’s Aunt Daisy?” He asked in surprise.
“Gettin’ a lay in so hush up will ya Tiger,” Jess said turning to the child with his blond halo of hair standing on end and still in his night shirt.
“Go get dressed Mike this’ll be ready in a moment,” he added.
“Well I can’t can I?” wailed the child looking frustrated, “Aunt Daisy has been helpin’ me dress and wash up. I can’t manage too well,” he said lifting his arm resting in the sling.
“Nor you can,” said Slim winking at the boy, “come on Mike, let’s go get you sorted out,” and the two went off together.
Then Jess had to cut all the boys food up for him before finally wolfing down his own breakfast and relaxing over another coffee.
Mike had wandered off to feed the hens when Jess turned concerned eyes on his friend, “It’s nearly eight now Slim, she never sleeps in this long, I figure there’s something real wrong.”
“I guess we’d better check on her,” Slim agreed.
The two men went over to Daisy’s door, tapped lightly on it, before opening it a crack.
“Daisy, are you OK?” whispered Jess.
When there was no response the two men exchanged a worried glance before opening the door wider and entering.
The room was in complete darkness so Slim went over and pulled the drapes and both men turned to the bed but it was empty.
“What the heck?” Muttered Jess.
Then a moment later they heard a soft groan and peering beyond the bed they saw the prone figure of Daisy lying on the floor. They rushed to her side and Jess hesitantly turned her over. She gave another little cry. Then her eyes flickered and opened wide as she peered around the room in confusion, before her gaze finally came to rest on Jess and Slim, who were hunkered down beside her.
“W…what am I doing down here?” she finally whispered.
“I dunno Daisy, you tell us,” said Jess with a faint grin, then realizing how pale and sick she looked he carefully lifted her up and carried her across the room placing her gently on the bed. Slim pulled the coverlet up snugly around her nightgown before sinking down on the edge of the bed.
“What happened Daisy, are you sick?” he asked gently.
She sighed and then fluttered a hand up to her head and the men noticed a huge dark bruise forming on her temple, “I do have a little headache,” she replied hesitantly.
“So, you fell out of bed did ya?” persisted Jess trying to get to the bottom of things.
“No…I don’t think so dear. I got up to make breakfast as usual and then, yes I remember now. I had a giddy spell, felt really dizzy and then nothing until you boys came in.”
She gave a little sigh and then looked worried, “Breakfast why goodness me what time is it, I must get up,” she said briskly making to pull the covers back. But Jess was too quick for her and grabbed the blanket tucking it firmly back in around her.
“You’re goin’ nowhere Daisy, save maybe back to sleep,” he said, brooking no argument.
She looked over to Slim for support, but he just smiled at her, “Jess is right Daisy, you’re staying in bed today and one of us will ride for the doc.”
“Oh no don’t be silly dear, I’ll be fine after a nice cup of tea.”
“Daisy,” said Jess resolutely fixing her with his no messin’ gaze, “just rest up you hear, no arguments.”
“Yes, alright dears,” she said meekly knowing when she was beaten, “maybe I will take a little nap if you can manage?”
“Sure we can,” Slim smiled down at her, “you just take it easy huh.”
“And Mike, he needs extra help just now you know,” she persisted.
“All in hand Daisy, now you just relax,” Jess said before stooping down and kissing her tenderly on the forehead.
The men left the room closing the door quietly behind them before exchanging a concerned glance.
“Hell this is all my fault Jess,” said quietly, “She’s dang well exhausted, what with nursing Millie, and then I was bad. I figure all this extra work with Mike, on top of everything else has just been too dang much for her.”
Slim nodded, “She’s no spring chicken, I guess we forget that sometimes.”
Jess just shook his head looking real upset and they were silent for a few minutes.
“I guess I’ll ride for the Doctor Jess, I had word yesterday that the Stage line boss is in town and he wants a quick meeting, so I may as well see him at the same time. If you’re Ok here looking out for Mike and Daisy? “
“Sure, sure Slim, you get off, see ya later.”
It was a couple of hours later before Doc Sam finally rode in.
Jess had checked on Daisy frequently since Slim rode out, but she was fast asleep as he relayed to Sam as soon as he arrived.
“And what’s more I figure she’s concussed and run down real bad too,” Jess said as the doc entered the house.
“So when did you qualify as a doc then Jess?” asked Sam grinning across at him, “Goodness knows you’ve had enough experience of being on the receiving end of trouble, but I didn’t realise that made you and expert.”
“Maybe not,” said Jess hotly, “but I know a sick old woman when I see one so are you gonna check her over Sam…or what?”
The doctor sobered immediately, “Of course Jess at once and I’m sorry for my levity I was out of order.”
Jess just shrugged, “And I’m sorry Sam I figure we just ain’t used to Daisy bein’ sick, ‘tis all….” and he left the doc to check over his patient and went off to brew them some coffee.
“Well I reckon you’re just about spot on Jess,” said Sam, as he sipped the welcome drink sometime later.
Both men were seated at the kitchen table, but Jess stood up and started pacing anxiously around at the confirmation of his fears.
“Garl darn it Sam I feel so bad about all this business. Do you think maybe she should give up work? Is it too much for her?” he asked looking stricken.
“Heck no, hush up Jess. Don’t let her hear you saying that for goodness sake. No siree I figure this was just a one off. She’d overslept she said and jumped out of bed a mite too fast, that’s what made her dizzy and fall. It was just unlucky that she caught her head on the washstand as she fell. But you know she’s a tough old bird,” he said with a chuckle. “Nope your dear Daisy has got a good few years to go before it’s time to hang up her apron,” he said with a broad grin.
“Well that’s all very well Sam, but she looks real poorly to me,” said Jess stoutly and Sam sobered at once.
“Well yes she is a tad below par, a mild concussion and in need of some rest that’s for sure, a week or so should do it.”
“Um, well I dunno how we’re gonna keep her abed for that long,” said Jess morosely,“ she was second in line when they were handin’ out stubborn ya know Sam.”
“Umm…I do and I know you were first,” he said with a sudden bark of laughter, “But don’t worry Jess, I figure this has shocked her some and she’s promised to be a model patient.”
“Well cheers to that,” said Jess happily, sitting down again and raising his cup feeling much more cheerful.
Sometime later Sam made his farewells.
“Just keep an eye on her Jess. She mustn’t be left alone in the house for the next forty-eight hours…and any sign of vomiting or severe headache send Mose with a message and I’ll call back, but hopefully she’ll be on the mend within a few days.”
Mike had joined Jess in waving off the doc and now he turned troubled eyes up to his hero, “Aunt Daisy will be OK won’t she Jess?”
“Sure she will be Tiger, it’ll just take time and I guess it’s down to you and me to look out for her huh.”
Until Slim gets back anyway he thought. He suddenly remembered his hot date with Millie that night and his face relaxed into a soppy grin, time alone with his girl at long last.
*******
When supper had come and gone and there was still no sign of Slim, Jess started to get anxious. He’d showered and dressed in his Saturday night attire of brocade waistcoat and sparkling white shirt, dark string tie at his neck and matching dark trousers, tucked into his Sunday best boots.
“You look swell,” pronounced Mike as Jess peered out of the window for the umpteenth time.
“Thanks Tiger,” he said absently, “come on now buddy, time you turned in huh?”
Mike reluctantly made for his room, “‘Night Jess have a great time won’t ya.”
“Umm,” he replied.
“So ain’t ya going,” the child persisted, “you’ll be late.”
Jess just shook his head, “Can’t do that buddy. I can’t leave you and Aunt Daisy alone. I’ll wait until Slim lands home OK?”
The child looked mighty relieved at that news and went off to bed in a much happier frame of mind.
When Slim finally rode into the yard it was gone midnight.
Jess who had been asleep in his rocker in front of the fire raised a weary head as Slim came quietly in. Then he stopped in his tracks when he saw Jess was still up.
He turned and removed his gun belt and hat, hanging them up by the door before wandering over and slumping down in the other fireside chair. It was then that he noted the brocade waistcoat, now unbuttoned, the string tie, hanging loose around his pard’ s neck and his best boots discarded by the hearth.
The tall rancher sighed deeply, “Gee Jess I’m so dang sorry, I clean forgot you were seeing Millie tonight.”
Jess rolled his eyes, “Well thanks so I trust you had a fun evening?” He said bitterly.
“Huh? Oh no, not really. Never mind about that, how’s Daisy? I saw Sam and he said she had to rest up some?”
Jess set his mind at rest on that score and then said testily, “So what was so dang important to keep you in town to this hour and more importantly I hope you’ve explained to Millie, because….”
Then he stopped when he saw Slim’s sudden look of guilt.
“Hell Slim, the least you could damn well do was explain to her! According to Mose she was none too pleased when I didn’t show last week, this will really do it. I doubt she’ll ever speak to me again at this rate!”
“I really am sorry buddy. See it was Mr Peterson, he was asking my advice about some new stage routes he wants to set up. It’ll mean more business for us, more money too. I couldn’t just walk out on him. We met up in his hotel room and then I was so worried about Daisy I came straight back. I didn’t even go to the saloon.”
Jess threw his head in his hands and groaned, “Garldarn it Slim…she’s gonna kill me!”
*******
Jess rode out early the following morning and landed in town just as dawn was breaking. The Sunday morning Main Street was deserted as Jess tethered Traveller to the rail outside the saloon and strode over to hammer on the door.
It was several minutes before a disheveled and irritated Tom drew the bolts back and opened up, peering blearily out into the early morning sunshine.
“What the hell…Oh it’s you,” he said as he focused on Jess, “Better come on in son but I ain’t serving you beer at this hour, it is Sunday you know!”
“Yeah, I know,” Jess said equally irately, “but I need to speak to Millie.”
“Ah, Millie is it,” said the older man looking resigned, “well good luck on that one Jess, but you can go on up.”
Jess took the stairs two at a time and then knocked lightly on Millie’s door and waited.
Sometime later he eventually heard movement within and then the door was hauled open revealing Millie in her brief nightgown, her dark hair loose and prettily mussed up framing her face, her dainty feet bare… And Jess thought she had never looked so lovely.
“Millie…Mill… I’m so dang sorry about everything,” he said quickly, judging by the look in her eyes that she might well slam the door in his face.
Then their gaze locked and she knew she was lost, “Come in,” she said in a resigned voice.
She gestured to the battered old couch in front of the fire and he sat, after flicking a quick glance to the untidy tumble of bedding on her deep comfy feather bed.
Then he removed his hat and fixed her with his most charming smile.
But before he could speak she said briskly, “Well I don’t know where you were last night, but I went to the Laramie dance in the company of Lon.”
Jess’s head shot up and he gaped at her, “What Lon...d’ ya mean Mort’s deputy Lon?”
“The very same and I had a great time danced all night long, never without a partner.”
“But…hell Mill, Lon’s married what are ya playing at?”
“Betty was sick, they had two tickets and so she suggested he take me, we’re good friends at the Women’s Group.”
“But you said you went with him,” said Jess still looking scandalized.
“I said in the company of. I was also with Mort and Lily and a half dozen others, but Lon looked after me real good and brought me home safely.” Then she sighed deeply, “How about you…huh…..did you have a fun time where ever you were?” She asked sarcastically.
He just shrugged, “I guess not, Daisy was sick, I had to stay home and look after her and the boy, Slim had business in town. He forgot I was seeing you and didn’t land back until gone midnight.”
Millie looked shocked by this news, “Poor Daisy is she OK?”
“Will be, she just took a dizzy spell and had kinda a bad fall, she’ll be OK though in a week or so.”
“I’m sorry,” she said sincerely, “it was Lily, she reckoned you were playing games and I guess I half believed her.”
Jess looked incensed at this, “Hell if anyone’s playin’ games it’s you tryin’ to make me jealous sayin’ you went out with Lon and were dancin’ all night long!”
Then what she’d said really hit home. “Huh what do ya mean Lily says I’m playin’ games what games?”
Now it was Millie’s turn to look uncomfortable, “She thought that maybe you were trying to make me change my mind about bringing the wedding forwards by staying away. You know, absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that?”
“Huh?”
“You know Jess by staying away I’d miss you…want to get wed sooner. Like you wanted?”
He frowned deeply trying to process this piece of female logic and then said, “Heck I weren’t Mill. I wanted to see you something fierce. But when Mike was in so much pain I just couldn’t walk out on the boy. Same with Miss Daisy, doc said as how she weren’t to be left. Then with old Hardrock setting the whole damn Stage Company to rights I had no damn choice.”
“I guess we’ve both been acting like a pair of crazy kids,” she said. “If I’d just known Jess I wouldn’t have been so upset.”
“So you were then? Upset I mean…you missed me?”
She finally smiled, “Of course I did you idiot…what do you think?”
She leaned forwards and kissed him lightly on the lips before pulling back her eyes sparkling with mischief.
“Jess I’ve been thinking about all that business. How you said that you wanted to look out for me, bring the wedding forwards and I guess maybe if that’s what you really want then we could. You know set up home in the bunkhouse just until you can afford to build huh what do you say?”
Jess suddenly had a flash back to that terrible nightmare he’d had when he was so sick after falling down the gully. Millie being in labor her screams of agony renting the air. Then once the baby arrived safely how all the other little ones had trooped out of the house to view their new baby sister born across the yard in the bunkhouse. His seven-year-old daughter, five-year-old twin boys and then their toddling baby brother. Jeez it had been so dang real. And he remembered Slim’s last words to him before he awoke….

“And…er Jess…you might just want to hang back a bit in the old romancin’, until we get around to building on the East pasture that is. With five young ‘uns in that bunkhouse I guess things will be getting a bit tight huh?”
Jess looked kind of sheepish, “I reckon you could say so Slim.” he agreed before shaking his head ruefully and going off to find his beloved Millie.

“Jess…Jess what is it you’ve gone awful pale.”
“Huh…err nuthin’. Except well, I’ve been thinking Millie and maybe you’re right we shouldn’t rush into things. You know weddings are real special, we need time to plan everything. And yeah, you were right it would be kinda cramped in that ol’ bunkhouse. Maybe next year, or even the year after,” he said vaguely.
“Well heck Mister, you’ve sure changed your tune,” she said hiding a little sigh of relief. She loved Jess something fierce, but weddings and babies um…maybe not quite yet.
Then throwing him a demure look said, “Whatever you think is best though Jess, if that’s what you really want?”
He nodded also hiding a sigh of relief, “Sure, that’s what I really want.”
Then he grinned down at her, “Ain’t got no problem with a bit of romancin’ though how about it Mill eh, it’s been a powerful long time since we….” and he raised an expressive eyebrow.
She pretended to look doubtful, “Well I don’t know cowboy. Daisy and I were discussing things and I was saying as how I didn’t want to get wed just yet as I didn’t feel ready for young ‘uns and she kinda reminded me…”
“Huh…reminded you of what?”
“Reminded me that young ‘uns come along sometimes even if folk aren’t wed…reminded me to be careful.”
“Hell Millie you ain’t been talking all that kinda thing through with Miss Daisy have ya?” He said looking unnerved, heck how would he ever show his face back at the ranch again.
“Oh come on Jess, she is a nurse after all and a very good friend, she was just looking out for me.”
“I know,” he sighed, “but ya know I’m careful Millie, real careful. I take care of all that you know I do…so?”
She leaned in and kissed him again and this time she didn’t pull away.
After a little while Jess scooped her up and carried her off to the warm comfortable old bed, laying her gently down before lying down beside her and taking her in his arms.
Then later as things moved on apace he lay back, supporting his head on his hand, “Uh Millie…er are there any twins in your family…huh?”
She looked surprised and then smiling said, “Nope not as far as I know why?”
He just smiled back and took her in his arms once more, “Oh no reason,” he whispered into her hair, “no reason at all….”
The End
Thank you for reading.